Women: To date or not to date

[Nautilus]

Why is this even a question?

Well lets start with a variety of reasons

1. There are no christian women you are attracted to in your area.
2. You find you have more in common with a non-religious woman, where as with the religious woman the only thing in common is literally being a christian.
3. To build off of number one, you dont even know any christian women in your area
4. You aren't terrified of unbelievers and are a strong enough person to not let them affect your faith
5. After having dated both you realize that long-term it seems like the unbeliever and yourself are far more compatible in almost all other ways leading to marriage.

 

[iTOREtheSKY]

I could never collect Precious Moments figurines or collector's plates. I need the space for my katanas and gun racks

YOU ARE THE BOMB GIRL! lol (well,I'm not so into guns,but the Katana rack...that's just perfection) Now which guy will be the first to use the line on Jullianna..."You had me at katana" lol ???

 

[Liamson]

In my home town* we have a bunch of Singles Ministries. Everyone knows everyone and people have pretty much the same expectations.

I know its not the same everywhere else but IMHT* the attitude is to GO and have fun and live life, THEN when the time is right settle down and make babies. *Facepalm*

People organize Dance parties and big outings to movies and group stuff. It feels very artificial and pushed. "So I saw you talking to Dorothy." *wink* *wink* *nudge nudge* It would be like if we organized an Online game night here in the Singles Forum for the purpose of getting to know each other more.

Most of these Christians are just using church as a vehicle for finding a husband. In Bible Studies, Missions, and outreaches these women have nothing to contribute. They grew up in the Church and yet somehow they are stunted and fixated on Marriage.


I don't want to be involved with someone who is so fixated on Marriage and Having Children that their life is regulated by biological urges. I'm kind of a Feminist that way.




I worked for World Relief for a bit and there was a Jewish Woman there that was Smart and caring and had a strong Prayer life, was service oriented and was always open to talking about God and Jesus and since we dealt with Iraqi refugees, Mohammed too.

Just because someone wasn't raised in the church doesn't mean that they are Automatically undateable Gentiles on the path to destruction.

 

[Nautilus]

as a sidenote my area also just doesnt have a lot of christian women my age and the ones that are tend to be in the more extreme side of speaking in tongues, being slain in the spirit and all that.

 

[stone8]

I have dated both Christian and non christian ppl..and although both were great relationships when it comes down to it if you are unequally yoked it affects your relationship with each other and especially you relationship with the Lord. That one is the most important, and so need to be patient and hope that find a match who is a christian. It doesnt have to necessarily be in a church although might be nice...as long as the person is a believer wherever you find them is what counts...and in the long run is a great benefit..sadly waiting is no fun but thats why God gave us friends to go have a blast with

 

[arwen83]

I have dated both Christian and non christian ppl..and although both were great relationships when it comes down to it if you are unequally yoked it affects your relationship with each other and especially you relationship with the Lord. That one is the most important, and so need to be patient and hope that find a match who is a christian. It doesnt have to necessarily be in a church although might be nice...as long as the person is a believer wherever you find them is what counts...and in the long run is a great benefit..sadly waiting is no fun but thats why God gave us friends to go have a blast with

I like your positivity! And welcome to CC!

 

[violakat]

The Bible states that as believers, we are not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers A lot of people don't believe this is referring to marriage but only to dating. My question is this then, are you dating just to date or are you dating someone you believe could be a potential marriage partner? If the answer is the former, then maybe dating a non-Christian is a non-issue. However, if you are dating someone who is a potential marriage partner, why do you want to put yourself in a position were it comes between choosing God or the person you love? To me that is going to cause heart ache and quite possibly cause you to go on a downward spiral, as the non-Christian is more likely to pull you away from God.

 

[stone8]

I like your positivity! And welcome to CC!

Thanks I try my best..and sometimes it is nice to be single and loving the Lord one on one time with him can give such growth and knowledge...

 

[creationist74]

First of all. A man who hates women and who is in Jesus Christ has to change his attitude. There is no doubt about it. The same is true for women who hate men.

Whether a man should date a woman, there is no rule for a man. Only sex is within marriage. For my part, I have had a good friendship to a girl for six years and I reckon it very much.

