YOU PHARISEE!

I never realized being a perfect Pharisee was such hard work! I'm going back to being the humble know-it-all theologian with a heart of gold.

WOMAN, DON'T MAKE ME PUT ON MY PERFECT, KING-OF-THE-PHARISEES MANTLE!!!

Did you know that I’m an IRL Pharisee? When I see people sinning I address them immediately so they can learn from my around the clock godly behavior. I think it’s safe to say that billions of sinners have learned from me.

Haha

LISTEN HERE, WOMAN!!! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO KEEP SILENT IN MY PRESENCE!!! AND BRING ME COOKIES AND CANDY!!!! HAVEN'T YOU READ MY BOOK ON THE DUTIES OF THE LOWLY WOMAN!!!! I HAVEN'T WRITTEN IT YET-BUT THAT'S NO EXCUSE!!!!!

Oh yeah, sorry, I completely forgot that I’m a woman and supposed to keep still. I’ll go get some candy for you. Would there be anything else, your highness? Or may I retreat to the stove now?

LOL

Sure it is! The Bible tells us to not grow weary in well doing. And we could really throw down with all the verses talking about laziness and sloth.

By the way, I smite all y'all for not reading the thread rules. You're supposed to use a bible reference (preferably out of context) to justify each smite. I hereby claim all of you are the fools Proverbs spoke so much about.

I smite thee all with a cross-platform smite that runs on any computer system. Gotta love FOSS. And if that doesn't work I'll smite thee all with a smite running on a Linux kernel that can run on any hardware, including a wristwatch. Yeah they made a Linux wristwatch, years ago. Smartwatches are already behind the times.

And don't forget, in all that cross-platform smiting, to use a Bible reference.

Hmmm...interesting...

Sighs, one of those threads I can't possibly contribute....

Yeah, you're too little to be a Pharisee!

See? EXACTLY!

If only....Apart from that...not sure if I can come up with something funny....with a Bible reference...I don't want to state anything disrespectful...or am i being solemn?

Don't ask me. I'm on Pharisee probation for not following the rules!

Didymous, Didymous, Didymous... The test is to see if you can argue your way out of probation by using scripture out of context. And you need to do it in a way that disparages and belittles somebody else.

Try something about where the rules were broken and it was okay and right that they were broken.

If that's not a big enough hint, I'll give you another: "Sabbath was made for man..."

Now listen here, Mr. How-to-be-a-Pharisitical Expert:

1. You have the name of a cat, which everyone knows is forbidden, because felines are the favored companions of witches. (No, I don't have a passage for that, but I HAVE heard that theory a few times before, so surely it must be true.)

2. Rules? Whatcha talkin' about rules, Willis? What are you, some kind of legalist???

Seriously -- DON'T YOU KNOW THAT WE HAVE FREEDOM IN CHRIST???

2 Corinthians 3:17 -- "Where the Spirit of the Lord is, THERE IS FREEDOM."

Sha-zam, your puny thread rules have now been OFFICIALLY Biblically smited!

Not to mention Colossians 2:21-23 -- "Do not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!" These rules, which have to do with things that are all destined to perish with use, are based on merely human commands and teachings. Such regulations indeed have an appearance of wisdom, with their self-imposed worship, their false humility and harsh treatments of the body, but they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence.


I know that following rules that are given by a feline about how and how not to post in a thread is not specifically listed, but I'm pretty sure this passage is more than enough to stand up to any demands of following your numerous legalistic rules that are obviously infringing upon my Christian freedom (to be an utter smart aleck -- well, in this thread, at least.)

Wow.

Thank goodness I updated my app to the "Take Your Smite... To A New Height" version.

I would have never been able to think of these things on my own.

Your height-challenged response is clearly a result of using Shuhite Smite Lite. And don't bother getting short-tempered with me... 'cuz lonsuffering is a fruit of the Spirit.

You got something against short people Dino? Am I going to have to bust out Zacchaeus on you?

And Seoulsearch, about your freedom, the Bible specifically says to not use your freedom for selfish reasons. So there, you selfish hypocrite!

I just love hypocrites, they are so unknowingly honest.

I just got done listening to my favorite band, Hillsmite.

I forgot to mention that I’m a hypocrite myself too, but I guess you have already figured that out lol.