Stuck in a rut?

[Gojira]

are you performing the Lord's work He has for you? (Phillipians 2:13). how about praying, praising, volunteer work, assisting the elderly, being unselfish, studying the Bible? the meaning of anxiety in a Christian's life is "misplaced priorities in life". 1 of the greatest joys is assisting others. establish a daily Christian routine & stick to it placing yourself last. do all your deeds wearing a smile. blessings to you.

Ummm... I seek God every single day, without fail -- unless I have a virus.

I am trying to get involved in my church, but the wheels in this place seem to be rusty. Being persistent has gotten me no where -- so far -- too.

I am working on the praising and thanking, but that is the most difficult of all.

 

[Gojira]

Hi Gojira, I've been in a rut too. It stinks. I won't get into the details of my rut, but I can share that something that helped pull me out of it was realizing that I did have gifts and talents to use for Kingdom purposes.

It does seem like your confidence and self-worth is pretty low right now. Have you talked to anyone about what your individual gifts might be? I wish I knew you better or I would give it a shot myself.....but I did a little poking around your posts (Creepy, I know! ), and it did seem like you have a gift for making a good point clearly and succinctly, without resorting to insults or excessive snarkiness. That's actually a pretty rare and powerful gift .

Watching a guy use his talents for God is pretty darn attractive to us ladies, too..... not that you should do it for that reason...but just sayin'.

Well.. I appreciate that very much. Thank you.

Trying to use a graphical ability for church. In convo with one of the associate pastors about that. Also trying to get into a grief ministry here, but again, those aforementioned rusty wheels.

Yes, everything right now is low, including self-worth. Something needs to give and soon.

 

[Karlon]

Ummm... I seek God every single day, without fail -- unless I have a virus.

I am trying to get involved in my church, but the wheels in this place seem to be rusty. Being persistent has gotten me no where -- so far -- too.

I am working on the praising and thanking, but that is the most difficult of all.

maybe there is an ungodly element or 2 in that church. glad you have it pinpointed. find a fun fact to associate praising & thanking to.

 

[Gojira]

maybe there is an ungodly element or 2 in that church. glad you have it pinpointed. find a fun fact to associate praising & thanking to.

I am getting tired of the "we want people to serve" thing, and then when I focus on two areas in which I can offer something, I am not contacted, despite in one of these cases talking to the person in charge five times.

Here are some things I am thankful for....

* Health (yeah, clichéd, but c'mon... bad health is a QoL killer)

* I can get myself out of bed on my own power

* I can hit the gym, which stroke victims and those otherwise disabled have a harder time doing

* I have (relative) quiet where I live now, and I am roach/pest-free

* I have been saved from Hell

* I can see and hear (so I enjoy my audio system and sci-fi TV shows alike)

* I live in America, such as it has been lately

I'm sure if I gave it time, I could list more.

None of this negates my feelings of a meaningless and unfulfilling life, but without these things, my life would be noticeably worse.

 

[MsMediator]

I am getting tired of the "we want people to serve" thing, and then when I focus on two areas in which I can offer something, I am not contacted, despite in one of these cases talking to the person in charge five times.

Here are some things I am thankful for....

* Health (yeah, clichéd, but c'mon... bad health is a QoL killer)

* I can get myself out of bed on my own power

* I can hit the gym, which stroke victims and those otherwise disabled have a harder time doing

* I have (relative) quiet where I live now, and I am roach/pest-free

* I have been saved from Hell

* I can see and hear (so I enjoy my audio system and sci-fi TV shows alike)

* I live in America, such as it has been lately

I'm sure if I gave it time, I could list more.

None of this negates my feelings of a meaningless and unfulfilling life, but without these things, my life would be noticeably worse.

I once read, you have a meaningful life when you are meaningful to others.

 

[Gojira]

I once read, you have a meaningful life when you are meaningful to others.

Eh, I think we all have some purpose to fulfill. Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm not referring to some generic purpose of being nice to others, helping elderly women across the street, yada yada... but something specific to each of us.

 

[Sculpt]

I'm stuck in more than a rut. It's hard to describe, actually. I feel like I'm in a hole, and I am supposed to be there.

Back in 2006, I was content with life. I was married and work was going well. Things were kind of where I wanted them to be. Not perfect, of course, since nothing ever is. But, they were good enough.

Since 2009, things have become much more rocky, tempestuous, and unpleasant. Work is not going well. My wife died that year, and Christian women want nothing to do with me (this is not my imagination... 15 years of trying are telling me this). I have no friends or buddies here in Arizona. I want a life with meaning and purpose, but have none. I do not look forward to each new day.

I pray about this constantly, but I am greeted by silence. Not even crickets. The only semblance of an answer I may be getting is "Life sucks and is going to suck. So, hold on to Me until I bring you into glory."

