~Chuckle for the Day~
- Thread starter Bingo
- Start date
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Some men you can’t fool, no matter how hard you try...........
The other night I was invited out for a night with the 'girls'. I told my husband that I would be
home by midnight, 'I promise!'
Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 am, a bit loaded, I
headed for home.
Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly,
realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up
with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him.
(Even when totally smashed.... 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos total 12 cuckoos = MIDNIGHT!)
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in? I told him'MIDNIGHT'... he didn't
seem mad or upset in the least.
Whew, I got away with that one!
Then he said: “ We need a new cuckoo clock!”
When I asked him why, he said: “ Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said 'oh
shit' cuckooed 4 more times,
cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped
over the coffee table and farted."
The other night I was invited out for a night with the 'girls'. I told my husband that I would be
home by midnight, 'I promise!'
Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 am, a bit loaded, I
headed for home.
Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly,
realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up
with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him.
(Even when totally smashed.... 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos total 12 cuckoos = MIDNIGHT!)
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in? I told him'MIDNIGHT'... he didn't
seem mad or upset in the least.
Whew, I got away with that one!
Then he said: “ We need a new cuckoo clock!”
When I asked him why, he said: “ Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said 'oh
shit' cuckooed 4 more times,
cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped
over the coffee table and farted."
At a Christian radio station that does news, road conditions, etc..
They received complaints about their traffic reporter.. as being "anti-religious"..
The staff was confused..
until they realized the on-air pseudonym the reporter used was "Skip Church"
They received complaints about their traffic reporter.. as being "anti-religious"..
The staff was confused..
until they realized the on-air pseudonym the reporter used was "Skip Church"
A wealthy businessman was showing his party guests his special swimming pool. He says, “If you swim one length of the pool, I will give you $10 million or half of my estate or my daughter’s hand in marriage. But there is a shark in the pool.”
Just as he finished this statement, there was a loud splash at the other end of the pool. A man swam the length of the pool and quickly got out just as the shark was about to bite him.
The businessman asked, “So, would you like the $10 million?”
“No,” the swimmer said.
“Half of my estate?”
“No,” the swimmer said.
“Ah! You want my daughter’s hand in marriage!”
“No, I want the name of the person who pushed me in.”
Just as he finished this statement, there was a loud splash at the other end of the pool. A man swam the length of the pool and quickly got out just as the shark was about to bite him.
The businessman asked, “So, would you like the $10 million?”
“No,” the swimmer said.
“Half of my estate?”
“No,” the swimmer said.
“Ah! You want my daughter’s hand in marriage!”
“No, I want the name of the person who pushed me in.”
Heh... That's like the McD's where I w*rk. (That's a four letter dirty word, you know, that W word...)
On the drive through window there's a sign that says, "Picture and braille menus available." So... who's reading this sign?
If you can read the sign, you don't need the menus. If you are either blind or illiterate and need one or the other special menu, you can't read the sign.
