If all things have been settled beforehand, the idea that one has the ability to do otherwise is dishonest.
As well, the very nature one has drives desires which are also determined for us.
Thinking on it some more, you have revealed the absurdity of Calvinism/TULIP/Reformed doctrine.
Calvinism is an inconsistent doctrine and theology. If Calvinism is true, Romans 9 would be “O man, who are you to reply against God? You’re the man who has been eternally decreed to reply against God. How dare you do what God ordained you to do from eternity? Oh, and by the way, you are going to be rebuked and eternally punished for doing what you were eternally determined and decreed to do”—all while Calvinism teaches and believes God is righteous, holy, loving and just. Can’t have both ways.
Some more thoughts…are the elect already elected before the foundation of the world? Are they saved before the foundation of the world? That would mean total depravity is false for the elect, but they are having the elect to be totally depraved at birth all while being the elect!!
And if two parents who have be cleansed by the blood Christ…are they still totally depraved or did the blood of Christ wash that away? And if not, why not? Is the blood not able to wash away any and all that has been repented of? And how does one repent of a sin that they did not commit (such as inherited Adam’s sin, per Calvinism?) If the blood of Christ did cleanse the parents of from being totally depraved, then is their children still born totally depraved? If they are, then was Adam’s sin that their parents “inherited” not cleansed by the blood of Jesus? If it was cleansed, then why are their children born “totally depraved”? Especially if their parents are the elect from the foundation?
So, they are left with two options:
Either 1) The blood of Christ is not sufficient to be able to wash away and take away “inherited sin” or 2) The false teaching of total depravity/inability is not consistent, because as parents who are regenerated and the elect, Adam’s sin should no longer be passed to their children.