To think that the remainder of my days will be about refinement / discipline is not encouraging, but makes me want to leave now.

At a buddy's advice, I wrote down what I'd like my life to be like now. Then, he recommended thinking about what it would take to have gotten there. But, some of the things I have no idea how to bring about. Other things would require schooling, and at 59yo, is it worth it?? I've prayed about this list, too, but the abject silence continues.

I just have a couple things. I'll pray for you.

One thing I can tell you is credentialed experts I've listened to universally say that, since you're going to be working the next however many years anyway, then you should absolutely do the work that's better for you, even if that includes school, apprenticeship or whatever. In the US 2024 there's a way.

The other thing is I have a resource that may be right for you. I've been thinking about doing this for a long time, so your post reminded me. Clinical Psychologist Jordan Peterson has a course called Self Authoring Suite where you're guided to write about yourself, your personal tragic events and how you feel about them, one thing you could change about yourself, how you want your life to be in 5 years, where you want to be, etc... and this helps not only heal, but helps to set you on your new course.

If interested here's a few components steps:

1. Free Personality Test: Big Five Aspects | Free Personality Test
2. This is an Intro vid to the Self Authoring Suite: Intro to SelfAuthoring - YouTube
3. Link to the Self Authoring Suite program: Self Authoring - What is Self Authoring?
4. It's only $30, but if you want there's a few vids reviews of the program, I'll just put the search list: self authoring suite review - YouTube
5. This is a longer vid of a collection of Jordan Peterson vids related to this subject: How to Use Reading and Writing to Find Your Path | EP 236 (youtube.com)

 

[MsMediator]

Eh, I think we all have some purpose to fulfill. Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm not referring to some generic purpose of being nice to others, helping elderly women across the street, yada yada... but something specific to each of us.

Can you give some examples?

 

[Snackersmom]

Well.. I appreciate that very much. Thank you.

Trying to use a graphical ability for church. In convo with one of the associate pastors about that. Also trying to get into a grief ministry here, but again, those aforementioned rusty wheels.

Yes, everything right now is low, including self-worth. Something needs to give and soon.

You are welcome .

We need to work on your self-worth and finding your place in the Kingdom though. Those rusty wheels at church sound terrible. Bless their hearts and all that.......but you, sir, are going rogue. Yup, you heard me. You've got the heart of a rebel in there, i can tell. We just need to coax it out. So.

First, ask Jesus to fill you with The Holy Spirit. Maybe ya already have. But more can't hurt. Then ya gotta ask Him to do a project with ya. It's terrifying, but it will be great I promise. Roll with the prompting, even if it's out of your comfort zone just do it. You seem like a really reasonable guy, so that might be the hardest part but it will all be worth it . Once you do a few projects with Him you'll be addicted to the awesomeness and excited to get up in the morning! 🌄 Plus when you go rogue you can circumvent those pesky rusty wheels!

OK so maybe it's not QUITE that simple... but working with God does make a big difference. Not just working FOR Him..... work WITH Him. It gives my life purpose and I highly recommend.

Very sorry about your wife too...... that must have been incredibly difficult, and you were only about 45 at the time...... I can't even imagine. I don't feel like I have adequate words to express my condolences. 😞

 

[Gojira]

I just have a couple things. I'll pray for you.

One thing I can tell you is credentialed experts I've listened to universally say that, since you're going to be working the next however many years anyway, then you should absolutely do the work that's better for you, even if that includes school, apprenticeship or whatever. In the US 2024 there's a way.

The other thing is I have a resource that may be right for you. I've been thinking about doing this for a long time, so your post reminded me. Clinical Psychologist Jordan Peterson has a course called Self Authoring Suite where you're guided to write about yourself, your personal tragic events and how you feel about them, one thing you could change about yourself, how you want your life to be in 5 years, where you want to be, etc... and this helps not only heal, but helps to set you on your new course.

If interested here's a few components steps:

1. Free Personality Test: Big Five Aspects | Free Personality Test
2. This is an Intro vid to the Self Authoring Suite: Intro to SelfAuthoring - YouTube
3. Link to the Self Authoring Suite program: Self Authoring - What is Self Authoring?
4. It's only $30, but if you want there's a few vids reviews of the program, I'll just put the search list: self authoring suite review - YouTube
5. This is a longer vid of a collection of Jordan Peterson vids related to this subject: How to Use Reading and Writing to Find Your Path | EP 236 (youtube.com)

But I always think and wonder about what God thinks about all this, what He thinks about my goals, dreams, etc. Should I even try anything like this, or try taking some courses in something? He seems to be stopping me at every turn.

 

[Gojira]

Can you give some examples?

Man... too many responses now, ha... hard to keep up.

Charlie Kirk has a clear purpose. He's one example. I can come up with more, but maybe the following quote will help:

"The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why."

