I bet he eats Count Chocula for breakfast.A man walked into a bar and said 'I've just seen a vampire!'
The bartender said 'don't be silly, vampires aren't real!'
'Unless you Count Dracula!' the man replied.
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That reminds me of the little boy who told his mom that God's name is Andy. A little perplexed, the mother asked the child why he believed God's name was Andy. Because, said the boy, it's in the song we sang in Sunday school. Curious, the mom asked which song. You know mom the boy said....
Andy walks with,
Andy talks me,
Andy tells me I am His own.....
I used to get in trouble at church for putting my Bible on the floor and actually standing on itAs a child,
I seriously wished I had one of those,
Royal Telephones to Glory
I didn’t know
that I could actually
Talk to Jesus ANYTIME!
Without a telephone.
I was going through Myrtle Beach one afternoon on the way to visit someone from the church for the first time so I was using GPS. Literally every 2 minutes the voice on the GPS said...in a quarter mile, go straight. My wife and kids and I never laughed so hard. Now every time someone asks for directions, someone will invariably say...in a quarter mile, go straight.
When GPS first came out my friend was experimenting with it.I was going through Myrtle Beach one afternoon on the way to visit someone from the church for the first time so I was using GPS. Literally every 2 minutes the voice on the GPS said...in a quarter mile, go straight. My wife and kids and I never laughed so hard. Now every time someone asks for directions, someone will invariably say...in a quarter mile, go straight.
He should have gone a quarter mile and then gone straight.When GPS first came out my friend was experimenting with it.
It told him to "go straight"
except there was a problem...
for him to "go straight" would mean driving into a lake that had been there forever
he said he was glad he knew where he was and how to get around the lake to get to his destination.
If he'd gone a quarter mile first he would have been completely under waterHe should have gone a quarter mile and then gone straight.
If you aren't willing to take short-cuts you are never going to get there.If he'd gone a quarter mile first he would have been completely under water![]()
tell me about it...If you aren't willing to take short-cuts you are never going to get there.
I went to pick up some furniture the other day. The directions had me arriving when I was still on the Highway. I used the old noggin. Turns out the family giving away the furniture didn't live in the median of a four lane highway.tell me about it...
following my GPS led me to an extra hour and half drive (on an already 2 1/2 hr + trip) because it didn't know the short cuts.
(unfortunately neither did I)
When GPS first came out my friend was experimenting with it.
It told him to "go straight"
except there was a problem...
for him to "go straight" would mean driving into a lake that had been there forever
he said he was glad he knew where he was and how to get around the lake to get to his destination.