What annoys me about people telling single Christians about dating

When they try to tell you what is right for you without even listening to your needs and think they are holier than you..happens a lot not just to singles. I had a miscarriage from my bf/fiancee to be and one lady in church was basically telling me to leave everyone including my family behind and go live alone just working and praying. Like I wasnt in bad enough of a shape already. I got very upset. Especially when i ended up in the hospital passing out and she then told me that she doubts my sincerity towards God because I said my Father in law picked me up (bfs dad) from the hospital. Some people totally loose their empathy through religiousness

Many people pushing the rules for Christian dating, annoy me. They have lived their lives from their 20's to their 40's, having sex before marriage They've been married 2 or 3 times and now want to tell singles to be pure and holy before the LORD by setting up limits to dating, yet they never followed those rules themselves. They tell you to control your drives, drives they never controlled themselves. I've had Christians tell me if I even think of sex I have sinned.....the whole time I'm watching them with a spouse and 3 or 4 kids.

Just a question - if I sin does that absolve your sin? Does it make your own sin something lesser?

Sin is sin, it's a crime against all that is Holy. We are called to be Holy even as Christ is Holy.

If we sin, we have an advocate in Christ - but there's a difference between walking into a situation with the express intention to sin, and accidentally falling into some sin.

You seem to desire to sin, and are seeking ways to excuse it instead of readjusting your attitude towards sin itself. We should all strive to avoid sinning.

When they try to tell you what is right for you without even listening to your needs and think they are holier than you..happens a lot not just to singles. I had a miscarriage from my bf/fiancee to be and one lady in church was basically telling me to leave everyone including my family behind and go live alone just working and praying. Like I wasnt in bad enough of a shape already. I got very upset. Especially when i ended up in the hospital passing out and she then told me that she doubts my sincerity towards God because I said my Father in law picked me up (bfs dad) from the hospital. Some people totally loose their empathy through religiousness

I would have told the woman "get thee behind me Satan" She was doing the work of Satan.

I find it interesting in 1 Corin 7 Paul never called the fornicators to repent, he tells them to get married. The church could have classes on picking a mate and the issues in marriage. But that takes work and it's so much easier to say fornication is a sin and you need to repent. Repenting will not stop the sex drive, marriage will give it a direction. That was Paul's point.

Many people pushing the rules for Christian dating, annoy me. They have lived their lives from their 20's to their 40's, having sex before marriage They've been married 2 or 3 times and now want to tell singles to be pure and holy before the LORD by setting up limits to dating, yet they never followed those rules themselves. They tell you to control your drives, drives they never controlled themselves. I've had Christians tell me if I even think of sex I have sinned.....the whole time I'm watching them with a spouse and 3 or 4 kids.

Sorry just who are you talking about? No really are you talking about people that do not believe in Jesus? I doubt they all "having sex before marriage" I Know some that do not believe and waited till they got married and do have some great advice

A couple of things.

First - when I speak, I speak from the personal space of someone who was both married and then divorced under Islam, according to Islamic law, prior to being saved.

Just a small point, but Islam is contractual marriage - not covenantal as Christianity is, and my former husband caused me lifetime disability due to physical abuse.

When I remarried to a Christian man many years later, I didn't so much as hold my husbands hand prior to marriage.

I don't see my former marriage counting against my Christian marriage, as I was unsaved. My husband is a widower. His wife died of cancer many years before I met him.

So when I give advice that's where I'm coming from.

As far as encouraging youth toward marriage, I think most people do but the youth's have to meet the right person first. You can't advice anyone to marry the first person who says yes - that would lead to a poor choice if "yes" becomes the main criteria.

You have to be realistic, and give advice according to the individuals situation without exceeding the boundaries our Lord has given us.

My stepson married at 18, but they had to have tons of family support to succeed in the marriage - but they both had supportive families that could help them early on. Now they are doing great financially and otherwise.

Not everyone has the above support systems, but in many Christian homes they exist.

If you want to make a change in your local church concerning groups for the unmarried youth there - speak to the elders and see what you can do together as a church. Instead of complaining about x,y,z be the change you want to see there - just make sure to they are clear as to what your proposing.