 

[Gojira]

You are welcome .

We need to work on your self-worth and finding your place in the Kingdom though. Those rusty wheels at church sound terrible. Bless their hearts and all that.......but you, sir, are going rogue. Yup, you heard me. You've got the heart of a rebel in there, i can tell. We just need to coax it out. So.

First, ask Jesus to fill you with The Holy Spirit. Maybe ya already have. But more can't hurt. Then ya gotta ask Him to do a project with ya. It's terrifying, but it will be great I promise. Roll with the prompting, even if it's out of your comfort zone just do it. You seem like a really reasonable guy, so that might be the hardest part but it will all be worth it . Once you do a few projects with Him you'll be addicted to the awesomeness and excited to get up in the morning! 🌄 Plus when you go rogue you can circumvent those pesky rusty wheels!

OK so maybe it's not QUITE that simple... but working with God does make a big difference. Not just working FOR Him..... work WITH Him. It gives my life purpose and I highly recommend.

Very sorry about your wife too...... that must have been incredibly difficult, and you were only about 45 at the time...... I can't even imagine. I don't feel like I have adequate words to express my condolences. 😞

Another sweet post. I really do appreciate your encouragement.

I cannot process everything everyone's offering right now. Y'all are taking a lot of time, and I appreciate the effort. I'm going to need some time to process and digest what has been written here. I may raise a few of these items in prayer tonight also.

 

[MsMediator]

Man... too many responses now, ha... hard to keep up.

Charlie Kirk has a clear purpose. He's one example. I can come up with more, but maybe the following quote will help:

"The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why."

Ultimately, I think we are here to help eachother through/ and support eachother, and to have a relationship with Jesus. I could be wrong, but I don't think Jesus expects us to create huge impact on the world. Sometimes God calls people home early.

 

[Gojira]

Ultimately, I think we are here to help eachother through/ and support eachother, and to have a relationship with Jesus. I could be wrong, but I don't think Jesus expects us to create huge impact on the world. Sometimes God calls people home early.

That is true, but I feel a need for something more.

 

[Cameron143]

That is true, but I feel a need for something more.

The more that you are looking for won't be found in activity, but in a person. Adam and Eve lived in ideal circumstances, in an ideal place, in an ideal estate. Yet God did not neglect to walk with them each day. Why? Because even a person in the most ideal of situations was not complete apart from God. God didn't create us complete in and of ourselves. We have a built in need of God for our lives to be complete and satisfying. And this is the point and beauty of Psalm 23. When the Lord truly is our Shepherd, and only as He is, that our lives are complete and we do not lack of want.
So how do we get from the point where we are to the point where God is all satisfying to us? Believe it or not, you are already well on the way. The fact that you no longer take as much pleasure in the things of this world as you once did is a positive sign. The fact that you are looking for other things is also good. And that you still aren't satisfied is good as well because the things you have tried will never ultimately satisfy your deepest longings.
So what to do? Psalm 37:4 says that as we delight ourselves in the Lord, He will give us the desires of our hearts. This doesn't mean He provides for us our every present desire. Instead, He places within us a desire for Him.
Another thing I find helpful is to be deliberate in glorifying God in all I do; even in the mundane things of life. Ask yourself a few questions. Have you ever drank a drink or eaten a meal to the glory of God? Have you ever watch a movie or played a video game to the glory of God? Have you ever brushed your teeth to the glory of God? If not, why not?

 

[Snackersmom]

Another sweet post. I really do appreciate your encouragement.

I cannot process everything everyone's offering right now. Y'all are taking a lot of time, and I appreciate the effort. I'm going to need some time to process and digest what has been written here. I may raise a few of these items in prayer tonight also.

You're welcome. And no worries, I respect your introspection. I do have more thoughts on your situation since I have been though something similar, but I shall keep them to myself for now as I don't want to overload you. Praying for you though!

 

[Gojira]

You're welcome. And no worries, I respect your introspection. I do have more thoughts on your situation since I have been though something similar, but I shall keep them to myself for now as I don't want to overload you. Praying for you though!

Maybe I will message you later. Too much to digest right now though.

 

[Gojira]

The more that you are looking for won't be found in activity, but in a person. Adam and Eve lived in ideal circumstances, in an ideal place, in an ideal estate. Yet God did not neglect to walk with them each day. Why? Because even a person in the most ideal of situations was not complete apart from God. God didn't create us complete in and of ourselves. We have a built in need of God for our lives to be complete and satisfying. And this is the point and beauty of Psalm 23. When the Lord truly is our Shepherd, and only as He is, that our lives are complete and we do not lack of want.
So how do we get from the point where we are to the point where God is all satisfying to us? Believe it or not, you are already well on the way. The fact that you no longer take as much pleasure in the things of this world as you once did is a positive sign. The fact that you are looking for other things is also good. And that you still aren't satisfied is good as well because the things you have tried will never ultimately satisfy your deepest longings.
So what to do? Psalm 37:4 says that as we delight ourselves in the Lord, He will give us the desires of our hearts. This doesn't mean He provides for us our every present desire. Instead, He places within us a desire for Him.
Another thing I find helpful is to be deliberate in glorifying God in all I do; even in the mundane things of life. Ask yourself a few questions. Have you ever drank a drink or eaten a meal to the glory of God? Have you ever watch a movie or played a video game to the glory of God? Have you ever brushed your teeth to the glory of God? If not, why not?

