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This has been my "spidey sense" but I was not able to articulate the way you have. Bravo!
I dealt with this a lot!!! when I worked with a person who was diagnosed a narcissist.. all the gaslighting was beyond belief.
"walking" into a cult meeting" EXACTLY
I think what's going on with this type of behavior is that we are dealing with people to whom doctrine is really not that important; the act of knowing God is their primary concern. So doctrine is kind of for the less enlightened folk, who don't understand that the act of knowing God is salvation, and doctrine just kind of gets in the way. So when we ask a question about belief and doctrine, since the act of inwardly knowing God is a personal experience that can't be conveyed in words, and their experience is not based on conformity to the rigors of scripture, then they are unable to forthrightly communicate what it is they actually believe. So we get questions, or confused nonsensical responses, or accusations that we don't understand scripture correctly, etc..
What does scripture say knowing God is? Obeying his voice. As we do that Christ forms within us and we know the true God. Anyone can experience God's spirit, and some people think they are spiritual because they spend time and effort trying to experience the spirit of God. But without following the correct doctrine, ie, obeying his voice, they do not become conformed to the son of God and thereby do not know God, even though their experience convinces that they do.
G1108 γνῶσις gnosis (gnō'-sis) n.
1. knowing (the act).
2. (by implication) knowledge.