Sinning by NOT having Sex?

Animal? How about a normal man. For a lot of men, desiring sex doesn't depend on whether she wants it at that exact second. And in some marriages if both had to strongly desire sex at the exact same time, they would almost never have sex.

If you read the title, the thread isn't about getting your spouse to have sex with you, but having sex with your spouse. Sinning by not having sex is about turning your partner down, not your partner turning you down.

Back to the implicit accusation against men who want sex when their wives don't that they are animals, that's degrading to an awful lot of normal men who just have a regular sex drive. There are plenty of wives... and husbands also.... who could be better in this aspect of marriage if they would be willing to have sex when their partner wants it. Some women desire it after they have been 'warmed up' through some affection, and if they open themselves up, they can enjoy it. And there are probably plenty of men like that. I hear it's about 80% of men who want sex more than their wives and 20% of women who want sex more than their husbands. And things might shift with age. Few have exact same desire, and probably almost no couple have husband and wife with the exact same amount of desire for it at all times.



I am sorry your wife had these difficulties. A husband who loves his wife would have to be patient about these things. Many woman... and men... who have not had the same trauma in their lives can be selfish about meeting their partner's needs.

A lot of us use 'have sex' in a way that is not exclusive of 'making love.' We aren't wooing women in the forum, so there is no need for the overly lovey-dovey language unless you just want to use it. We are talking about sexual intercourse.

Anyway, the focus of the thread is the idea that one can sin by defrauding one's partner, not how to extract more sex out of the other partner. Be that as it may, having one's marriage partner meet one's sexual needs can be helpful in that it can lessen temptation. Also 'two shall be one flesh' is a mystery that speaks of Christ and the church. That is one mystery some folks may which to frequently experientially meditate on in their marriage.



I think you are being awfully judgmental. Do you think of sex in marriage as some kind of sort of evil carnal thing? Maybe I missed a post, but I did not see anyone coming down on the side of marital rape. Did someone post on how one should demand sex here that I didn't see?



Since you desired sex when she did not, did that make you an animal?

No. You may not use force. You may seek marriage counseling from your pastor.

Marital rape is not specifically mentioned in the Bible; however that doesn't mean it is allowed. Some issues are not specifically mentioned in the Bible.

We do know that the Bible frowns on rape. A commandment that husbands love their wives, would not include rape. A marital rape also does not reflect the relationship between Christ and Church.

I don't have all the answers, but I do not believe marital rape is the answer. If a husband is found in this situation, best course of action is to pray and the wife may come around. We know that wives are constantly told to pray for their husbands if they husband is wayward, an alcoholic, etc., and sometimes these issues do not get resolved for decades but the husband may eventually come around.

can't it be a sin to not have sex?

He's constantly falsely accused of crimes by the atheist homosexual crowd. They get first place by the Goober search engine while his channels have been deleted. When someone brings up such accusations of crimes or outrages, you have to consider the source.
I just got done with dinner and decided to listen to one of his latest sermons. The topic of forcing sex, or rape is a big part of the sermon. I like to check source materials whenever possible, rather than railing accusations from Christ hating homos. I'm not saying you or Andrew believe it, but it's more than common that is likely where that gossip originated. Decide for yourself.

https://www.kjv1611only.com/video/02preaching/Sermons_Pastor_Anderson/Absalom_Part_1.mp4

He's constantly falsely accused of crimes by the atheist homosexual crowd. They get first place by the Goober search engine while his channels have been deleted. When someone brings up such accusations of crimes or outrages, you have to consider the source.
I just got done with dinner and decided to listen to one of his latest sermons. The topic of forcing sex, or rape is a big part of the sermon. I like to check source materials whenever possible, rather than railing accusations from Christ hating homos. I'm not saying you or Andrew believe it, but it's more than common that is likely where that gossip originated. Decide for yourself.

https://www.kjv1611only.com/video/02preaching/Sermons_Pastor_Anderson/Absalom_Part_1.mp4

Thats actually a very good message

Glad you listened.
I recalled the thread here and thought that it might be fitting for the subject when he was singled out to us.

I was reminded of some important things that I wish I heard as a teenager too. I let a crime a neighbor committed against my family members make me regretful for over a decade. I regretted having not seen justice against a very evil man, wishing I had been allowed to do something. I didn't let it go to God, the Just One.

Did he seem to be clear about the issue of rape/ "forced" sex in this message?

Marital rape is not specifically mentioned in the Bible; however that doesn't mean it is allowed. Some issues are not specifically mentioned in the Bible.

We do know that the Bible frowns on rape. A commandment that husbands love their wives, would not include rape. A marital rape also does not reflect the relationship between Christ and Church.

I don't have all the answers, but I do not believe marital rape is the answer. If a husband is found in this situation, best course of action is to pray and the wife may come around. We know that wives are constantly told to pray for their husbands if they husband is wayward, an alcoholic, etc., and sometimes these issues do not get resolved for decades but the husband may eventually come around.

Back to the implicit accusation against men who want sex when their wives don't that they are animals, that's degrading to an awful lot of normal men who just have a regular sex drive. There are plenty of wives... and husbands also.... who could be better in this aspect of marriage if they would be willing to have sex when their partner wants it. Some women desire it after they have been 'warmed up' through some affection, and if they open themselves up, they can enjoy it. And there are probably plenty of men like that. I hear it's about 80% of men who want sex more than their wives and 20% of women who want sex more than their husbands. And things might shift with age. Few have exact same desire, and probably almost no couple have husband and wife with the exact same amount of desire for it at all times.

Sure, but I never thought that he advocated any such behavior. Usually any pastor who preaches on the hard messages and is tough on sin is gonna be accused of all kinds of stuff. People will pick one phrase out of a message and twist it to fit thier agenda.
This message has a good multiple message, one dont commit evil acts, and two dont let the evil of others turn you evil., and also dont keep sly folks as company.
This very thing is how evil multiplies, and ruins so many. Ever hear the phrase,"hurt people, hurt people"?

Now days, I pray that God protect His from evil, and that he drive evil folks by what ever means to repentance. By kindness or harshness it dont matter. What ever brings one to repentance.

I wonder if the reason you think someone would post on this topic is because of sex life issues is because of your own personal issues and you like to project onto others. My own wife doesn't read forums like this so your rather rude personal assumptions as to my motives make little sense.

My wife and I have been married for over 20 years, our first and only marriage for both of us, both virgins at marriage. From surveys I've looked at, I think we have higher than average sexual frequency.

This issue is a problem in a lot of marriages apparently, and it is a Biblical topic. I do not think I have heard a sermon IRL that addresses the topic. A lot of Christians are not taught it.

I read a comment on one of the forums here by a single person about doing something really bad, like having sex. It makes sense for a single person to think that. But for married folks, can't it be a sin to not have sex?

I Corinthians 7

3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.

4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.

5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
(ESV)

I probably could have worded that better. I apologise. I did pray about it. We can agree to disagree.

Thats actually a very good message