Advice for a lonely single

[tourist]

Im 25, and have chosen to remain a virgin until my wedding night. The only problem is, I am getting a bit impatient waiting for Mr Right to appear. It's made even more difficult that a lot of the women in my church who are the same age have already gotten married, some even have kids. It literally feels that everyone is falling in love and getting married but me. I attend a large church with so many married couples that I am beginning to feel like a shrivelled up old spinster.

To make matters worse, a non christian friend the same age as me recently texted to gloat that he has lost his virginity. I am constantly worrying that any possible love interests will find a woman in her mid/late twenties unattractive if she still has her virginity intact.

I know that God has a husband for me, that I am already promised to someone and in the same way that he has been promised to me, but all of the waiting around and feeling judged by people who have found happiness is really getting me down at the minute.

Any words of advice/encouragement during this time would be much appreciated. Thanks.

I can assure you that most single age appropriate guys would find the quality of a woman being a virgin in her mid-late twenties attractive. My counsel would be to not sit around waiting but perhaps seek someone outside of your church setting. Being single at the age of 25 would not constitute being a shriveled up spinster.

 

[Startingagain]

I am new here, I can onLy offer you some lived experience, i waiting until I was 28. And "became impatient". I look back and see that I had to learn through experience. BUt might I suggest you reflect on your beliefs very carefully, I had a deep conviction to serve our Lord and the first person I needed up with while being a decent person was not an even yolk, It ended, years wasted, I then thought I learned enough to try again, and guess what I was less in a position to pick better, I only now see that. So it was far worse than the first person.

So take it for what it is an example. While I am single again , I will not compromise this time , even yoke is the key from my experience.
If you do not have that spiritually. It will be a gamble.

May you be blessed

 

[Gladson_Joseph]

Im 25, and have chosen to remain a virgin until my wedding night. The only problem is, I am getting a bit impatient waiting for Mr Right to appear. It's made even more difficult that a lot of the women in my church who are the same age have already gotten married, some even have kids. It literally feels that everyone is falling in love and getting married but me. I attend a large church with so many married couples that I am beginning to feel like a shrivelled up old spinster.

To make matters worse, a non christian friend the same age as me recently texted to gloat that he has lost his virginity. I am constantly worrying that any possible love interests will find a woman in her mid/late twenties unattractive if she still has her virginity intact.

I know that God has a husband for me, that I am already promised to someone and in the same way that he has been promised to me, but all of the waiting around and feeling judged by people who have found happiness is really getting me down at the minute.

Any words of advice/encouragement during this time would be much appreciated. Thanks.

Beloved sister in Christ. As a fellow Christian arround your age I can understand your problem. First of all I want to make one thing clear if being a virgin untill marriage makes you look lesser in someone's view then they are not in Christ if they are not in Christ their opinion doesn't matter it's from world. Kindly keep this in mind our aim in this life with Jesus Christ is to live upto his standard and I'm pretty sure you're doing it right now. Anything that isn't from Christ or anything according to world standard shouldn't bother you because we are not called to live according to this world(Romans 12:2) since no one is perfect here except God no one can judge you for getting married late even if they do so you shouldn't be worrying about it because there's only one true judge here(James 4:12). If God makes you wait then use that time to pray for a perfect partner partner and no one ever waited for God's time regretted it(Psalm 25:3). I hope the above anwers clears all your confusions. My advise is that pray and read the word of God frequently he will give you some verses as promises just hold on to them pray with them. When you feel weak remember those verses and proclaim your faith in God with those verses. We don't call it the word of God for nothing it is literally word said by God himself it has powers and if you can believe it will work. May God give you strength untill you find your husband.

 

[cinder]

Gotta love necro newbies.

Ah well, it's part of growing up. Most of us WERE the necro newbies at one point. I know I was when I first started on a forum.

What Lynx is trying to say is that the user who started this thread hasn't been on the site for more than 2 years. Check the dates on the posts to avoid sending replies to people who are no longer around.

 

[Lanolin]

if all the people in your church are married by age 22 and you the only one left I actually think that your church is pretty small, and also why would you really care what a non-christian thinks anyway as you arent going to marry them!

I would doubt that people are actually judging your unmarried state at church.
The married people at church have enough problems as it is coordinating or navigating married life to judge you.

 

[Gojira]

I'm 57 and widowed for more than a dozen years now. Rest assured, I understand how you feel. I know what marriage and sex are like, so I know what I'm missing. My marriage was good, better than my single existence. Yet, God has chosen to keep me alone since my beloved passed away in 2009.

I feel too like I am growing older, not prettier, and less physically capable, too, if you know what I mean. I don't know how true that is, but I deal with that thought a lot. I have battled often with God about this.

However, I think for me having a mate is an idol. I may be wrong, but I think He wants to dethrone it. Could it be an idol for you? Only you know the answer, but maybe it's something to consider?

 

[herkamer63]

First off, good girl for not wanting to sell yourself off and actually waiting for marriage to sleep with another man! As a guy myself, it's hard meeting women who actually want to hold off until they know they're with a good man.

Secondly, I have friends that had bragged about how they slept with someone. Understand, though, that just because they did just that, it doesn't make them a better person nor does it make them more knowledgeable and have all of life's answers. So many people nowadays, even married couples, exhibit this kind of behavior, and they turn out to be some of the most foolish and arrogant people out there. They may already be facing problems they created and they don't want to tell anyone. They just simply mask these issues with posting pictures of their "perfect life" and play it off as if there's nothing that can stop them.

But yet they like too brag what they did in bed and/or how awesome they are. Those are clear indicators on how insecure they really are and want that validation from others. And nine times out of ten, they're non-believers or struggling with their faith. They will cling to others with similar issues and try to piggy back off each. People like me, they might be nice to but want nothing to do with in the end because those that do believe that God is with them are more secure with themselves and that scares non-believers more than what you think. They won't invite you to go out with them or to hang out, they won't acknowledge you unless if you're sitting/standing right in front of them, and if you are friends with them a lot of times they won't message you often (not saying they should, but you'd expect it to happen a little more consistently).

I've been through this and I've taken my time in my own study on the subject for several years now. At 35 years old, I've only began to come up with conclusions that I know through my own experience. And I have only been able to come up with these conclusions because I worked to improve myself, physically, mentally, and spiritually. God has worked in my life and has shown me things I didn't pay attention to at all until I made those adjustments He wanted me to make. At this moment in time, I'm currently not looking for anyone and, honestly, it feels great! I'm doing things I enjoy and I'm meeting new people as well. Focus on things you enjoy doing and be happy. I will bet if you do this, God will see this and put that husband He put aside for you in your life. Give it time, though, but it will happen. Just be patient. You got this!

 

[Gojira]

I agree with herkamer. Too many people feel like losers if they have no one. I'm 57 and still have to deal with that. Self-esteem -- not sinful pride, but a healthy view of oneself -- ought not to be based in any other human being. They're just as flawed as you.