What Things About a Dating Profile/PM Would Make You Want to Reply?

I get the feeling that if Lynx were ever bothered to create a dating profile, it would be a collage of comics and song lyrics.

In this “cyber age”, with online dating and flirting, can’t you employ old school tactics? I’m not looking for a mate but if I was, the last thing I would be looking for is someone addicted to the internet and social media. My profile would be elusive, including a picture not close enough to count laughlines doing something I enjoy doing. Instead of saying I liked camping with friends, I would put a picture of me and some couples around a campfire, with an empty chair. Caption stating, “saved you a spot”. As well, I would apologize ahead of time for not getting back to them very soon because Im probably out walking my dog on the beach, on vacation, hanging with my kids or at the gym and I don’t spend a lot of time on the computer. Then I wouldn’t respond until at least after they responded to me.

Tactic: Appear interesting, then play hard to get. It’s been the way people have been baiting the marriage trap for centuries.

As much as we think we are looking for a soulmate, we are actually looking for a lifemate. We desire a life we want, and we hope to find a mate to give it to us. Chances are if you are really as interesting as your profile...you are taken, or lying to yourself.

...But I still occasionally check my car for explosives before I drive away. Better safe than sorry y'know.

As long as no one tells you that I disguised them all as bars of fancy schmancy dark chocolate, I think I can get away with it...

Er, I mean, I think it's all good.

Hi Hungry!

You make some really good points here that I should clarify a little bit further.

I am by no means saying that "old school tactics" shouldn't be employed--I was just talking about online dating sites as one of the general options. I've pretty much followed all the dating advice that's been given over the years, but I'm one of those strange people who still believes online venues can be a viable option.

I found your statement, "Chances are, if you really are as interesting as your profile... you are taken, or lying to yourself", to be interesting. I can certainly see how many people might assume this.

I've been an active participant of written communication all my life. It started out with writing to pen pals when I was a kid, so I have been writing, and then sometimes later meeting people in person since I was a tween, and that was long before the internet was available to just Google/background check anyone I was writing. This is also why my posts tend to be quite long, because I'm used to writing letters and not 2-word abbreviated texts (which my friends all tease me about!)

When the online world became available, I saw it as an extension of what I was already used to, and have found it to be an invaluable tool for making friends--and maybe someday, "true love".

I know different things work for different people, but the past several years, the online world has been my lifeline for making friends since I was always working, had odd hours, and only seemed to meet people whose only real-life interest in talking was if it gave them a chance to take a break from work. The minute I would ask if they'd like to meet for lunch or any other type of social event (even at church), they'd look at me as if I'd planted a bomb in their car.

(I realize though that it might just be something about me!)

I don't know if I could claim to be interesting or if I'm just fooling myself , but the best thing about the friends I've made online is that we were all far away from each other to begin with, so whenever my life, situation, job, or hours changes, the friends I've made online are still there, and we still talk regularly.

Hmm.

And now Demi has me thinking that a profile picture with a pile of wrapped, uneaten chocolate bars and a note saying, "These are all for you"... just might get a lot of attention.

Of course, the next (and most pressing) questions would be which brands and what kind of chocolate.

I've been an active participant of written communication all my life. It started out with writing to pen pals when I was a kid, so I have been writing, and then sometimes later meeting people in person since I was a tween, and that was long before the internet was available to just Google/background check anyone I was writing. This is also why my posts tend to be quite long, because I'm used to writing letters and not 2-word abbreviated texts (which my friends all tease me about!)

As far as PM's went, I had some things in my profile that were seen as highly undesirable (the fact that I was divorced, for example) and cut way down on the number of contacts I received, which I understood. However, if I did receive a reply, I have to confess that I was always a bit disheartened by cookie cutter PM's that were obviously cut, pasted, and sent out to hundreds of other candidates as well. I never used to answer those, but then I read several posts by men who expressed their frustration at the fact that they might send out 200 hundred messages and never even receive a single reply. I guess I have mixed feelings about that, because on one hand, who has time to write 200 hand-crafted, individualized messages, but on the other hand, who wants to feel like fish caught in a dragnet that's been hauled across the bottom of an ocean of other profiles?