Unequal house chores

The only solution here is to hire someone to help with chores...and to take your wife on a nice little vacation. A change of scenery will perk her up maybe 🤷🏾‍♀️.

what a dog?! isnt that MORE work lol

Your household aounds a bit crazy but Im sure yu are clever and will figure something out. To me it just seems like you are complaining a bit much. Its not THAT big a deal to hang the laundry out. Women do it all the time, why then does it have to to be a horribly big thing for a man to do??

If she wants to mow the lawns in exchange cos it takes about the same amount of time, then swap jobs. Maybe she wants to get outside in the fresh air, sometimes outside jobs are good for those stuck inside all day.

I’m not trying to complain please don’t misunderstand. We’re talking about not only laundry and routine tasks but things that are also greatly unsanitary and a detriment to the families health

I clean the dried blood off the toilet seat cause she don’t care she will just continue to sit on it and ignore it.She lets her menstrual pads sit and ripen in the bathroom trash I counted about 3 cycles and the trash overfills. She will leave the toilet paper roll empty and not refill it.

Do you know of women who refuse to clean up their own menstrual blood off the toilet seat? That is what I’m talking about. Not just once but time and time again I clean the dried blood off the toilet seat cause she don’t care she will just continue to sit on it and ignore it.She lets her menstrual pads sit and ripen in the bathroom trash I counted about 3 cycles and the trash overfills.

Ok obviously this is a secondary issue to my other post and that one is taking my focus at the moment. With all due respect . It’s not just the laundry. I have no problem doing a few tasks in the house including laundry, vacuuming, sweeping, mopping . I used to be a custodian and did it professionally so no it doesn’t bother me to help where needed . In fact I find laundry kinda relaxing after working 9hr days, 5 days a week in the heat of a 95F mechanic shop but when I’m doing 90% of this home cleaning and chores after my work hours , week after week, year after year, I’m weary lol. Not angry, not annoyed. I’m just tired and when I wrote this post originally I was not in a good place mentally. This is a hundred other maybe small insignificant things that just seem to pile up and cause bigger problems. I’m not trying to complain please don’t misunderstand. We’re talking about not only laundry and routine tasks but things that are also greatly unsanitary and a detriment to the families health. I’m surprised we didn’t get rats and other pests the last month to be honest cause she doesn’t scrape her plates/pots/ pans .To the sink they get thrown food scraps and all. And there it collects day after day after day if I let it. Do you know of women who refuse to clean up their own menstrual blood off the toilet seat? That is what I’m talking about. Not just once but time and time again I clean the dried blood off the toilet seat cause she don’t care she will just continue to sit on it and ignore it.She lets her menstrual pads sit and ripen in the bathroom trash I counted about 3 cycles and the trash overfills. She will leave the toilet paper roll empty and not refill it. I could go on though I’d rather not. I really don’t feel I’m making this to be bigger than it is cause it didn’t use to be this way and if using a pet dog as some means of a motivation to get others to contribute more as odd as it may sound to some I’m willing to try it. Worst case I pick up a just little more mess. And I have a little pal to help alleviate my anxiety about this( Miniature dog) not a full size by any means.

This is disgusting but may not be too uncommon (I have had a couple of roommates (slob types) like this who are not careful with their menstrual blood, or do not roll their pad in toilet paper before throwing it away in the trash (so it eventually opens)). I have one example where the girl changed her pad in the dorm room instead of the bathroom, throwing the pad away in the dorm room. If I were you I would take it up the next level, such as not flushing, etc.

Wow you certainly do have a lot on your plate.

Even if you got hired help, that would be a tough job for any one to clean.

So what do you plan on doing?

Thanks but I don’t think going tit for tat is the answer. I have a 5 year old who has to be reminded to flush so I think we have that one covered! 😆 It’s just out of Character for her. I know I didn’t marry a slob. In fact while we were dating she told me she was allegedly OCD. I’m just trying to be resilient in the face of adversity and get my head wrapped around this. I’m sure I’m no angel either as far as cleanliness goes due in part to my profession but something is out of balance from where we were as a couple to now and I’m spinning my wheels on how to confront this in a conversation without the theatrics. Im more than willing to confront her about it but I’ve got to understand what I’m possibly up against so I can go into this conversation ready to engage a logical conversation.

