How "Financially Set" Does One Need to Be in Order to "Qualify" for Looking for a Spouse?

If you fall in love with another Believer, get married. Be faithful to each other until death do you part. Live for God and for each other. Always respect your spouse and do right by him/her.

"Two other facets..."

Stupid speech to text.

If we're talking about where the line is drawn... How overweight can you be before you're disqualified?

Cause I just went to visit mom for half a week and there was a bathroom scale, and I haven't weighed myself in years, so I stood on it and found out I weigh (none of your business) pounds. I had that nicely under control for a few years, but then I couldn't ride a bike to w*rk no more for reasons. So I'm wondering how much further I can go before I get kicked out of the dating pool.

For that matter, how much of your free time can you waste on idle diversions before you get kicked out of the dating pool?

If someone is rich and has it all together, but wastes a lot of his time, does that put him out of bounds? He's got money and no financial problems. By some metrics that makes him prime pickins.

But being way past that stage, I'd have a hard time considering a romantic relationship with someone who wasn't financially responsible (not rich -- just responsible,) because if not, I know from past experience that eventually, it would all fall on me.

Hey Everyone,

We've talked about this before, but recent posts here in Singles made me want to bring this topic up again.

How "financially set" should someone be before "qualifying" to look for a spouse?

I know the answers are going to be wide and varied. I'm going to write a poll, but with system limitations, I'll only be able to mention a few variables, so I'm looking forward to what people have to say in their posts. For the sake of privacy, this poll is multiple choice but will NOT show your name or what you voted for -- hopefully making everyone feel comfortable enough to at least answer the poll.

From what I've observed in life, if everyone waited until they were "financially set" to do something, nothing would ever get done. If everyone waited to "have enough money" to go to college/back to school, get married, have kids -- I don't think many people would ever officially "qualify."

So how "well-off" or "well-prepared" should someone be in order to start dating?

I do feel sorry for men in this area, as it's often expected that men should pay, since they are going to be future providers -- which means they will automatically need enough money for two (even more, if the woman has kids,) when they start dating. (As a woman, I always offer to pay for myself, and if he's told me about having a long history of being used by women for money, I just pay for both of us so he hopefully won't count me out as just another woman using him as an ATM.)

I also feel that some women (not all of course, but some,) agree to dates where they might not actually be interested in the guy, but, we've all heard the phrase, "At least I got a free dinner" (which I personally feel is terribly dishonest and unfair, as it's just using someone.)

But, that's just me.

My parent's volunteer ministry is free financial counseling, helping people get out of credit card debt, etc. Over the years, they've run into people making $25,000 who learned to better manage what they had than people knocking down $400,000 -- and spending it like water. From observing this, I've come to the conclusion that I'm much more concerned about how a person handles what they do have rather than only looking at what they make, or how much they have in the bank.

If I met someone, I'd be looking at things like steady employment, personal responsibility, total debt and how it's being handled, why/whether more debt is being accumulated, and how the person budgets/plans for the future. (I currently have no debts, but have made many sacrifices to do this. For instance, I don't own a home, though I have in the past, but have found that for now, I'm more comfortable with renting rather then chaining myself to a huge mortgage for umpteen years.) However, I also know that being a renter vs. a homeowner might be a turnoff to potential dates.

What about you?

* When taking a look at your own situation, what goals/finanical milestones do you feel you need to meet before being a good match for someone else?

* When looking at someone else, what kind of "financial baselines" are you hoping they will have met/are meeting?

* What are the differences of being a man vs. being a woman? Are men automatically expected to have more/less debt/more savings because they will be seen as providers?

* How does this affect age/the dating timeline? It takes time to become financially established. How long would you expect to wait/what age would you expect people to be more financially secure? Could you hold off dating until then?

* If someone -- you or anyone else -- doesn't meet these certain "financial qulifications" -- should they just avoid dating altogether until they do?

* Or do you feel that since no one really ever "has enough" money before doing something, should you (and everyone else) should just take the plunge, whether you have any money or not, and trust God to do the rest?

I am looking forward to having an interesting and meaningful conversation!

There is a well-known psychologist who said people aren't necessarily attracted to how much money someone has, but rather to how much potential they have. And that mostly applies to young people. I think older folks just want someone who makes them feel special and isn't going to be a financial burden (at least for the foreseeable future). Of course young people want someone that makes them feel special too, but we're talking about finances.