Well....I have read all of this thread except for the last half of the overly involved posts that were either super imposing their own or someone elses they knew situation on yours as a temple measuring rod.
So....I guess for emotional purposes comparison we are doing two things here imposing our experiences on your situation and .....
The other is beating you with a bible telling you what scripture says.....
It appears both avenues have gone a little excessive to me.....so I will try to limit my own and condense my own exp.....
First though let's look at what you have provided which to me appears you as you say have done all that you can find to do logically.
Ten years is a long time to because of obvious neglect suffer emotional and physical abuse....some people get shorter prison sentences and I say physical because the body needs comforting and without you can't function in a serene balanced way as designed by God.....
There appears there is something very disturbing about your husband....from the way you represent it and one poster said....it doesn't sound like the marriage was ever fully consumated for whatever reason....and I'll get dinged for this probably but you appear to be if it can be determined by an avatar an attractive woman....and assuming your husband the same age as yourself or near thereto......what is it 40....
There is definitely some major major wrong issue....
It makes me suspect your husband has some dark dark secrets....and or psychological. issues that he wants to either hide or remain in denial about......
There isn't any reason unless its medical or psychological or he actually is an adulterer whether homosexually or heterosexually ......
Have you tracked his free time ?....
From 25 to 45 yrs age should be the most active ....even well beyond those age there is just no excuse......work stresses and physical exhaustion can effect but stresses are relieved through interaction release......SO
In my honest opinion even though you say he is an ok guy......I can't agree with you on it.....the guy is definitely off or abby normal or an adulterer or you aint the desired gender....
Not wanting to upset you with any of that but.....
The ladies comments here have rightly pointed out here biblically we become one in marriage and we are to honor each other above ourselves which includes comfort and intimacy and your normal healthy desires for children.
Regardless of what his actual issue is.....financial anxiety gender confusion whatever.....
Bottom line is God said go forth be fruitful and multiply and you express that natural desire....and he isn't committed....he either doesn't want children or doubts the marriage or himself financially or something worse!!!!
You gave him a decade of your misery....and OL boy just won't man up and get R done.
It doesn't sound like he wishes to be a monk because he don't like going to church.
So.....why is he behaving like one with you and is there infidelity elsewhere that explains everything.....does he dissappear sometimes or insist on showering alone ?
Maybe he is only capable of enjoying his ownself.
From your indications something is preventing him from healthy desires and I believe it raises serious suspicions.....Have you gone as far as having family or friends call him out on it?
I could suggest some scenarios and dialogue but it wouldn't be proper and if you got to shame him to get him to do what he should naturally desire then he doesn't love you....
People usually only change when it becomes to painful not too.....that's a fact....
Many won't turn to God for his help until the pain gets to great.....
God forgive me and everyone else also please if I am wrong in saying but he isn't given you any reason to believe or hope from your Indications.....
Im not wanting to be anything but logically honest.
I realize marriages aren't perfect unless to Christ but it doesn't sound like he is married to you or Christ!!!
When he should be married to both.....Christ said he shouldn't cause you temptation and he should honor your desires.
He isn't doing any of it so for all practical purposes other than a paycheck sounds like he is just a dead man walking.
Myself personally I would be overjoyed and thrilled if I had an attractive wife wanting to carry my child even at my age I would be all in all the time and doing anything extra needed to make it so.....
But.....you know I guess the old adage one mans junk is another mans treasure applies.....
Seriously you need to not allow this to damage your own self esteem....because unless you are withholding 411 and not revealing something dark about yourself.....
Then what man in his right mind would not want a loving Christian wife who desires to give him a family of his own.....?
My take is regardless how much you may want to fix him .....it aint happening till he suffers severe pain and even then you will have to let go and let God.....
Because it's. going to take the pain to turn him to God because he isn't being Christian in his marital conduct.
God is a divorcee himself of course his wife was an adultrous fornicator but very few people will mention that while they beat you about the already abused brain you are suffering from with there bibles.
I am somewhat dissapointe in some of the responses I see here a wife isn't a piece of property she is a blessing from God the same as children and they all should be honored as such lest they vanish from your life in a fleeting moment!!!!
I feel compassion for you I know how tormenting and soul destroying a situation like yours can be I have had 2 non christian wives......and never again will I.....!!!!
Adultery doesn't mean anything to non christians.
I was faithful....and my adulterors divorced me so biblically I presume myself absolved from those marriages.
A Christian woman for a wife is a true treasure every man should be so lucky!!!!
Good luck....
If you have the chat app go to the prayer rooms there are good people there who will pray out loud with you over the
microphone.
I am glad some of the sweet ladies on this side gave you support!!!!
