Stuck in a rut?

If you want to know where you are in the process, see where you fit in this butchered quote of John Piper...brokenness is when you come to the realization all there is is God. Peace comes when you realize all you need is God. And joy is the result of finding all you want is God. Where are you?

His perceived value of God was vastly increased and his desire for God was compounded.
This is what God desires for us all and what He is working in you.

@Sculpt and @Snackersmom I appreciate all that you've written. But, it seems God is forcing me to choose between the kind of life I want, and Him.

Anyway, please don't waste any more time on this folks. I appreciate your time and effort. I've just got to make sure that my heart is comprised of good soil and not shallow. The fear of that is not helping, let me tell you.

If that is truly what you want then I will respect your wishes, but I do not personally consider this a waste of time.

In your posts I honestly don't see someone who is far from God, but rather someone who is coming to grips with the true meaning of discipleship. Many Christians never even get to the point where you are now.

I leave you with this verse, I hope it helps:

1 Peter 5:10 "But may the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you. "

I pray He shows you anything He wants you to see, and that your trials end soon and joy is restored. 🙏

(Also if you think I'm just gonna forget about this, you must not know many farmers..... we're a stubborn and tenacious bunch! 😬)

Well, I truly appreciate your post. Between this and your admiration for Godzilla, I'm... I'm feeling a little veklempt! Got to run!!

Oops... I think I made a mistake... I thought this was by Sculpt, who's expressed an interest in my favorite giant lizard.

I still really appreciate your post though

Speaking of... me and my friend recently watched Ghidorah, The Three-Headed Monster on archive.org recently. We were cracking up so much! We forgot how enjoyable it was. It was good company, as we always give films the MST3K treatment.

Oops... I think I made a mistake... I thought this was by Sculpt, who's expressed an interest in my favorite giant lizard.

I still really appreciate your post though

Ya can't say you appreciate a post after telling us to quit posting, that's like leaving cat food out and expecting the neighborhood's crusty-eyed possum to stop coming to your porch.

We are gonna drag you out of this hole, young man! I appreciate your willingness to accept whatever God has for you, but I don't think He wants you to spend the rest of your life miserable. In fact I'm positive He doesn't, it's a waste of too much potential.

Ya can't say you appreciate a post after telling us to quit posting, that's like leaving cat food out and expecting the neighborhood's crusty-eyed possum to stop coming to your porch.

We are gonna drag you out of this hole, young man! I appreciate your willingness to accept whatever God has for you, but I don't think He wants you to spend the rest of your life miserable. In fact I'm positive He doesn't, it's a waste of too much potential.

Oh come now. Comparing yourself to a crusty-eyed opossum are we?!? You are sweet, and I appreciate your encouragement. But, we all have to consider the idea that God's first priority for us may not be our happiness.

After all I've written brutha, where do you think?



Unfortunately, it's taking forever. I'm the rope in the tug-o-war between the two states, I've been there for some time now, and no end is in sight. Hence my original post: “To think that the remainder of my days will be about refinement / discipline is not encouraging, but makes me want to leave now.”

@Sculpt and @Snackersmom I appreciate all that you've written. But, it seems God is forcing me to choose between the kind of life I want, and Him. I'm not suicidal, and don't relish the idea of spending an eternity trying to pull hellish maggots from my body while I'm suffocating in 3,000° heat. So, I'm not choosing temporary comfort over Him and eternal life. But... I think that choosing Him now means that life is not going to be what I'd hoped it was going to be... and the simple things I dreamed about may never come. That is profoundly disheartening.

I thought that after I lost my wife, once healed, God would provide someone again. But, He never did. Instead, my grief was compounded by a very long period of unemployment. Then, I started getting regular work, work I liked, and a new apartment in a better part of Los Angeles. Its number was "8", so I thought, "new beginnings!" Am I about to recover all that I lost?

No. Idiot! And, in less than 6 years, that working situation would poof and lead to homelessness (2017).

6+ years after that, things have not changed much. That prolonged time of the crappy status quo remaining the status quo, every now and then, just makes me explode with frustration.

I am not sure taking any of the life-changing advice I've been given here is going to have any impact -- if my interpretation of events is correct. I need to be thankful for the things He has not taken (yet), and try to make the best of those. A beautiful companion? Good friends and buddies in the area? A job I really like and that is paying me well? (My field is quite capable of supplying that, so this is not unrealistic.) These may never come. I feel pressed inside to keep from saying that God's going to stomp on all of that permanently. I have no right. But, from the current trajectory, it sure looks that way.

And then, my pastor, in response to an e-mail I sent him containing similar thoughts, writes "Bottom line: the truth that you know about God and His Word will either trump your experience or your experiences will trump God & His Word. When we trust Him and the truth in His Word, we are saying, This will determine the truth about what's going on in my life, not my experience."

Not helpful. I know this. Never said I was turning my back on God. That was more or less my response.

Anyway, please don't waste any more time on this folks. I appreciate your time and effort. I've just got to make sure that my heart is comprised of good soil and not shallow. The fear of that is not helping, let me tell you.

Personally, I think you are making incredible strides. This subject would have sent you running for the hills not long ago. Now you are opening up and sharing your feelings. I think you are well on your way to peace.

I think we define "incredible strides" differently . My struggle has made me wonder if I'm even saved. I am getting nowhere, making no progress towards this apparent spiritual end. I am stuck. I am so unhappy. I just want this crap to end.

But... thanks.

I appreciate your encouragement. But, we all have to consider the idea that God's first priority for us may not be our happiness.

Just having things change isn't the point of the trial. Being ok with whatever God decides is the point.

When it doesn't matter to you what each day brings so long as it brings with it the reality of Christ in your life, you will experience both peace and joy. It's alot closer than you think.
I recognize from your vantage this is difficult to imagine. Those who have gone through it see it clearly.

And that is my point: Getting to that point is the point, and it is what I need to change. That, or the circumstances. But, something needs to give and soon.


Hmm... And that doesn't sound good either. If nothing matters except God, then how will I enjoy anything in addition to Him? This sounds almost Buddhistic, to have no desire.

You still don't get it. But you will. When God is all you want, you find Him in everything else. You are thankful for your home because He is it's source. You are thankful for relationships because He is its source. You are thankful for your food because He is its source. You find God in everything and everyone.