what if someone is angry at you? be angry back at them
to be angry with them, would imply self-hatred, and I hope it doesn't lead to physically hitting yourself in the presence of someone who is angry at you
what we are asking is to refine our understanding, since wisdom is necessary
Romans 12 talks about anger, too.
15 Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.
16 Be of the same mind one toward another. Mind not high things, but condescend to men of low estate. Be not wise in your own conceits.
17 Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men.
18 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.
19 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.
We are not to recompense evil for evil, and we can let the Lord take vengence.