Before I reveal this little magic word, I need to preface it by explaining the different thought processes between men and women.
Women think about several things at once, which can be construed as a major understatement. For example, you may see an attractive woman vacuuming her car at a car wash. Her thought process looks something like this:
"There are a lot of crumbs in my car, probably that guy eating potato chips in here... How annoying... Ohh man I haven't planned dinner yet, I wonder what I'm going to have... Oh no, I was supposed to call Mom, have to do that later... Have to pick up a present for my sister's wedding, I still got time but I don't know what to get her still... I wish these vacuums worked better... There's a guy over there staring at me, I hope he's not some sort of axe murderer... I wonder what the weather is going to be like tomorrow... I've got nothing to wear for work. Ohh man I've gotta do laundry...
And on and on it goes.
Now, let's look at what the typical guy thinks about when he's at the car wash:
“Oh, my car looks so awesome after running it through the wash! Time to vacuum it. OK, I'm gonna divide this up into 4 sections: driver side, rear passenger, right side passenger, and front passenger sections. If I want to get this done in 10 minutes or less, I'm gonna have to spend 2.5 minutes per section. So, I’m setting my mental timer now. OK, that's two minutes and 20 seconds for the driver’s area. Let's see if I can keep it going. OK, two minutes for the rear passenger and I took a little longer on the other side, but that's no problem. I can probably make up some time at the front passenger side. Yes! I did it in under 10 minutes. That's a new record!
Wow, that’s a pretty woman vacuuming her car next to me. I don't think I could ever get her to go out with me. She's just so pretty. She has blonde hair. My sister has blonde hair but she’s not nearly as pretty as this lady. Wow, I wonder if she notices me staring at her.
Okay, time to make a hasty exit! Putting on my seatbelt, checking the rear-view mirror, backup camera, check, putting in reverse, and ensuring I have the radio really loud. Ooh, ooh! I love this song! The boys are back in town, Yeaeaeaeah! The boys are back, the boys are back! Dad used to ride us around singing this oldy but goody. The boys are back in town! And you better lettem fight, yeaeaea! Oh yeaeaeah! The boys are back in toueeoeeown!”
Okay, so, do you see the difference? We as men focus on one thing, while women have several things running through their heads all at once. So, unfortunately, if you wish to start a conversation with ANY woman, you’ll first have to interrupt ALL THAT! Sorry to break it to you, but that’s just the way it is. Even worse, if she’s really in the groove, and she’s about to put everything in order and logical sequence—and you come along and interrupt at a bad moment—you could very well feel her wrath. That’s what’s known as “risking it.” Yes, it is a big risk, and it’s one you will have to initiate first.
Take a risk, give a risk
Here’s the unfair part about attraction, romance, and dating. The rules state that you as the man MUST take the first risk, always, always, always, always. There are no exceptions to that rule. If every man on the planet decided to wait until the woman took the first risk in the relationship, God would be disappointed. Why? Because while we may still be fruitful, we certainly would no longer be able to multiply. It’s that simple.
So, in other words, you as the man are always, always, always expected to make the first move. But once you have, you’ve given permission to her—that beautiful woman you would someday like to marry—to go ahead and take a risk on you. See how that works?
So, is there any way to take that first risk and lower it at the same time? Glad you asked! This is where that tiny, two-lettered work comes into play.
Ready for the magic word?
“Hi”
That’s it. That’s what you’ve all been waiting for. But hold on. It’s a powerful word, and I want to show you how to get the most out of it.
First off, I prefer variations of the word “hi.” That’s because my voice is naturally tinny and high-pitched. Therefore, when I say hi to a woman in passing, it sounds like a ping-pong ball bouncing off a concrete wall at high speed!
My favorite variation of “hi” is the word hello. When I say hello to a woman, it forces my throat to sound deeper, and it’s much smoother and less choppy. Variations of hello include:
Somewhat flirty: Hello there.
Daring: Well, hello there.
In the morning, I prefer
“Good morning.” I know it’s a bit more formal, but that formality will help you ease into a conversation better than simply saying “Hi.”
I never say “Good afternoon.” Why? Because it often conjures up images of a butler named Jeeves standing in front of a Rolls-Royce saying, “Good afternoon, sir. Your car is polished and ready for your outing to Walmart.” Oh, good man, Jeeves!
What hello will do for you
- Starts the conversation
- Gets you talking to women, if only for a brief moment
- Increases your confidence
- Is a relatively “safe” way to interrupt her
- Helps train you to accept rejection
- Helps manage your shyness around women
- You’ll make someone’s day (aka bless them), guaranteed
- You’ll feel good about “talking” to so many women
- You’ll go from depressed to enthusiastic with most aspects of your life, I promise
Remember, if you’re going get married someday, you will have to get engaged, and before you get engaged, you will have to date for a while, and before you date for a while, you will have to ask her out, and before you ask her out, you will have to introduce yourself and show romantic interest, and before you do ALL THAT, you are going to have to interrupt her and intrude on her life. The best way to start is with a “hello.”
Your mission (and you really need to accept it)
Your goal from here on out is to say hi or hello to at least 10 women per day. Which women? All of them! It doesn’t matter if they are attractive to you, unattractive to you, young, old, disabled, a different race than you, non-believer, crazy-looking, or downright intimidating.
Of course, since I’m talking to adults here, I’m confident you will use common sense. You will NOT say hi to a woman who has a man by her side (duh!). Also, you will not be flirting with any underage girls EVER! All this goes without saying.
Excuses you may be tempted to use instead of taking the challenge:
--This seems stupid
--It won't work
--I'm too shy
--It's too hard
--It's too easy
You cannot allow yourself to make excuses for not building your conversation skills. It is a must if you are going to have any chance of meeting the God-fearing Christian woman of your dreams!
In a later post, I’ll show you how to build on that initial hello, show your romantic interest, get that important contact info, and set up the first date.
For now, say hi or hello to 300 women in the next 30 days. Go!