Just really struggling with my faith as of late. I am an x pastor. But seeing abusive leaders in positions of power that are harming those trying to focus on Christ but are still in positions of power, or those that have sexually abused congregates but takes a while for them to be removed in their leadership roles. Or not having any Christian friends anymore or people to discuss faith with. Or the many differences in the Christian faith but specifically around people such as women, single moms, gender in leadership etc. People seem to see a different Jesus then I do...one that wants obedience but is for both male and female and for where their heart is and in telling genders they have specific roles that they must stay in their lane. Also, questioning if I can continue with my marriage where it feels I take care of everything and they forget, or they are no longer interested in faith which feels like its me pulling a huge wagon uphill. I'm just exhausted, I do devotions, pray but don't feel I am receiving anything but a depressed spirit that feels alone in their faith journey but am required to keep pouring from an empty cup.
I hope this makes sense to someone. Just is there actually a God, or have I been fooled all this time. Spending countless hours of study, prayer to something/someone that is not there....
I hope this makes sense to someone. Just is there actually a God, or have I been fooled all this time. Spending countless hours of study, prayer to something/someone that is not there....
Does this prophetic word minister to you at all?
Do you feel this is from Jesus?
You have been called by name, child, and you are mine. You are uniquely talented, and you are a vibrant gift to the family of my beloved ones. When you first awakened to love’s call in your life, there was so much rapid growth as you depended on both me and my loyal lovers to teach you my kingdom ways. You developed quickly in the nurturing and wisdom of my love. You heeded the teachings of those who aligned their lives with mine, and you sought to be like them. Do not diminish the value of this time, for it set you up to continually seek me.
Do not forget the gifts that you received in the early days of your learning. They are still at work in your life. Practice them and use them for the benefit of others. No one else can offer what you do in the way you do it. Do not be convinced that another could fill your spot, for there is only one you. Let your light shine brightly as you live in the confidence of who I have created you to be. Use what you’ve received, and you will receive more. There is no shortage in me. Let love propel you, beloved.
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