I am having a difficult time understanding my family, especially this Christmas. I don't have a large family, just me and my younger sister. And I can't get my head around her actions. I love her of course. I believe she loves her parents, but I don't see her showing it. And it upsets me on behalf of my parents.
This Christmas season was a difficult one. There were three hospital visits, two were stays. Before Christmas they thought my father had a heart attack and had to rush him to the hospital. He was there till mid-night but they let him go and said he was ok. Then two weeks before Christmas, my mother took a severe reaction to BP meds and we rushed her to the hospital twice. We were blessed to have them both healthy enough to have Christmas day together, my husband, myself and my parents. The first time my mother was rushed to the hospital in the middle of the night I called my sister and she acted like she was annoyed that I had woken her up, so the second time I didn't bother. Later the next day I called her from the hospital and she was angry because I had posted Mom was in the hospital on FB and I was asking for prayers and a friend of hers saw it and asked what was wrong and my sister didn't know. I wasn't in the mood to be told off so I made some excuse and hung up. A little later my father stepped out of the room to call her and came back so fast that I said " that didn't take long". He shook his head and said she said that she should have been contacted. Now I was getting angry. My father has been told he has early dementia. And my sister well knows that the stress of Mom being sick was hard enough on him. It really irked me.
As I said, we had a quiet Christmas Day together, just the four of us. I assumed that my sister and my nephews would visit later in the week, or the next. So my mother called me about two weeks later to inform me that my sister was coming with my nephew and his first gf. Now I know I'm old fashioned here, and I have nothing against the young girl, she was really sweet, but I didn't feel it was the time or place. They came late in the day and stayed only a couple hours and I felt it was my sisters excuse to be able to not have to stay overnight. She gave Mom a pair of gloves and a blanket she made for her, she handed my father 50 bucks.
Here we are in January and this is my great nephews first Christmas. It meant a lot to my parents. I caught my mother crying because she wanted to see the baby on video and talk to him. She called and he was sleeping and they said they would call back. They didn't and when she called, five people ignored her call. That upset me, that and the fact that my nephew, also knowing his grandparents have been ill hasn't brought the baby up to visit even though my mother has asked when they can come. So I said on FB that my mother missed the baby with a picture of him. My niece in law told me off and let me know that she felt we were making them feel guilty. Now we have done a lot to bring her into the family. My sister can't stand the sight of her and just now is accepting the baby who she has claimed is not her grandchild. We helped she and my nephew out a lot, and she said she felt like it was bribing. Now she's not a Christian so I held my tongue, but I feel like my sisters influence is rubbing off on her.
All of this upsets me for my parents sake. We could have lost either one of them before Christmas. I wanted them to have the greatest Christmas. I decorated their house inside and out. I bought all the gifts and wrapped them. I made the Christmas meal. I wanted it all to be special for them. Not that I don't do that every year, but Mom can usually do some of her own decorating. This year I did it all while having to do my place and then the hospital stays in the middle of all of it. I'd do 100x because I was so happy they were still here. But my sister never calls, she never answers Moms calls or texts, yet swears that she does. If they see her three times a year it's a miracle. My sister doesn't work. There is no good reason she can't be in touch. I just want to shake her sometimes. I know it hurts my parents but they have given up on her excuses of why she can't call or come up. Now my nephews seem to be treating my parents the same way. I know this is a lot and it's more of a rant than asking what to do. I've swallowed this all down because I don't want drama or my parents upset. But I really am about to have a come to Jesus moment with all of them. I do not understand why they can't make time for my parents. My sister has already named things she expects to have when my parents pass. One is my mothers fur coat. She is going to be one surprised little lady the day her parents pass cause we are definitely having a come to Jesus then.
This Christmas season was a difficult one. There were three hospital visits, two were stays. Before Christmas they thought my father had a heart attack and had to rush him to the hospital. He was there till mid-night but they let him go and said he was ok. Then two weeks before Christmas, my mother took a severe reaction to BP meds and we rushed her to the hospital twice. We were blessed to have them both healthy enough to have Christmas day together, my husband, myself and my parents. The first time my mother was rushed to the hospital in the middle of the night I called my sister and she acted like she was annoyed that I had woken her up, so the second time I didn't bother. Later the next day I called her from the hospital and she was angry because I had posted Mom was in the hospital on FB and I was asking for prayers and a friend of hers saw it and asked what was wrong and my sister didn't know. I wasn't in the mood to be told off so I made some excuse and hung up. A little later my father stepped out of the room to call her and came back so fast that I said " that didn't take long". He shook his head and said she said that she should have been contacted. Now I was getting angry. My father has been told he has early dementia. And my sister well knows that the stress of Mom being sick was hard enough on him. It really irked me.
As I said, we had a quiet Christmas Day together, just the four of us. I assumed that my sister and my nephews would visit later in the week, or the next. So my mother called me about two weeks later to inform me that my sister was coming with my nephew and his first gf. Now I know I'm old fashioned here, and I have nothing against the young girl, she was really sweet, but I didn't feel it was the time or place. They came late in the day and stayed only a couple hours and I felt it was my sisters excuse to be able to not have to stay overnight. She gave Mom a pair of gloves and a blanket she made for her, she handed my father 50 bucks.
Here we are in January and this is my great nephews first Christmas. It meant a lot to my parents. I caught my mother crying because she wanted to see the baby on video and talk to him. She called and he was sleeping and they said they would call back. They didn't and when she called, five people ignored her call. That upset me, that and the fact that my nephew, also knowing his grandparents have been ill hasn't brought the baby up to visit even though my mother has asked when they can come. So I said on FB that my mother missed the baby with a picture of him. My niece in law told me off and let me know that she felt we were making them feel guilty. Now we have done a lot to bring her into the family. My sister can't stand the sight of her and just now is accepting the baby who she has claimed is not her grandchild. We helped she and my nephew out a lot, and she said she felt like it was bribing. Now she's not a Christian so I held my tongue, but I feel like my sisters influence is rubbing off on her.
All of this upsets me for my parents sake. We could have lost either one of them before Christmas. I wanted them to have the greatest Christmas. I decorated their house inside and out. I bought all the gifts and wrapped them. I made the Christmas meal. I wanted it all to be special for them. Not that I don't do that every year, but Mom can usually do some of her own decorating. This year I did it all while having to do my place and then the hospital stays in the middle of all of it. I'd do 100x because I was so happy they were still here. But my sister never calls, she never answers Moms calls or texts, yet swears that she does. If they see her three times a year it's a miracle. My sister doesn't work. There is no good reason she can't be in touch. I just want to shake her sometimes. I know it hurts my parents but they have given up on her excuses of why she can't call or come up. Now my nephews seem to be treating my parents the same way. I know this is a lot and it's more of a rant than asking what to do. I've swallowed this all down because I don't want drama or my parents upset. But I really am about to have a come to Jesus moment with all of them. I do not understand why they can't make time for my parents. My sister has already named things she expects to have when my parents pass. One is my mothers fur coat. She is going to be one surprised little lady the day her parents pass cause we are definitely having a come to Jesus then.
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