Another thing to look at is the family. What if they have an unstable uncle who loves guns, has a short temper and gets drunk at family gathering. If you marry into that family the crazy uncle becomes part of your family.
I remember watching one of those reality cop shows back in the 1990s. A mentally unstable uncle stole his 3-year old nephew and a police chase ensued. The video started after the car chase ended in a swamp with the uncle about waist deep into the marshy depths with his 3-year old nephew in his arms. The show added that he was in the swamp hoping for an alligator or crocodile to come by and feed the nephew to it. The toddler wasn't scared because he was familiar with his uncle, but he was very quiet and had a puzzled but concentrated look on his face as if he didn't understand what was going on but was trying to figure it all out.
You can see a rowboat with - I can't remember accurately - two to three police in it, slowly rowing out to the uncle so that he doesn't do anything drastic. In the meanwhile, you can hear off-camera, the nephew's mom crying and begging the uncle to give back her son. That audio really got to me - the intense fear and distress in the mother's voice!
They brought the rowboat right next to the uncle and said to hand the child over. But what the uncle did next was so shocking! He plunged the toddler under the murky water trying to
drown him!
So the policemen in the boat immediately went to town on the uncle beating him on the head with their batons until he was near passing out and lost his grip on the toddler, while another one jumped out of the boat and brought the toddler out of that nasty sludge!
By that act alone, the toddler knew his uncle was no longer someone he can be safe with and he clung to the policeman that got him. So in the end, this wrapped up nicely with the toddler back with his mother and the uncle in custody and had probably done time (also maybe in a psychiatric institution).
So this was so impactful to me that I told my brother and sister about it and warned them - that, as you have posted - that you also have take seriously into consideration, the family of your intended spouse. You don't just marry that person - you have to also deal with their family in that marriage. So my siblings and I learned to not give our hearts away so easily and try to get to know the person we're considering for marriage and their family as well.
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