At the inception of the U.S. any form of kingly rule was rejected. There is no wonder why it is rare to find U.S. believers who understand the order of the Kingdom. Authority is misunderstood in the church, especially the church in the U.S. We see it has "who gets to rule over whom" like it's merely a position of hierarchy.
You can get to the brass tacks of the issue by asking "Who watches over your soul and gives an account to the Father?" If they answer "No one" or "My pastor, who I don't know", etc. then there is no example of Kingdom authority in their church. This is common in U.S. churches because of the desire for independence especially independence from scrutiny. U.S. church tends to embrace a "Just me and Jesus" order of authority that creates an environment of lawlessness where each person does what is right in his or her own eyes.
Some other questions to ask are:
"Who among you may put a believer out of the church?" "How often does it happen?"
"Who among you may correct a believer, face to face, for an error in their ways?"
"How are pastors or elders chosen?" (if it's through a democratic process of selection then it is not of the kingdom)
"How are gifts within the saints recognized?" and "Are they permitted to function when you come together?"
Such questions will be offensive to a believer in an environment of lawlessness. They will be quick to throw in (out of context) all the verses that they think insulates them from giving an account to anyone. They have no context of delegated authority. Without it the apostles could not write:
"Brethren, join in following my example..."
"What do you want? Shall I come to you with a rod, or in love and a spirit of gentleness?"
"You are to imitate me, just as I imitate Christ."
"Therefore I urge you, imitate me."
"I have sent Timothy to you, who is my beloved and faithful son in the Lord, who will remind you of my ways in Christ, as I teach everywhere in every church."
"..though I might be very bold in Christ to command you what is fitting, yet for love’s sake I rather appeal to you..."
etc.