The problem with this is that I have no idea why life is going the way it is... is it God trying to squeeze out all idols? If so, it is taking years with no end in sight. That is what depresses me. Is it God waiting on me to figure out what it is I need to do or how to acquire some of the things listed (purpose, wife, better job situation)? Or, am I just not saved, which would explain my my prayers are falling on deaf ears?

I do not know what's going or why this is happening. So, until God decides to enlighten me (sorry, I'm a bit perturbed by all this), I will usually pray about all three of the above possibilities: Making Him my center, finding the way(s) to acquire what I'm seeking, and/or ask Him what it is I've left undone to become right before Him (yes, I know that the work of salvation is His, but we need to have the right attitudes of repentance and belief, and since my prayers seem largely ineffective, a la James, maybe I'm not righteous in His eyes).

 

[Cameron143]

The problem with this is that I have no idea why life is going the way it is... is it God trying to squeeze out all idols? If so, it is taking years with no end in sight. That is what depresses me. Is it God waiting on me to figure out what it is I need to do or how to acquire some of the things listed (purpose, wife, better job situation)? Or, am I just not saved, which would explain my my prayers are falling on deaf ears?

I do not know what's going or why this is happening. So, until God decides to enlighten me (sorry, I'm a bit perturbed by all this), I will usually pray about all three of the above possibilities: Making Him my center, finding the way(s) to acquire what I'm seeking, and/or ask Him what it is I've left undone to become right before Him (yes, I know that the work of salvation is His, but we need to have the right attitudes of repentance and belief, and since my prayers seem largely ineffective, a la James, maybe I'm not righteous in His eyes).

I think you get it. God, having no greater thing to give than Himself, told Abraham that He would be his reward. This is what God wants to do for all His children. Unfortunately, we don't desire or value God as we should. But because God desires the best for us and because of His goodness, He cannot not do best for us. So in order to increase our desire, He let's us see how invaluable and unsatisfying everything else actually is and how much in our lives we are currently finding satisfaction in.
Consider the things in your life that you have lost. Why do they feel like such a loss? Because these are the things you found satisfaction and life in. If they weren't, their loss would have little if any effect. If I lost a pair of old sneakers, I wouldn't care at all. If I lost my lucky decoder ring, I would be heartbroken. Why? Because I valued the ring in relation to the shoes.
In life, there are things we find satisfaction and life in more than we do God. We may not want to admit it, but it's true of us all. And God will remove these things from us, not because He's angry at us, but because He wants better for us. He wants to give you Himself.
If you want to know where you are in the process, see where you fit in this butchered quote of John Piper...brokenness is when you come to the realization all there is is God. Peace comes when you realize all you need is God. And joy is the result of finding all you want is God. Where are you?
Lastly, Job 42:5 is for me the purpose of all that Job went through...I had heard of Thee with the hearing of mine ears, but now my eyes seeth Thee. Did Job actually see God? No. But we get 80% of the information sent to our brains through our eyes. 15% comes through hearing. What happened to Job was that His experience and understanding of God was multiplied to Him. His perceived value of God was vastly increased and his desire for God was compounded.
This is what God desires for us all and what He is working in you.

 

[Sculpt]

But I always think and wonder about what God thinks about all this, what He thinks about my goals, dreams, etc. Should I even try anything like this, or try taking some courses in something? He seems to be stopping me at every turn.

That's the question conscientious christians ask. There's some of us who earnestly prayed to God to tell us what to do specifically in regard to career, over a long period of time and honestly have to conclude God hasn't told us and perhaps won't. What are we going to do about that?

The Purpose Driven Life helps clarify the Kingdom attitudes. That may not necessarily be the specifics we need careerwise

The best answer I can come up with is to do the best we can... do a job/career we think is best for us. How do we do that? I think it's most likely things that match our interests and aptitudes. There are career interest and aptitude tests. I think they are worthwhile when it seems we need them.

I think sometimes we might have work we aren't crazy about, but we find things to be passionate about during off hours. I think for some it's probably best to move to work we find more worthwhile, small changes or big. It's complicated and personal. I can't think of a better solution. Have you heard of better solutions on this? I'd be interested.