Don't even know how to do this

[Rhomphaeam]

Well, it's clear. Peter and Paul were Pharisees (according to the OP). Why? Because they taught the below heresy!

Peter wrote (as the Word of God)
1 Peter 2:19-23 NKJV - "For this [is] commendable, if because of conscience toward God one endures grief, suffering wrongfully. 20 For what credit [is it] if, when you are beaten for your faults, you take it patiently? But when you do good and suffer, if you take it patiently, this [is] commendable before God. 21 For to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps: 22 "Who committed no sin, Nor was deceit found in His mouth"; 23 who, when He was reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed [Himself] to Him who judges righteously . . ."

Paul wrote (as the Word of God)
1 Corinthians 7:16-17 NLT - "Don't you wives realize that your husbands might be saved because of you? And don't you husbands realize that your wives might be saved because of you? 17 Each of you should continue to live in whatever situation the Lord has placed you, and remain as you were when God first called you. This is my rule for all the churches."

Unbelievable.

When you tell me in another thread that pastors mostly miss the deliverance of the curse that arises out of the disobedience of Adam and Eve - then press a wrong application of the Scripture onto a sister then I know that agreeing with you no matter how well you press the truth in abstract will be a burden and a cause of stumbling. If you see the curse - then preach deliverance and not a weight of the Law of God. And I don't care how incredibly that may seem to you.

 

[2ndTimothyGroup]

When you tell me in another thread that pastors mostly miss the deliverance of the curse that arises out of the disobedience of Adam and Eve - then press a wrong application of the Scripture onto a sister then I know that agreeing with you no matter how well you press the truth in abstract will be a burden and a cause of stumbling. If you see the curse - then preach deliverance and not a weight of the Law of God. And I don't care how incredibly that may seem to you.

I apologize, but I have no idea of what you're trying to convey. It seems that you're combining multiple random thoughts into single sentence groupings. What [is] clear, however, is that you feel that I am not understanding Scripture and am thus causing a stumbling block to another. This would be a massive concern to me, as that is the last thing that I would want to have happen.

You are encouraged to expose what you feel I am not understanding correctly. Thank you for your help.

 

[TheLearner]

I was with my abusive husband for 25 years. He completely drained all life out of me and I no longer recognized myself. He was not a father to our children, I was the only parent, yet I got all the criticism if he thought I was being a bad parent.

Regardless of what the pharisees say, Christ does not expect his daughters (or sons) to suffer in abandoned marriage. And my marriage was spiritually and emotionally and, from a marital point of view, physically abandoned.

We are not called to suffer abuse for abuse sake. The only time we're called to endure suffering is for the cause of Christ. Any other abuse (persecution), we're told to flee from. You can't evangelize a man who has abused you for 25 years. His heart is dead.

I am not ashamed for leaving my husband. I know who Christ is, he's the man who defended the adulteress from the pharisees because their abuse of her was more heinous to Christ than her adultery. They were breaking one of the two NT laws...love thy neighbor as thyself. And, in doing so, were actually breaking both of them. (Love the Lord with all your heart.) He addressed her adultery, but with love and compassion and not until AFTER the abusive pharisees were dealt with and sent on their way. Their threat to her was eliminated FIRST.

That's the Christ I worship. Not the false one devised by ignorant OT law keepers who have no real understanding of the scriptures regarding new testament marriage.

1 Corinthians 7:10-15
Easy-to-Read Version
10 Now, I have a command for those who are married. Actually, it is not from me; it is what the Lord commanded. A wife should not leave her husband. 11 But if a wife does leave, she should remain single or get back together with her husband. And a husband should not divorce his wife.

12 The advice I have for the others is from me. The Lord did not give us any teaching about this. If you have a wife who is not a believer, you should not divorce her if she will continue to live with you. 13 And if you have a husband who is not a believer, you should not divorce him if he will continue to live with you. 14 The husband who is not a believer is set apart for God through his believing wife. And the wife who is not a believer is set apart for God through her believing husband. If this were not true, your children would be unfit for God’s use. But now they are set apart for him.

