Give me bad advice...

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Tell the person you are trying to get to know on the phone that you have a terrible problem with road rage
 
Life Insurance is like a parachute, if you don't have it when you need it, you probably won't need it again.
 
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What´s the best thing about turning 65? No more calls from life insurance agents.
 
Tell the person you are trying to get to know on the phone that you have a terrible problem with road rage

This literally just happened to me on the phone a few minutes ago. After they told me they shot the neighbors dog with a pellet gun. I politely exited the conversation.
 
I was thinking about brushing their hair for them.......they enjoy it.
If you can get close enough.

Here's some GOOD advice: Wait until God has brought them back to their intended state. Then, you can play with them and pet them all day long. I look forward to rubbing their tummies and petting their manes, but not until God's restored all things :D
 
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I was thinking about brushing their hair for them.......they enjoy it.
If you can get close enough.

Here's some GOOD advice: Wait until God has brought them back to their intended state. Then, you can play with them and pet them all day long. I look forward to rubbing their tummies and petting their manes, but not until God's restored all things :D

I can't wait!
coward-e1568372603853.jpg
 
When someone is crying and confiding in you, I mean really pouring their heart out, wait till they're finished then respond with, "huh? I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention, could you start over with that ?"

Go on, try it.... it'll be fun..

 
When someone is crying and confiding in you, I mean really pouring their heart out, wait till they're finished then respond with, "huh? I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention, could you start over with that ?"

Go on, try it.... it'll be fun..

Or just pick up your phone and start scrolling. People love that lol
 
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Next time you're in a busy store, cut straight to the front of the checkout line. People will think you're important and leave you alone.
 
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Dont have a tissue ? No problem, use your shirt!
I have done that before, depending on how bad the drip is and how long until I'm going to change my shirt anyway. It's what is known as a calculated risk.
 
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Pick your nose in public its now cooler than smoking was in the day
 
Pick your nose in public its now cooler than smoking was in the day
Everybody's doing it
Doing it, doing it
Picking their noses and
Chewing it, chewing it
Tastes so dandy
Just like candy
But it'snot