Thank you for sharing. One day you will see just how powerful the blood of Christ is to cleanse away your sin. It's wonderful freedom to to wake up and realise that God has wiped your sins, not matter how many and how bad, from your record. The word Tedeleski, translated "it is finished", was used to indicate that a debt had been paid in full. You are free now, not to use freedom as license to sin but to walk in the new life that Jesus gives you through the power of the resurrection.
As you consecrate your life to Christ, accepting His Lordship, He will lead and guide you. He will also empower you to do what He asks of you. You know that life can be tough. Satan hates to lose those who were his slaves, so you will need to stay close to Jesus. Don't worry, He has been to hell and back and nothing is too hard for Him. Just don't try and work it out yourself.
I used to be pretty good at English. It was the only school subject that interested me. Your account is as good or better than most from that point of view. And what you have to say is more important than how you say it.
At first I didn't understand what on earth was going on, then God lead me to a book called 'The Warning' by Christine Watkins. At first I was a bit dubious but then I got listening to the testimonies in it. I've come to understand that what I've experienced is a real thing. It's happened to many Christians who have walked away or have been lukewarm in their faith have been given this incredible act of grace. And it IS the most amazing act of grace. We've been shown the true nature of our lives and how Jesus would judge us. Normally you'd have to die and wait for judgement Day, by which time it's far too late change. Jesus didn't have to say much to me. I was fully aware of how bad my life was. He showed me I wasn't wrong when I used to joke with people 'I'm going to hell' instead he just had to ask me one simple question - if I was with him. Which I knew meant 'will you follow me?' Just seeing him in my room was enough to know that even though I'd written myself off decades ago, he was still willing to forgive and offer another chance.
Yes it is painful. It's meant to be. Every single one of us that has experienced it has been a terrible sinner, or a member of the clergy who was on the wrong path. Jesus had shown us what we're doing to offend him and he's purging us of that sin.
And I do feel peace. I know I'm on the right path now and I'm actually grateful for the pain I feel because on the deepest level I know God is going through my all the garbage of my life and taking out the trash bit by bit.
So, for all you reading this, no hypergrace is not a thing. Every sin you commit before AND after you are saved weighs on your soul. God will forgive your transgressions throughout your life BUT you must a) Repent little thing you do wrong regularly (at least weekly) and then you must atone for your sins. This world has become v soooo corrupt with sin that even Christians are not fully aware of what sin is anymore. Something as simple as unkind words can devastate a person and it can send them down the wrong path. As humans we're all connected and God wants us to remember this.
He wants us to love one another and help each other when we fall. And PASSING JUDGEMENT ON YOUR FALLEN BROTHERS AND SISTERS HELPS NOBODY. God expects us to help them back on their feet and show them the love of Christ that resides within you.
Just because a person doesn't change then and there in front of you and come to the Lord doesn't mean your effort was wasted. God plays the long game and he changes people gently. He plants a seed and sometimes it takes a while to germinate.
"3And he told them many things in parables, saying: “Listen! A sower went out to sow. 4And as he sowed, some seeds fell on the path, and the birds came and ate them up. 5Other seeds fell on rocky ground, where they did not have much soil, and they sprang up quickly, since they had no depth of soil. 6But when the sun rose, they were scorched; and since they had no root, they withered away. 7Other seeds fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked them. 8Other seeds fell on good soil and brought forth grain, some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty. 9Let anyone with ears listen!”
As you can see from Matthew 13 everyone you witness to will yield a different result. But we must pray pray pray for those who are not walking with Jesus. For many the weeds of doubt and temptation really do choke out the seed of the word. But we must never give up. Ever. Even on gay people.