15 But if the husband or wife who is not a believer decides to leave, let them leave. When this happens, the brother or sister in Christ is free. God chose you to have a life of peace.

"
1 Corinthians 7
In his first letter to the Corinthians, Paul addresses the subject of divorce. While he strongly urges against divorce in most circumstances, in 7:15, Paul says a believer who has been abandoned by an unbelieving spouse is free to divorce and remarry—the believer is not “under bondage in such cases” (NASB).

However, a close reading reveals Paul parallels Exodus 21:10-11 with his instructions in 1 Corinthians 7. Spouses must not deny one another their conjugal rights (7:2-5), must not abandon or neglect each other (7:10-16) and must provide for each other (7:32-35).

Andrew Naselli summarizes: “Since Paul repeats the requirements of Exodus 21:10 and since Exodus 21:11 allows for divorce when those requirements are not met, the principle still applies: divorce is legitimate when those requirements are not met—that is, when one breaks the marriage covenant.”


"
https://www.baptiststandard.com/opinion/voices/abuse-is-biblical-grounds-for-divorce/

Let us all pray for her husband salvation and transformation in Christ. My Mom's boyfriend was just a month before death.

 

[TheLearner]

Well, it's clear. Peter and Paul were Pharisees (according to the OP). Why? Because they taught the below heresy!

Peter wrote (as the Word of God)
1 Peter 2:19-23 NKJV - "For this [is] commendable, if because of conscience toward God one endures grief, suffering wrongfully. 20 For what credit [is it] if, when you are beaten for your faults, you take it patiently? But when you do good and suffer, if you take it patiently, this [is] commendable before God. 21 For to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps: 22 "Who committed no sin, Nor was deceit found in His mouth"; 23 who, when He was reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed [Himself] to Him who judges righteously . . ."

Paul wrote (as the Word of God)
1 Corinthians 7:16-17 NLT - "Don't you wives realize that your husbands might be saved because of you? And don't you husbands realize that your wives might be saved because of you? 17 Each of you should continue to live in whatever situation the Lord has placed you, and remain as you were when God first called you. This is my rule for all the churches."

Unbelievable.

Peter is writing about being tortured for Christ, Not an excuse to live with an abusive spouse.

 

[Lanolin]

oh sorry OP I couldnt tell from your post whther you were male or female. But yea the comforter will come to you, Jesus sends to all who believe. May not be in the form of an actual person though as some people expect.

I dont quite understand why OP lived with abusive husband for 25 years but then ALSO misses the comforts of married life?! Doesnt sound at all comfortable to me...!! Unless husband was comforting wife at the same time as abusing her? How does that work.

 

[Lanolin]

having some to always go with well.
This is the thing..sometimes you may ASK friends to go with you or sometimes you just go by yourself.
I dont know what it is but dont be afraid of doing stuff on your own.

with friends dont make it out like you are asking for favours and then guilt trip them if they decide not to. They can say no. Things happen. Sometimes you may actually need to call a taxi or uber if you cannot drive yourself. There is nothing wrong with doing this its probably safer in some situations.

 

[2ndTimothyGroup]

Peter is writing about being tortured for Christ, Not an excuse to live with an abusive spouse.

My bad . . . chapter two (the example of Christ) extends into chapter 3. See below and note the word "likewise."

1 Peter 3:1-2 NKJV - "Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.

2 Pet 2:19-23 is [not] only about torture. It is about the sufferance of all varieties.

1 Peter 2:19-25 NKJV - "For this is commendable, if because of conscience toward God one endures grief, suffering wrongfully. 20 For what credit [is it] if, when you are beaten for your faults, you take it patiently? But when you do good and suffer, if you take it patiently, this [is] commendable before God. 21 For to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps: 22 "Who committed no sin, Nor was deceit found in His mouth"; 23 who, when He was reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed [Himself] to Him who judges righteously; 24 who Himself bore our sins in His own body on the tree, that we, having died to sins, might live for righteousness--by whose stripes you were healed. 25 For you were like sheep going astray, but have now returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.

