The conondrum with men/ women and pursuit.

Really?? Really??? Like actually really?

I hear you, and I can definitely relate to what you are saying about pouring your whole heart into somebody else and loving hard. Yeah, I have been there, and I have done that. Always seemed to be the giver, and never the receiver. I solace myself by looking at Jesus. Nobody ever loved harder than him, and he was often rejected.

Unfortunately, we live in a fallen world. With somewhere around 8 billion people in it, you would think that it would be easy to find the right match, but mine must have fallen into a sinkhole or something. lol.

For whatever it is worth, I feel for you, and I know how tough it can be. Right now, by God's grace, I am okay being by myself, and I can truly be happy for those who have found the right someone. Who knows? Maybe my "Mrs. Right" will show up unexpectedly some day.

KNOCK! KNOCK!



Could that be her?



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AAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

You shouldn't post scary gifs like that on a Christian site.

Titanic! It's got a little bit of everything: history, romance, horror, suspense, action, drama, comedy. It's a great story!

But you should promote movies like "Titanic?"
Okay...

Anyhow, that gif was obviously meant as a joke. I am sorry if it offended you.

It didn't offend me, it scared me! lol I spook easily and I don't like seeing horror movies like that. That's all I meant.

I am sorry for misreading you. I should have asked what you meant.

No worries it's all good! I just really hate those types of movies where they show evil spirits. I don't like to get anywhere near that stuff.

Keeping things real has me on ignore, so he can't see the post you were replying to. He has no idea you were answering me.

Same here. I am actually very cautious when it comes to what I put before my eyes. It was a stupid attempt at humor on my part, and almost every one of them fails miserably. Hopefully, I will learn my lesson one day. I have gotten better at putting foolishness away, but I am not fully free from it yet. I know that you said it is okay, but I am truly sorry for misreading you.

Have a blessed night.

This warms my heart..to see Christians actually working through issues and not just running from it or getting too offended. Praise God.

Instead of a women waiting, or a man waiting.
Why don't they both do the hunting and grabbing.
Nobody sits idle, they both do it. It would work out this much more powerful and easy.
Those who ask, those who knock...
I believe that is how it should be. If you want it, then go get it.

I dont consider myself conservative christian per se.. i dont know actually what i fall into? I consider myself a charasmatic pentecostal? Or charasmatic christian? I dont know.. but the guy i did date....yes.. yes he was very conservative Baptist. CLEARLY for obvious reasons it did not work out for us.. he couldnt accept me dancing in church or singing songs other than hymns or wearing jeans versus wearing a long dress dress with sleeves.

Also, those type of men don't tend to stay unmarried for long.

..... a man is going to hold his tongue and won't attempt anything unless 1. he has spent some time near this woman and he is certain she is into him and it safe to approach.

Lurker here. With the economy as bad as it is, men nowadays usually do not have the resources to support a family until into their 30s. There is no point in attempting a romance before then as it will not result in a marriage and just be a waste of time and energy. Hence why young men are not asking women out. Men 30 and older are asking women out, just not other women 30 and older who might see those men at a Bible study. The uncomfortable truth that the Church doesn't want to talk about is that no matter how much they tout "it is what inside that counts!", attractiveness and virginity do matter to men. Men want their young beautiful wife, and they don't want another man's wife. Some men would rather pass and remain single than settle for ugly leftovers with loyalty that can never be assured. Older single women also tend to have independent or abrasive attitudes which makes them anathema.

A man also has a limited number of opportunities to ask out a woman at a Church, which is a highly visible setting, and women are gossips. Ask out a woman once and get declined, and the other women there are likely to find out, which makes approaching them difficult if they think you consider them "second best". There is also the risk that by asking out a woman in this highly public setting (intercepting her as she is walking to her car is unwise), you could be seen/overheard and get told off by the Church leadership. "We are not a matchmaking service". Evidently the Churches don't care that much about naturally replenishing their numbers and passing on their values to the next generation. For men it is very, very difficult to find and make good friends after childhood. Many true Christian Boy Scout troops that men used to meet at wound up disbanding because they were supported by Churches which couldn't expose themselves to "bake the cake" lawsuit liability, and with the alphabet brigade on the prowl throwing around lawsuit money to force societal change. So for many Christian men, a Church or Biblestudy is their avenue to find real life friends who share their values. Good Churches are also in short supply even in dense metropolitan areas in California. A man doesn't want to be cut off from that, so a man is going to hold his tongue and won't attempt anything unless 1. he has spent some time near this woman and he is certain she is into him and it safe to approach or 2. doesn't care about his standing at the place anymore (ie he is aging out of an age 20 to 30 Biblestudy) and has nothing left to lose. I know one guy who rotates between three different Bible study groups, so he has more optionality, but he has to drive far reach them and it is exhausting. Most men who come home tired after work can't be bothered to do that much driving around.

One of the neighbors home schooled their daughter in the best Christian setting and curriculum. They wanted us to marry, but I had a cultural aversion from public school that wasn't rooted in truth. She was raised right.

Men and women, especially the younger generations, are much less interested in sex, and getting married/having children. This reduces the desire to date. I also see that guys are getting more comfortable with hanging out with eachother, not as much so but like women. Also, people are more focused on themselves, not necessarily in a shallow way but working to improve themselves. I also think people get too comfortable living alone. In the past people didn't really live alone for extended times, especially women.

I disagree that they are less interested in sex. The current young adult population in general are much too interested in sex and see it as just a social recreation with no value or meaning to it. Even within many churches this general attitude seeps in.