 

[Sophie93]

Like most people have said, I wouldn't dream of dating a non Christian again simply because, no matter how much we have in common, if we do not share that same interest for God our saviour then it will never work (previous relationships can prove this) I much rather wait for Him to lead me to a good church oriented man even if it takes a very long time than to waste my time dating an outsider (not that I have anything against you)

 

[Searching4Truth]

Convert yourself a wife? That's not how it works!

Yeah... But it was fun entertaining a bad idea.

 

[Powemm]

Liamson I can relate to what you're saying .. When I hear the word " dating" it makes me want to shake the residue off right away .. There's a pressure to " perform" with that label and we'll.. I don't want that label stuck on me .. "Friendship" is the key to a solid foundation and seems to be skipped over a Lot .. If there's a good friendship with a foundation of trust , communication , support and dependability , fellowship. And vulnerability opened up ... And just simply "Being", Then that's great and that can be built upon .... But the label of "dating" just seem to make it mandatory that you do it....friendships are good for me right now .. Most don't wan to
Put their patient hats on to see if there even is one .. Most of the time its
(me man, you woman and before ya know it, here comes
Bam Bam..)
To say "hey let's date" not for me .. To say hey there's a great fellowship tonight let's go check it out .. I'm
All in .. It's gotta have a foundations and a solid one first .. That being said "believer only for
Me, I gotta be able to talk about God..

 

[Shouryu]

The Bible states that as believers, we are not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers A lot of people don't believe this is referring to marriage but only to dating.

Yeah, I've wondered about that, too. I don't know if this is specifically the case, but I wonder if believers who do this are reading I Cor 7 and interpreting it incorrectly. Paul wasn't giving permission for the believers in Corinth to go out and find unbelieving spouses; he was speaking to the church members who were ALREADY married to unbelievers. In other words, married people who had found Christ AFTER they had married, and their spouses had not yet accepted Christ. It's a relevant directive today, because that sort of thing still happens. But again, I wonder if some people misinterpret it, or purposefully twist it to their own use. "Well, I know she's not a Christian, but I am, and Paul says that since we're of one flesh, she is consecrated through me." Just...completely missing the point. >_<

To me that is going to cause heart ache and quite possibly cause you to go on a downward spiral, as the non-Christian is more likely to pull you away from God.

And it's not like there was a HUGE example of why this is a bad idea in Isreal's history.

Oh wait, YES THERE WAS: Solomon. You'd think people would read up on Solomon, and say, "Hey, this was one of the Lord's most anointed children, and when HE married a pagan wife, everything went to garbage." But perhaps in our own arrogance, we say, "Oh, well, that was Solomon. I can totally make this work."

 

[wisebeardman]

Me personally I gave up on the idea of ever having someone when i was about 16.

Now about what I believe, only way that changes when I am shown logical reasons to change those.

 

[Donkeyfish07]

Non-believers is all I've dated (Not out of preference, just never met a cute believer I was interested in that lived near me). My relationships tend to be short (6 months to 1 year) and intense, I've never been engaged or got really serious with anybody though. I asked around about the whole non-believer thing awhile back, every Christian I talked to that got serious with a non-believer......never worked out.

 

[Deby]

i feel i will have to go on a date with an unbeliever and try to convert them.Now if we don't want to date unbelievers who the converts them to be Christians?I feel we have the right to go out there and convert our husbands and wive you know.

 

[Tintin]

If we don't date unbelievers, who converts them to become Christians? Friends, family, strangers - through the Holy Spirit. You don't have to be in a romantic relationship to bring someone to Christ.

 

[Jullianna]

If, as a christian, I found that I had more in common with unbelievers than believers, regardless of gender, it would be a red flag to me.

 

[Meshullam]

I'm going to go a step further and say I'd easily marry a buddhist, a hindu, a muslim, or an atheist if they were a compassionate and loyal person and saw no issue with it, the same way that I do.

 

[Jullianna]

I'm going to go a step further and say I'd easily marry a buddhist, a hindu, a muslim, or an atheist if they were a compassionate and loyal person and saw no issue with it, the same way that I do.

Are you a christian? Would it not trouble you to know that your wife did not know Christ and would be lost if something happened to her? Do you plan to have children? What would you teach them?