Continued to chapter 3, and note the subheadings of the NKJV Bible:

Submission to Husbands
1 Peter 3:1-17 NKJV - 1 Wives, likewise, [be] submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they observe your chaste conduct [accompanied] by fear. 3 Do not let your adornment be [merely] outward--arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on [fine] apparel-- 4 rather [let it be] the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible [beauty] of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. 5 For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.

A Word to Husbands
7 Husbands, likewise, dwell with [them] with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as [being] heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.

Called To Blessing
8 Finally, all [of you be] of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, [be] tenderhearted, [be] courteous; 9 not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing. 10 For "He who would love life And see good days, Let him refrain his tongue from evil, And his lips from speaking deceit. 11 Let him turn away from evil and do good; Let him seek peace and pursue it.

Suffering For Right and Wrong
12 For the eyes of the LORD [are] on the righteous, And His ears [are open] to their prayers; But the face of the LORD [is] against those who do evil." 13 And who [is] he who will harm you if you become followers of what is good? 14 But even if you should suffer for righteousness' sake, [you are] blessed. "And do not be afraid of their threats, nor be troubled." 15 But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, and always [be] ready to [give] a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear; 16 having a good conscience, that when they defame you as evildoers, those who revile your good conduct in Christ may be ashamed. 17 For [it is] better, if it is the will of God, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil."

 

[Lynx]

My bad . . . chapter two (the example of Christ) extends into chapter 3. See below and note the word "likewise."

1 Peter 3:1-2 NKJV - "Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.

2 Pet 2:19-23 is [not] only about torture. It is about the sufferance of all varieties.

1 Peter 2:19-25 NKJV - "For this is commendable, if because of conscience toward God one endures grief, suffering wrongfully. 20 For what credit [is it] if, when you are beaten for your faults, you take it patiently? But when you do good and suffer, if you take it patiently, this [is] commendable before God. 21 For to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps: 22 "Who committed no sin, Nor was deceit found in His mouth"; 23 who, when He was reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed [Himself] to Him who judges righteously; 24 who Himself bore our sins in His own body on the tree, that we, having died to sins, might live for righteousness--by whose stripes you were healed. 25 For you were like sheep going astray, but have now returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.

Continued to chapter 3, and note the subheadings of the NKJV Bible:

Submission to Husbands
1 Peter 3:1-17 NKJV - 1 Wives, likewise, [be] submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they observe your chaste conduct [accompanied] by fear. 3 Do not let your adornment be [merely] outward--arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on [fine] apparel-- 4 rather [let it be] the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible [beauty] of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. 5 For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.

A Word to Husbands
7 Husbands, likewise, dwell with [them] with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as [being] heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.

Called To Blessing
8 Finally, all [of you be] of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, [be] tenderhearted, [be] courteous; 9 not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing. 10 For "He who would love life And see good days, Let him refrain his tongue from evil, And his lips from speaking deceit. 11 Let him turn away from evil and do good; Let him seek peace and pursue it.

Suffering For Right and Wrong
12 For the eyes of the LORD [are] on the righteous, And His ears [are open] to their prayers; But the face of the LORD [is] against those who do evil." 13 And who [is] he who will harm you if you become followers of what is good? 14 But even if you should suffer for righteousness' sake, [you are] blessed. "And do not be afraid of their threats, nor be troubled." 15 But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, and always [be] ready to [give] a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear; 16 having a good conscience, that when they defame you as evildoers, those who revile your good conduct in Christ may be ashamed. 17 For [it is] better, if it is the will of God, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil."

