1. We are not responsible for the actions of others and don’t need to punish decent people for the unlikely behavior of the indecent.
2. We are not responsible for others irresponsibility. Part of being a responsible adult is setting and maintaining healthy boundaries.
3. Politely explain the purpose and that adulty is not promoted here. Who would allow their spouse to take part in a single mingle?
4. Be adults and ask the rest to sit at the
You'd think it would be as easy as asking people to be adults and then expecting them to actually be adults, but unfortunately, it's never that easy.
As mentioned, CC used to have live chats for several years. In the time I've been here, I've known several women who unfortunately, picked up stalkers.
One young woman was being stalked by a guy who regularly showed up in chat to talk about the Bible. He was very musically inclined and would often sing worship songs in chat while playing an instrument. On the surface, he was the perfect Christian gentleman -- behind closed doors, he was an extremely lonely soul who became obsessed with a Christian woman -- and he couldn't take no for an answer.
She eventually had to go to the police, and I was told she was granted a restraining order -- I don't know what went on that was severe enough for her to get one.
And that's just one story -- I've known several others, though less severe. Not long ago, I had at least 5 women come to me about a man who was all Bible teachings in the forums -- then was using those same passages to try to spiritually manipulate and bend the many women he was PM'ing to his own will behind closed doors. And whether he left or was banned, he'd keep coming back under different names. He never seems to leave and I wouldn't be surprised if he's here now.
And I'm sure this happens to men as well -- I know one man personally who has had a few ladies here who went after him rather aggressively -- but as a women, more women tell me their stories. It's certainly not the site's fault -- I think they do as much as they can to protect people -- but there were always be some who slip through the cracks.
Over the years, we often have people complaining that someone was banned for "no reason" -- and sometimes it's people who put up some of the most Godly, spiritually-sounding, Scripturally-laden posts on the forum. But sometimes these people are trying to send and solicit explicit pictures/content when they get to know someone here and lure them off site.
And back in the days when they had the live chat rooms, I was there one night when the moderator came in and made each person in the Singles room publicly state that they were single -- because the mod explained that they were having problems with marrieds coming in, claiming to be single, and looking for either a side piece or flat-out replacement for the spouses they already had.
Do you let such a person carry on as if nothing is going on and "trust them to be an adult?" No, because they're just going to come back to your group, looking for more victims. Most who do the things I'm describing don't even believe they're doing anything wrong -- rather, they think Satan is working against them through everyone else and you'll never convince them otherwise because they believe that are God's misunderstood lone wolf.
For whatever reason, I've always been the kind of person that people have come to about things going on behind the scenes.
The Bible says we are responsible for what we know -- and when I know something wrong is going on, it can be a heck of a situation.
You have to respect people's privacy, and yet, you might have to somehow out or ban someone the rest of the community will never believe is doing what they're doing. Half the people will hate you for what you do; the other half will hate you for what you don't do.
In one case, someone really wanted me to go to the mods here but I told them, if it's not happening to me directly, it's just gossip, and I have no personal proof. Therefore, I encouraged that person to go to the mods on their own, and to bring receipts (be willing to share the emails in which it was happening.)
Maybe it's different for others but whenever I've tried to start anything, these are always the types of problems I run into.
I've had it happen too many times to not try to be at least somewhat prepared.
