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Just make yourself at home :)

You bring my dad 200 foreskins he's probably gonna call the police on you, just saying

Biggggg hugs at the end of a long hard day count as romantic ?? Sounds good to me.

Ask him if he would accept swiftly walking around the shed 3 times ? ;) See a good Christian woman would know that its a trick ... if she agrees to run, then she has no problem with the immodest ,ahem, jiggling of her feminine bits.... therefore the only correct answer can be...to walk...

Maybe he can't answer because so many perfect Christian ladies lined up to be his slave, I mean wife , that he had to line them up and check their credentials, dental records, resumes, see how much they can lift, how fast they can run and have their fertility levels tested....all that good...

Go on... say who....

Tell a woman you need a hired hand but are too cheap to hire one so instead youre gonna marry her and force her to run laps around the barn and fetch bags of feed :) (in a skirt) she'll be thrilled !

Cant wait to see which one takes him up on it ;)

Oh, yes I know not to base anything on works of fiction.. and I didnt take your post offensive, picking a potential mate is a serious topic. This thread however is a bit of a joke in my oponion.

I tried realllll hard to to make my reply as civil as possible, yall said what I wanted to say though. :)

I thought the same about the dark inappropriate humor, that doesn't normally go hand in hand with super strict religion. I'm not gonna judge though I can't promise I'm not gonna laugh at something I shouldn't from time to time ...it's part of being human.

First piece of advice... if ya meet a woman don't tell her your inspiration was "I need a hired hand." then remembered I'm too cheap, "BUT A WIIIIFE!" While I definitely understand your post (I read the love comes softly books..I know about learning to love) , I also know women, and God...

2 strawberries, 6 blueberries, 4 cherries. Thats all this time.

You could comfort her by telling her she has a nice mustache :)

Yogurt abd fresh fruit. Want some ?

Dont have a tissue ? No problem, use your shirt!

No thank you. You called me a fruitcake..more than once.

When someone is crying and confiding in you, I mean really pouring their heart out, wait till they're finished then respond with, "huh? I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention, could you start over with that ?" Go on, try it.... it'll be fun..