Merry Christmas anyway Tim. Maybe you'll find a way to be happy and find some peace on earth in spite of all the sin around you.

 

[Rhomphaeam]

I apologize, but I have no idea of what you're trying to convey. It seems that you're combining multiple random thoughts into single sentence groupings. What [is] clear, however, is that you feel that I am not understanding Scripture and am thus causing a stumbling block to another. This would be a massive concern to me, as that is the last thing that I would want to have happen.

You are encouraged to expose what you feel I am not understanding correctly. Thank you for your help.

You said, "What [is] clear, however, is that you feel that I am not understanding Scripture and am thus causing a stumbling block to another."

When you tell me in another thread that pastors mostly miss the deliverance of the curse that arises out of the disobedience of Adam and Eve - then press a wrong application of the Scripture onto a sister then I know that agreeing with you no matter how well you press the truth in abstract will be a burden and a cause of stumbling. If you see the curse - then preach deliverance and not a weight of the Law of God. And I don't care how incredibly that may seem to you.

The above is what I said. In RED to make the points I made regarding the specific element of your post (also in RED) as separated out for clarification. If you exercised some discernment I didn't question your understanding of Scripture - I questioned you application in this instant.

As to the latter point you have made:

I don't see a need to expose anyone. Not here on this forum nor in public life unless they are a minister of the Word and a harm to the flocks. That especially applies to any matter that carries a weight of trying to understand a sister who opens her personal life up in order to seek advise.

I read the OP authors post and her profile before I decided to comment. I read it all. And if the Lord had required me to address any matter then it would begin with her last sentence because unless the Lord had spoken to me expressly then I have no right to be telling a sister what is wrong with her life because she speaks of being single again - when in truth she is separated from her husband. But we all use terms as they are most likely to be understood culturally and that necessarily leads to some misunderstandings. So I won't make presumptions no matter what.

I also get very anxious at the thought of social situations. I'm just a mess.

That term mess in that last sentence the sister posted is qualified in part by the preceding sentence and it amounts to having no one to be with in social situations. That could be anywhere couldn't it? Cinema, cafe meal, walk in the park - it could even subliminally apply to servicing the car or having it serviced and negotiating the terms with a mechanic - it could be almost anything. But being in a mess is not a light statement and especially for a sister who's husband remained an unbeliever for ten years after she was saved in a 25 year marriage that involved abuse.

Similarly, the term abuse is not qualified - yet the overarching sense from the entire post is not one of bitterness - but regret. So again I would personally predicate my replies to a compassionate meaning and overlook the other terms that could easily be explained as giving rise to a mistaken meaning - provided I knew that the entire post was in some way a carless and flippant attitude. I can't see that. Can you?. So when we [you] says things that by their definition of ordinary meanings tend to a moral and spiritual disobedience of another believer by necessary inference - then that is either a prophetic certainty - in which case say thus says the Lord - or else show some compassion. And lastly, that is my meaning when I speak of a mistaken application of Scripture. Its not really that difficult to understand no matter how fractured my meanings may seem. Just take one sentence at a time and recognise the predicate clauses that qualify the post clausal meanings.

 

[2ndTimothyGroup]

You said, "What [is] clear, however, is that you feel that I am not understanding Scripture and am thus causing a stumbling block to another."



The above is what I said. In RED to make the points I made regarding the specific element of your post (also in RED) as separated out for clarification. If you exercised some discernment I didn't question your understanding of Scripture - I questioned you application in this instant.

As to the latter point you have made:

I don't see a need to expose anyone. Not here on this forum nor in public life unless they are a minister of the Word and a harm to the flocks. That especially applies to any matter that carries a weight of trying to understand a sister who opens her personal life up in order to seek advise.

I read the OP authors post and her profile before I decided to comment. I read it all. And if the Lord had required me to address any matter then it would begin with her last sentence because unless the Lord had spoken to me expressly then I have no right to be telling a sister what is wrong with her life because she speaks of being single again - when in truth she is separated from her husband. But we all use terms as they are most likely to be understood culturally and that necessarily leads to some misunderstandings. So I won't make presumptions no matter what.



