Honest question....why don't churches teach the best way to avoid fornication is to get married?

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JohnB

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Yes, I would. If it was God's will for me to marry and that was the woman He gave me. It's a lot better to have a good woman the Lord gives you than some bimbo who will step out on you the first chance she gets.
I would not do that. I've met people who admitted then married the first person they found. They have always regretted that. If there's no attraction, you have to question your motives. Some people marry just to have someone in their life. That is the wrong reason to get married.
 

Mem

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Sep 23, 2014
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Since God didn't come through, scientists are currently working on your problem.
 

JohnB

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Besides that things change, beauty fades. What if the woman you're attracted to physically had something happen to her and she was no longer attractive? Would you stop loving her? You can become attracted to someone simply by spending time with them, even if you aren't attracted in the beginning. Life and love are about a lot more than sex.
People always make up a "what if" scenario to get others to agree with them. I stick with the facts, not the "what if"'s"
 

oyster67

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May 24, 2014
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Would you marry someone you're not attracted to?
Maybe things would begin to grow and blossom if you invested the little bit of time it takes to get to know someone.
 

ResidentAlien

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I would not do that. I've met people who admitted then married the first person they found. They have always regretted that. If there's no attraction, you have to question your motives. Some people marry just to have someone in their life. That is the wrong reason to get married.
Well, I agree, there are a lot of wrong reasons to marry. A person should marry the one God gives them. You seem to be an expert on all the wrong reasons to marry; probably why you're still single and miserable.
 

ResidentAlien

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People always make up a "what if" scenario to get others to agree with them. I stick with the facts, not the "what if"'s"
It's not a "what if"; it's a fact of life.
 

Fundaamental

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Mar 17, 2023
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Just what I need in my life a female terminator. LOL
I'm a bit confused 🤔

Is the thread still about how the church doesn't preach against how to avoid fornication or how it's acceptable to have a relationship with a woman in an intimate way without getting married.

Do you feel guilty or has somebody been whispering in your ear or has somebody called you a fornicator.

Or are you trying to prove the church doesn't preach what your op is suggesting because it's ok to have an intamite relationship with out getting married ?.
 

hornetguy

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Jan 18, 2016
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I'll take the kissing anytime. I can always cook for myself and or eat out.
Hate to say it bro, but if kissing is most important to you, your "marriage" will not last.
Marriage is a partnership, and you have to actually like the person you marry..... because no matter how compatible you are, sexually, no matter how great the sex is, you cannot have sex 24 hours a day. About 23 hours of that day (ok, maybe 23 1/2 hours :ROFL:) will be spent doing other, more mundane things. If you cannot find enjoyment and fulfilment in those things, your marriage is doomed from the start.
 

Lanolin

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is this the single guy who is ALWAYS complaining nobody wants to marry him? :unsure:
 

2ndTimeIsTheCharm

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I remember when I went forward in church, when I was 30 (I'm now 70), begging GOD not to leave me in the single's life. I hate it. The one thing I asked him not to do, he does. To me, being single has never been a gift, it has been a curse.

Oh, I'm sad that you're feeling bad about your situation! :( But all I know is that whatever situation God either puts into your life or permits, He can bring comfort to you and even happiness and joy, despite it all. Maybe that's the point of your singleness - to help you learn to rely on the Lord for everything and not other people and activities.

Also, you need to know that just because you're not getting certain things, it doesn't mean that God doesn't care about you. He may have withheld the spouse and sex because He thinks it may become an idol in your life.

For me, I think my husband would have become an idol (not so much the sex), and God would have had to compete for my love and attention. I did pray to God early in my walk that if anything can come between Him and me that He not bother to bring them into my life. So I've been single all this time! :giggle:

You also need to be distracted from what's making you so sad. You can ask God what you can do together with Him and other brothers and sisters in Christ. You can organize some fun outings with them, play sports together or go to an amusement park. There's also Bible study. You can hold them at a beautiful park or beach for a nice setting and then have a yummy picnic afterward and have fellowship (maybe find your spouse that way). Or you can start a fun hobby? Learn a musical instrument. Learn to craft like woodworking or something?

 

JohnB

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is this the single guy who is ALWAYS complaining nobody wants to marry him? :unsure:
It's the single guy who can't seem to find the mutual attraction to get married. I've met women who would have married me. If there's no mutual attraction, it won't happen.
 

JohnB

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Hate to say it bro, but if kissing is most important to you, your "marriage" will not last.
Marriage is a partnership, and you have to actually like the person you marry..... because no matter how compatible you are, sexually, no matter how great the sex is, you cannot have sex 24 hours a day. About 23 hours of that day (ok, maybe 23 1/2 hours :ROFL:) will be spent doing other, more mundane things. If you cannot find enjoyment and fulfilment in those things, your marriage is doomed from the start.
I know of a woman who shortly after she was married was very mad her husband did not like they way she kissed. They did the whole purity thing, no physical contact until after marriage. They are now paying the price for that.
 

JohnB

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Jul 31, 2022
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I'm a bit confused 🤔

Is the thread still about how the church doesn't preach against how to avoid fornication or how it's acceptable to have a relationship with a woman in an intimate way without getting married.

Do you feel guilty or has somebody been whispering in your ear or has somebody called you a fornicator.

Or are you trying to prove the church doesn't preach what your op is suggesting because it's ok to have an intamite relationship with out getting married ?.
I think the whole purity thing was not biblical. Nowhere in the bible does it say you cannot kiss, hug or hold hands before marriage.
 

Godsgirl1983

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Feb 2, 2023
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I know of a woman who shortly after she was married was very mad her husband did not like they way she kissed. They did the whole purity thing, no physical contact until after marriage. They are now paying the price for that.
I'm sure she would have liked it a lot less if he were a toe curling, dynamite kisser and became that way from all the practice he might have had / could have had before her.
 

HopeinHim98

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Mar 16, 2023
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I think the whole purity thing was not biblical. Nowhere in the bible does it say you cannot kiss, hug or hold hands before marriage.
It is better for a man not to touch a woman. -the Apostle Paul
 

Fundaamental

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Mar 17, 2023
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I think the whole purity thing was not biblical. Nowhere in the bible does it say you cannot kiss, hug or hold hands before marriage.
Are you saying you've never found a woman who doesn't want to wait to kiss you until after the wedding ?
 

hornetguy

Senior Member
Jan 18, 2016
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I know of a woman who shortly after she was married was very mad her husband did not like they way she kissed. They did the whole purity thing, no physical contact until after marriage. They are now paying the price for that.
Well, there IS such a thing as learning how to kiss the way your spouse enjoys... learning is a big part of the fun.