Let the pun wars begin

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J

Jase

Well-known member
#861
Jun 9, 2021
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63
#861
I accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles...

Now I'm experiencing constant vowel movements...

and the next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster! 😂
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#862
Aug 13, 2014
27,183
9,265
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#862
I've heard it said of someone very upset that he was pooping bricks over the issue that got him upset. I guess you're pooping tiles over it.

Our dog ate a whole bag of foil wrapped milk chocolate easter eggs. Now he poops sparkles. He seems to be perfectly fine otherwise.
 
J

Jase

Well-known member
#863
Jun 9, 2021
775
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63
#863
Doctor , my cousin says he feels like a pack of cards...

Tell him I'll deal with him later.
 
J

Jase

Well-known member
#864
Jun 9, 2021
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63
#864
A guy was leaning over his lawn mower sweating.."like the Dickens"...

He was going through a rough patch!
 
shittim

shittim

Senior Member
#865
Dec 16, 2016
13,749
7,751
113
#865
I tried to come up with a carpentry pun that woodwork. I think I nailed it, but nobody saw it. –
 
J

Jase

Well-known member
#866
Jun 9, 2021
775
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#866
Did you hear about the guy who's whole left side was cut off?

He's all right now! 🤗
 
J

Jase

Well-known member
#867
Jun 9, 2021
775
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63
#867
A guy was thrown out of the local park after arranging the squirrels by height..

The park rangers didn like him critter sizing! 😂
 
J

Jase

Well-known member
#868
Jun 9, 2021
775
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63
#868
I'm starting to tell everyone the benefits of eating dried grapes...

It's all about raisin awareness. 🤗
 
J

Jase

Well-known member
#870
Jun 9, 2021
775
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63
#870
Garden gnomes are required by the head gnome to wear little red hats!

It's a little gnome fact! 🤗
 
J

Jase

Well-known member
#871
Jun 9, 2021
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#871
Think about it.. 🤔

If a bear 🐻 put on 🧦 socks...he'd still have bear feet! 😂
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#872
Aug 13, 2014
27,183
9,265
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#872
The question is, could he still catch you if he was wearing socks? That is THE single only question worth asking about bears. Can they catch you or not?
 
J

Jase

Well-known member
#873
Jun 9, 2021
775
444
63
#873
Lynx said:
The question is, could he still catch you if he was wearing socks? That is THE single only question worth asking about bears. Can they catch you or not?
Click to expand...
Maybe...bear-ly! 🤭
 
J

Jase

Well-known member
#874
Jun 9, 2021
775
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63
#874
Why is the person who invests all a person's money called a " Btoker"? 🤔
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#875
Aug 13, 2014
27,183
9,265
113
#875
Jase said:
Why is the person who invests all a person's money called a " Btoker"? 🤔
Click to expand...
A keen observation ruined by a typo. Ah well.

Maybe they call him a broker for the same reason a doctor calls his business a practice.
 
J

Jase

Well-known member
#876
Jun 9, 2021
775
444
63
#876
Lynx said:
A keen observation ruined by a typo. Ah well.

Maybe they call him a broker for the same reason a doctor calls his business a practice.
Click to expand...
Lynx said:
A keen observation ruined by a typo. Ah well.

Maybe they call him a broker for the same reason a doctor calls his business a practice.
Click to expand...
Good one & Keen eye....Thought I checked..whoops! 🤭
 
J

Jase

Well-known member
#877
Jun 9, 2021
775
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63
#877
Why is it so difficult for a. Leopard 🐆 to hide?....because he's always spotted! 😊
 
J

Jase

Well-known member
#878
Jun 9, 2021
775
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63
#878
Why did the cyclop stop teaching? 🤔

Because, he only had one pupil. 🤗


O.K...O.k..that was a 5th grade joke. 😂
 
J

Jase

Well-known member
#879
Jun 9, 2021
775
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63
#879
Why did the EMTs travel in sets of two?

They wanted to be Pair-a-medics! 😊
 
J

Jase

Well-known member
#880
Jun 9, 2021
775
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#880
When my spirit feels weak,

I turn to the 4th book of the Bible...

After all, there's strength in Numbers!
 
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