That term mess in that last sentence the sister posted is qualified in part by the preceding sentence and it amounts to having no one to be with in social situations. That could be anywhere couldn't it? Cinema, cafe meal, walk in the park - it could even subliminally apply to servicing the car or having it serviced and negotiating the terms with a mechanic - it could be almost anything. But being in a mess is not a light statement and especially for a sister who's husband remained an unbeliever for ten years after she was saved in a 25 year marriage that involved abuse.

Similarly, the term abuse is not qualified - yet the overarching sense from the entire post is not one of bitterness - but regret. So again I would personally predicate my replies to a compassionate meaning and overlook the other terms that could easily be explained as giving rise to a mistaken meaning - provided I knew that the entire post was in some way a carless and flippant attitude. I can't see that. Can you?. So when we [you] says things that by their definition of ordinary meanings tend to a moral and spiritual disobedience of another believer by necessary inference - then that is either a prophetic certainty - in which case say thus says the Lord - or else show some compassion. And lastly, that is my meaning when I speak of a mistaken application of Scripture. Its not really that difficult to understand no matter how fractured my meanings may seem. Just take one sentence at a time and recognise the predicate clauses that qualify the post clausal meanings.

I have no idea of what you're saying. Best of luck to you.

 

[Rhomphaeam]

I have no idea of what you're saying. Best of luck to you.

That seems a pity. I wrote in plain English. But I do accept that I am not given to playing with words. Shalom

 

[NewBeginnings22]

oh sorry OP I couldnt tell from your post whther you were male or female. But yea the comforter will come to you, Jesus sends to all who believe. May not be in the form of an actual person though as some people expect.

I dont quite understand why OP lived with abusive husband for 25 years but then ALSO misses the comforts of married life?! Doesnt sound at all comfortable to me...!! Unless husband was comforting wife at the same time as abusing her? How does that work.

Abusers are notorious for the Jeckyl and Hyde act. They're super sweet and nice sometimes and then monsters at other times. It's why so many people stay so long in abusive relationships. During the nice times, the abused person has been gaslighted and manipulated so thoroughly that they actually can't remember very well the bad times and so it's hard to leave because they think, maybe it's not as bad as I remember. It's literal brain damage that's done to victims of abuse (even if no physical abuse was ever present).

 

[2ndTimothyGroup]

That seems a pity. I wrote in plain English. But I do accept that I am not given to playing with words. Shalom

I think it's that you're much smarter than I am. I'm sorry.

 

[2ndTimothyGroup]

Abusers are notorious for the Jeckyl and Hyde act. They're super sweet and nice sometimes and then monsters at other times. It's why so many people stay so long in abusive relationships. During the nice times, the abused person has been gaslighted and manipulated so thoroughly that they actually can't remember very well the bad times and so it's hard to leave because they think, maybe it's not as bad as I remember. It's literal brain damage that's done to victims of abuse (even if no physical abuse was ever present).

I know for me, I stayed in nearly all of my relationships because I loved more deeply than the women that I was involved with. My sense of empathy is both a blessing and a curse . . . for my empathy always believed; always hoped; never gave up. They were nearly all abusive to me, while I was thrilled to serve in every way that I could. Whenever they would make massive mistakes, they would apologize to me; my heart would melt and I would believe them. However, they could never hold true to their words and we would inevitably fall back into the same old cycle.

My former wife actually beat my back, leaving hand-prints all over me and in her sickness, turned to the phone to call the police to have me arrested for abusing her. It was simply incredible. And in the end, it was me who asked three times, "What can I do to save the marriage?" All three times she ignored me. In the end, I was the "bad guy." I was ALWAYS the bad guy regardless of my level of service to her and her Blessed children. So, she divorced me.