I think the best option is to be a minimalist. Also, if you have two bathrooms maybe you can each have your own bathroom. Also, each responsible for your own laundry. Push her messiness to her side of the room.

I work in a library, and classes come in, and their teacher will often at the end say it time to tidy up the library and everything is done in a minute.

at lunchtime however, it can be chaos because, the bell goes for eating time, and the children have to go straight there and often dont have time to tidy. They just drop everything and go. some children are diligent and stay behind missing out on some of their eating time to help me tidy. I give them stickers for doing this.

I just give them reminders -tidy up, clean up when I hear the bell and its a simple instruction, cushions away, pens away, books on the shelf.

when I was away for a week sick I came back and the library was abit of a mess. It took me about an hour to put it right again. Now if NOBODY had come in and used it, it would of course always be perfect lol.

Fortunately I have school,cleaners who vacuum the carpets after school. I give them rewards too cos I know they have the whole school to clean and not much time to do it.

You and your wife may find this video helpful. One tip Lori Alexander gives in this video is being thankful for things like dirty dishes and dirty laundry. Perhaps a change in perspective will do the both of you some good.

Ok ladies, wives. I have a question. It’s going to be kind of an odd one coming from a man (I know) just hear me out. I have this weird situation happening in my home I’m trying to wrap my head around and I’m asking for wisdom on how I should approach this delicately as the husband so please be patient with me as I try to explain this situation cause I want to reasonably resolve this the best way possible . The backstory is This all started when my wife got into her later stages of pregnancy with our son 5 years ago. Prior to that I believe we had shared the house chores fairly evenly. As she got further along in her pregnancy I volunteered to take more of the burden of cleaning thinking things would at some point return to normal. 5 years later I’m still doing the majority of the house cleaning save for a load of laundry or two which I still have to normally finish for her or it just sits and mildew s in the washer or sits in the laundry basket. We both work full time but she has summers off and yet still nothing gets substantially done until I come home and just start cleaning. I’m not a clean freak to my knowledge. I like thing’s presentable and orderly but I’m not going to expect the faucets to be shined or anything like that. I have pictures I can share to those curious about what she obviously ignores and will walk by a dozen times without lifting a finger to clean it. Warning that they are gross and won’t share unless you absolutely want to see.

I was curious this time and left some things dirty just to see how long it would take. It’s been over a month of no cleaning except dishes etc and the house was so filthy I couldn’t take it anymore when I got home and didn’t say a word and just started cleaning. I’m really concerned at what’s going on. It’s not like we have 3 other kiddos making mess at the same time faster than it can be cleaned. A 5 year old boy is all. She is working on an online master’s degree but is two weeks ahead in her classes yet will still rather sit in her office and continue the classwork rather than observing that maybe the trash is overflowing and falling out of the trash can kind of chores or light cleaning. My son didn’t even want to sit at the kitchen table cause of all the crunchy crumbs and mess left so it hit me a bit hard tonight as she is at Golf league. I once tried to bring this up to her about chores a year ago but It ended in disaster cause I evidently lack the proper way to approach and say things gently ,cause it just caused arguments, she gets defensive immediately and it ruined the entire week for everyone and nothing changed .the “How dare You even mention it I’m a mom and student” kinda stuff. But yet she also gets angry if I come home and start cleaning on my own. 🤷‍♂️I’m a father and a husband at his witts end with this. What am I to do? I have no issue coming home and picking up a broom or doing dishes after supper but when I’m doing 90% of the weekly cleaning and am the only one to lift a finger on the heavy cleaning and actually following through till the job is done kinda cleaning then there has to be a problem somewhere. Open to suggestions and any Christian wisdom. Thanks.