wishing for death

This is the peace I have:
The Divine is not petty; therefore it does not care if you pursue it or not. It IS. Whether you are worshiping it or not. It is not dependent on it. Your free will is ACTUALLY free will. Not the fear based "Choose me or Burn".
Therefore I do not really care that I don't know what happens when I die.

Since giving this religion up and looking into others, I have come to see the exaggeration and false things we were taught. "christians are the only persecuted people" - no - actually every religion is persecuted if they are a minority. The reason Christians are ALWAYS persecuted everywhere is because they cannot coexist without preaching and trying to convert people. Never satisfied to show respect and dignity to other cultures and beliefs. The fact that I believed I could "compleely" know something as unfathomable as the mystery of spiritality and life after death is so arrogant and I blush admitting that I subscribed to it.

I don’t understand why people receive fear instilling teaching when God is all about the prince of peace. He loves us so much and we all are the ones that twist things up.

I would never see anyone damned because I try to see everyone how God sees us. I will say He gives us free will to make choices that gives us consequences good and bad. Eternity is a long time... much much more than on earth. I don’t say this to make anyone fearful, but in hopes to embrace love, peace, and security in Christ. He did all the work, all we have to do is accept it and try to live for Him.

1 John 4:18
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

God is love and is perfect... He drives out fear.

@Heart_Melody

I want to comment to say that your understanding of the Scriptures regarding rape is incorrect (as is that of many people, unfortunately). God does not condone rape at all, in fact rape was punishable by death. Please read the below (it's not a long read):
From: https://www.livingwaters.com/does-the-bible-say-a-rape-victim-must-marry-her-rapist/

While the Bible doesn’t say, “Thou shalt not rape” in the Ten Commandments, it is summed up in the essence of the moral Law, which says to love your neighbor as yourself. Love does not rape.

Hebrew criminal law considered rape such a serious crime that rapists were to be put to death:

Yet there are some who believe that the Scriptures say that the victim of the rapist had to marry him. He wasn’t to be punished, but to be rewarded with the woman as his prize. Here is the verse used to justify that belief:

Unbelievably, (in the light of the previous verse saying that a rapist was to be put to death) a number of modern translations interpret “lay hold on her” as rape.

The Hebrew word “tapas” means to “take hold of something,” to grasp it in hand, and (by application) to capture or seize something.

In Genesis 4:21, it used for “handling” the flute.

If a man raped a woman, he was to be put to death. Killed. That means he is dead (no longer alive), and a dead man can’t marry the woman he raped. He can’t marry her because he’s dead.

So for those who can figure out that dead men don’t marry women, coupled with the fact that the verse says “if THEY be found,” implying both were guilty, this verse obviously refers to consensual sex.

It’s similar to what we nowadays call a “shotgun” wedding. They had to get married.

__


There is a similar misunderstanding about slavery described in the Bible, and many people don't understand it the way it's meant to be understood -- it requires actual studying of the Scriptures and the cultural context, not just "plain reading". (I actually looked into it myself because I was confused and wanted to know the truth about the matter, just like with the "rape" verses.)

I suggest this article (it's long but it's quite exhaustive) if you or anyone else ever wants to read about it: https://emergencenj.org/blog/2019/01/04/does-the-bible-condone-slavery
(Though I know you most likely won't, which is OK, perhaps one day you'll come back to this and read about it)

Lastly, we do need the Holy Spirit to understand the Scriptures and to know God's nature. It is not a bunch of bologna and it's not arrogant to say so. The Word of God says so and there are many, many people who can attest to the truth of this:

1 Corinthians 2:10-14
But God has revealed them to us through His Spirit. For the Spirit searches all things, yes, the deep things of God. For what man knows the things of a man except the spirit of the man which is in him? Even so no one knows the things of God except the Spirit of God. Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we might know the things that have been freely given to us by God.