 

[tourist]

I know for me, I stayed in nearly all of my relationships because I loved more deeply than the women that I was involved with. My sense of empathy is both a blessing and a curse . . . for my empathy always believed; always hoped; never gave up. They were nearly all abusive to me, while I was thrilled to serve in every way that I could. Whenever they would make massive mistakes, they would apologize to me; my heart would melt and I would believe them. However, they could never hold true to their words and we would inevitably fall back into the same old cycle.

My former wife actually beat my back, leaving hand-prints all over me and in her sickness, turned to the phone to call the police to have me arrested for abusing her. It was simply incredible. And in the end, it was me who asked three times, "What can I do to save the marriage?" All three times she ignored me. In the end, I was the "bad guy." I was ALWAYS the bad guy regardless of my level of service to her and her Blessed children. So, she divorced me.

The X from my horrible first marriage which ended after 6 1/2 years in 1984 was abusive to me too. Yep, me too always the bad guy. She divorced me too. It was actually an act of mercy by God.

 

[Rhomphaeam]

I think it's that you're much smarter than I am. I'm sorry.

Its not about being smart brother and I am sorry that you think that. I actually attended a residential school for learning disabled children from the age of ten to the age of seventeen because I was traumatised by my childhood and could NOT connect with real learning. Smart is a mistaken term to use if only because the Lord is exacting when it comes to his judgements. If we are going to speak for the Lord in any way then we also have to learn to be as precise as He is precise when He has shown mercy so often that we pass into judgement because we will not repent of our own fleshy inclinations arising out of our experience of life.

Brethren, what men experience at the hands of their wives is as far from physical abuse (that can be endured by a man) - as the mental abuse that countless numbers of women experience at the hands of men which is then carried into their children and into their generations. It is something we need to learn - and the best place is to begin is with the fact of our own salvation. Simply because we have experienced a willingness to endure our wives if they are abusive - does not come close to how women often endure their husbands - and yet experience an effect that men often only experience by drink and drug abuse.

When a wife beats her husband it is his body and so it is limited to his body. When a man mentally abuses his wife then the entire family can disintegrate into pieces. Thats not a macho expression - it just happens to be a serial fact of bodies. And so if we then say that we haven't abused our wife's body - and only sought to make her compliant in her mind - we wilfully choose to refuse that when a woman becomes lost in her mind she may not only neglect her own body to the point of becoming a prisoner in her own marriage - but she may also harm her children.

So, brother, my own determination, seeing as my mother was a serial abuser and almost destroyed me in my childhood - is to show compassion until it is time for the Lord to judge the woman - if He does intend to do so. Her children are her garment when her husband is a vile man. Sorry to be so passionate - but I must explain my own motive for being so intelligent.

 

[2ndTimothyGroup]

Its not about being smart brother and I am sorry that you think that. I actually attended a residential school for learning disabled children from the age of ten to the age of seventeen because I was traumatised by my childhood and could NOT connect with real learning. Smart is a mistaken term to use if only because the Lord is exacting when it comes to his judgements. If we are going to speak for the Lord in any way then we also have to learn to be as precise as He is precise when He has shown mercy so often that we pass into judgement because we will not repent of our own fleshy inclinations arising out of our experience of life.

Brethren, what men experience at the hands of their wives is as far from physical abuse (that can be endured by a man) - as the mental abuse that countless numbers of women experience at the hands of men which is then carried into their children and into their generations. It is something we need to learn - and the best place is to begin is with the fact of our own salvation. Simply because we have experienced a willingness to endure our wives if they are abusive - does not come close to how women often endure their husbands - and yet experience an effect that men often only experience by drink and drug abuse.

When a wife beats her husband it is his body and so it is limited to his body. When a man mentally abuses his wife then the entire family can disintegrate into pieces. Thats not a macho expression - it just happens to be a serial fact of bodies. And so if we then say that we haven't abused our wife's body - and only sought to make her compliant in her mind - we wilfully choose to refuse that when a woman becomes lost in her mind she may not only neglect her own body to the point of becoming a prisoner in her own marriage - but she may also harm her children.

