Well...for now I'm just going to remain a trainwreck, because it's who I am right now. No I'm not going to date anyone, because shoot, my life is all kinds of crazy now, but I just have to be real with myself. I'm a trainwreck, and I don't feel like conforming right now (not with the law, I'm just talking about spritually). I just pray to God and maybe he'll find me a way out of this somehow...but for now I'm gonna let God guide me and see what happens....
I think you're on the right track (praying to God and let him guide you).
The Apostle Paul wrote most of the books in the New Testament, which are really letters to the groups of Christ followers he personally started in various cities.
In one letter Paul writes that he prayed to three times to have God remove a "thorn in his flesh". Paul doesn't specify what that is, but he does tell us what God replied. He said, "my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
"I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians Chapter 12.
We don't know what God will or won't do for any specific individual until they ask him. Sometimes the answer is "my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." There's something more important than our circumstances. I thought it might interest you to find out what Paul means. Don't be afraid to join a church and bible study. We really do nothing on our own. And "nothing can separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
From Paul's Romans chapter 8:
"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God."
"No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."