These things we also speak, not in words which man’s wisdom teaches but which the Holy Spirit teaches, comparing spiritual things with spiritual. But the natural man does not receive the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; nor can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned.

__

May the Father's will be done in your life in Jesus' name. May He lead you back to Him so you can finally meet Him for real and experience the love He has for you.
Take care of yourself!

I did not realize that everyone was still commenting on this post.
I happened to realize it as I was just curious to see if there were any messages on here I should respond to.

What about when you find out that Heaven and Hell do exist, and that it is not about empty religion but it’s about a real relationship shop with the Saviour who loves you and gave Himself for you? XX

Well on an update note - I got much much worse that when I first had sent this message.
I saw my physician and he recognized that I needed to see his Counselor - We speak about once a month now.
Not long after meeting her I decided that Christianity just is not the way for me to go any longer.

And since I have left this behind I have been happier and more at peace than I can remember. I do thank you all for your encouraging messages. For reaching out and sharing your wisdom and experiences and I do really hope that they will help people. It looks like many people have read through the thread and been reminded either of one thing or another thing.


I have a hard time coming to grips with the fact that I spent so many years on a religion/practice that brought me so little joy - based on a fear instilling teaching. But I mean, fretting is also not smart, because I would just waste even more time that I could have spent following and practicing something that I belong to.


Realizing that this somehow makes me damned in all your eyes, I have to say - I am also okay with that. I do not want to waste this life being miserable and then find out that Hell and Heaven never even existed. What a waste of time, for me.
But naturally if this is your path - if it truly delights you to do your devotions, to defend the bible and the things you believe in, then that does make me happy for you. It just isn't for me.


So thanks once more for kindness here - I did not want to disappear without telling you how thankful I truly am for the time you all took to speak a prayer, to write a note or message to me and to encourage me at a time when I was so low.


Love,
HM

No I was a Wiccan most my life before being inroduced to this faith by a family I had no chance knowing. And wouldn't have unless I converted to christianity. Bu in the end they only would like me if I jumped at their bidding no matter how miserable I was.

So I will do what makes me happy And go back to who I was always meant to be. I have learned a lot during practicing this religion - I will take the good I learned and apply it in my life- but let go of all the heart break and abuse I endured at the hand of many christian organizations and work places.

I am confident enough now to be who I am meant to be instead of who I think my family wanted me to be I think- confident that if they will love me, they can love me for who I am - and if not -then I am not loosing anything, don't you agree?Same with god really.

Deuteronomy 22:28-29 states: If a man is caught in the act of raping a young woman who is not engaged, he must pay fifty pieces of silver to her father. Then he must marry the young woman because he violated her, and he will never be allowed to divorce her - In the same passage it also states that in some cases the woman must be stones because she clearly didn't scream enough - implying I am guessing that she must have enjoyed herself.

Deuteronomy 22:28-29 states: If a man is caught in the act of raping a young woman who is not engaged, he must pay fifty pieces of silver to her father. Then he must marry the young woman because he violated her, and he will never be allowed to divorce her - In the same passage it also states that in some cases the woman must be stones because she clearly didn't scream enough - implying I am guessing that she must have enjoyed herself.

Deuteronomy 22:28-29 states: If a man is caught in the act of raping a young woman who is not engaged, he must pay fifty pieces of silver to her father. Then he must marry the young woman because he violated her, and he will never be allowed to divorce her - In the same passage it also states that in some cases the woman must be stones because she clearly didn't scream enough - implying I am guessing that she must have enjoyed herself.

I think she left already I can see that there is a word "guest" under her username...but there is a possibility that she'll come back and will read all of the responses here...one day....🕗


The best thing we could do is pray for God's continued favor and for God's light to shine on her way and that one day God would bring her back.... 😇🙏🏼

Please Take care @Hear_Melody God bless you ❤

I saw this video in my feed and thought of you OP.
Edit: I just read the previous comments...well even if she's not a member maybe she'll still see this video.