So, brother, my own determination, seeing as my mother was a serial abuser and almost destroyed me in my childhood - is to show compassion until it is time for the Lord to judge the woman - if He does intend to do so. Her children are her garment when her husband is a vile man. Sorry to be so passionate - but I must explain my own motive for being so intelligent.

Thank you, sir.

Might I encourage you to explain how I have been a stumbling block? Also, to help me understand my faults, if you could show how I am guilty of being a stumbling block whereas others, in the thread, have not been a stumbling block to me. I'm not saying that anyone, here, has in fact been a stumbling block for me, but it seems fair that if my words have been an issue for some, then surely, their words would be an issue for me.

To be clear: I am not complaining, rather, simply trying to understand why I am the only one at fault when in fact I offered my sincere empathy in post #3.

Thank you.

 

[Lynx]

I know for me, I stayed in nearly all of my relationships because I loved more deeply than the women that I was involved with. My sense of empathy is both a blessing and a curse . . . for my empathy always believed; always hoped; never gave up. They were nearly all abusive to me, while I was thrilled to serve in every way that I could. Whenever they would make massive mistakes, they would apologize to me; my heart would melt and I would believe them. However, they could never hold true to their words and we would inevitably fall back into the same old cycle.

My former wife actually beat my back, leaving hand-prints all over me and in her sickness, turned to the phone to call the police to have me arrested for abusing her. It was simply incredible. And in the end, it was me who asked three times, "What can I do to save the marriage?" All three times she ignored me. In the end, I was the "bad guy." I was ALWAYS the bad guy regardless of my level of service to her and her Blessed children. So, she divorced me.

Ah THAT explains why you have been yelling at newbeginnings about this. You have personally been wounded by similar circumstances.

Of course that doesn't make it okay to blast at her when you don't understand her situation... but it does make your reaction more understandable. "Hurting people hurt people" as they say.

 

[cinder]

I know for me, I stayed in nearly all of my relationships because I loved more deeply than the women that I was involved with. My sense of empathy is both a blessing and a curse . . . for my empathy always believed; always hoped; never gave up. They were nearly all abusive to me, while I was thrilled to serve in every way that I could. Whenever they would make massive mistakes, they would apologize to me; my heart would melt and I would believe them. However, they could never hold true to their words and we would inevitably fall back into the same old cycle.

My former wife actually beat my back, leaving hand-prints all over me and in her sickness, turned to the phone to call the police to have me arrested for abusing her. It was simply incredible. And in the end, it was me who asked three times, "What can I do to save the marriage?" All three times she ignored me. In the end, I was the "bad guy." I was ALWAYS the bad guy regardless of my level of service to her and her Blessed children. So, she divorced me.

So because you didn't leave abusive partners and found some Bible verses you can universalize and use to support that decision; you're now convinced that everyone who finds the courage and ability to extricate themselves from an abusive situation is blatantly disobedient and in opposition to God and you must tell them how wrong they are. Is that a fair summary? My Bible knowledge is good, but I can't remember a situation in Bible where Jesus ever interacted with a hurting person by slinging the law at them and telling them how much wrong they were doing. Can you remember such an instance? There might be a place for a serious theological debate about the point at which poor treatment (as will inevitably happen between two fallen people trying to do life together) crosses over into the territory of something so bad that it justifies dissolving the marriage and getting out to protect yourself and your children, but that place is not in response to someone who basically comes here to start a thread about I'm newly single and feel so lost and confused about how to live single and needs some support.

Betting that didn't make your Christmas very merry either.

 

[tourist]

Of course that doesn't make it okay to blast at her when you don't understand her situation... but it does make your reaction more understandable. "Hurting people hurt people" as they say.

Similar to misery loves company.