Is it OK to feel lonely?

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Jun 19, 2025
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#1
Most of the time I truly love being single, but today just isn't one of those days. I am sure these feelings will pass, but for now I feel ashamed and embarrassed. I feel like I'm letting Jesus down by not being content right now. Sometimes I would just love a big hug from a man who loves me in that special way.

From a Biblical perspective, are these feelings OK?
 

TabinRivCA

Well-known member
Oct 23, 2018
13,751
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#2
Those feelings you're talking about are why most people get married in the first place😊 It's perfectly normal to desire a spouse and get married. God knows your heart so you never have to feel ashamed about this, it's a worthy desire. Idk what area you're in, I happen to be in a well-populated area with many churches around. If you can, get involved with local church groups and esp their small groups that are co-ed😂 God does want us to have the desires of our heart so I would pray Mk 11:24 'Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours'. This is Jesus talking and you have to believe Him that all things are possible, if you believe and doubt not. I always say ' you don't have anything to lose so go for it', lol.
 

CarriePie

Well-known member
Jan 7, 2024
2,543
1,690
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#3
Most of the time I truly love being single, but today just isn't one of those days. I am sure these feelings will pass, but for now I feel ashamed and embarrassed. I feel like I'm letting Jesus down by not being content right now. Sometimes I would just love a big hug from a man who loves me in that special way.

From a Biblical perspective, are these feelings OK?

Not only okay, but I'd say those feelings are very normal!!
 

Suze

Well-known member
Mar 14, 2025
474
268
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#4
Most of the time I truly love being single, but today just isn't one of those days. I am sure these feelings will pass, but for now I feel ashamed and embarrassed. I feel like I'm letting Jesus down by not being content right now. Sometimes I would just love a big hug from a man who loves me in that special way.

From a Biblical perspective, are these feelings OK?
Of course it is ! U r human and God created men and women to b together in love . I was single on and off for many years , out of choice and then after I was baptized and I didn't mind one bit . Loved my freedom and lack of responsibility , not having to consider anyone else etc . I never ever thought I would get married . When u meet that special someone , the one whom u r prepared to sacrifice your freedom for , u will know but maybe not straight away . Don't rush into anything , take time to get to know someone as a friend first . I didn't meet my hubby until I was 34 . Have patience and trust in God , He is perfect in His understanding and in His timing , He never gets it wrong , only we humans do that 😆 . One tip , don't allow your lonliness to overwhelm u to the point where u may end up making a bad choice , I know a few people who ended up in bad relationships because they were so lonely they latched on to the first person who showed interest in them , don't do that ! God will provide , just b cool and enjoy your freedom while u still have it and maybe widen your circle of girl friends if u need a bit more company . U always have us on here 😜
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
29,201
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#5
Most of the time I truly love being single, but today just isn't one of those days. I am sure these feelings will pass, but for now I feel ashamed and embarrassed. I feel like I'm letting Jesus down by not being content right now. Sometimes I would just love a big hug from a man who loves me in that special way.

From a Biblical perspective, are these feelings OK?
Howdy and welcome to the forum.

Everyone feels lonely sometimes, even people who are married to a good, loving spouse. (Ask me how I, a single guy, know about that.) What you do about it is what matters. How you choose to act on a feeling of loneliness will ultimately determine whether you are happy with life or not... At least in the matter of being lonely.
 
Sep 17, 2016
9,017
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#6
Most of the time I truly love being single, but today just isn't one of those days. I am sure these feelings will pass, but for now I feel ashamed and embarrassed. I feel like I'm letting Jesus down by not being content right now. Sometimes I would just love a big hug from a man who loves me in that special way.

From a Biblical perspective, are these feelings OK?
Loneliness is a human emotion and the symptom of an inner need for human closeness.


Genesis 2:18
English Standard Version

18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”

God didn't create us to be alone. He said it wasn't good for Adam to be alone and that he needed another that was fit for him. Fit also means to complete. Sure some make vows to singleness and that is between them and God but the human is hardwired for connection.

It is kind of amazing how God designed humans to respond to human connections. From the eyes to see, the nose to smell, the ears to hear, the oxytocin to encourage closeness, the brain signals to enjoy a hug, and all the other bodily functions that encourage humans to love. Really amazing at God's design.

It has even been shown that married couples live longer lives. From Genesis 2 God created family, then came community, then nations, and then in Acts He created the body of the Church.

Being alone was never of God's design but also never commanded by God to marry. Singleness isn't a sin and Paul a single man even says if you don't burn with passion, it is better to be single (context: Paul was implying that his singleness allowed him to operate as an evangelist without the extra work of maintaining a marriage.)

But he then says if one burns with passion that it constantly tempts to sin or reaches the level of sin, then it is best to marry.

Other than that, singleness itself isn't a sin.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
29,201
10,575
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#8
Or... OR... It could just be boredom. Sometimes the two get confused. Both ways, actually - people can be lonely and think they are bored, and people can think they are bored and really be lonely. The first leads to turning up the volume on your activities until it drowns out your feelings and the second usually results in a lot of romances and tears.
 

CarriePie

Well-known member
Jan 7, 2024
2,543
1,690
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#9
Personally, I feel that being bored and wanting to be embraced (as the op mentioned) are two vastly different feelings. There really isn't any activities/hobbies that will entirely drown out that longing.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
29,201
10,575
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#10
Personally, I feel that being bored and wanting to be embraced (as the op mentioned) are two vastly different feelings. There really isn't any activities/hobbies that will entirely drown out that longing.
Yeah, my post wasn't really so much about the first post as it was about some of the replies. Some of them sounded like they could be either loneliness or boredom.
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
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#11
Is it ok to feel lonely?

Yes
Better to be honest about how one is truly feeling than attempting to cover it up with some placebo.

@AutumnBreeze getting involved in some support community may help.

Helping those worse off than you will increase your gratitude quotient :D