can you guys post something funny please?

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A guy signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear some loose fitting clothing.

He replied 'If I had loose fitting clothing I wouldn't have signed up!' ;)
 
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming.

She says to a man next to her, “The driver just insulted me!” The man says, “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
 
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Did you hear about the agnostic insomniac who had dyslexia?

He'd lay awake at night wondering if there really was a dog...
 
A grasshopper sits down at a bar.
The bartender says, "We have a drink named after you!"
The grasshopper replies, "Who names a drink 'Steve'?"
 
This morning, as I was buttoning my shirt, a button fell off. After that, I picked up my briefcase, and the handle fell off. Then I went to open the door, and the doorknob fell off. I went to get into my car, and the door handle came off in my hand. Now I’m afraid to pee.
 
This morning, as I was buttoning my shirt, a button fell off. After that, I picked up my briefcase, and the handle fell off. Then I went to open the door, and the doorknob fell off. I went to get into my car, and the door handle came off in my hand. Now I’m afraid to pee.
Which may or may not explain the mess in your bathroom.