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Cameron143

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Mar 1, 2022
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I don't know if this point has been made already but I don't think the hype made against homosexuality is so much seeing it as "the ultimate sin" while downplaying the wrongness of "normal" or "straight" sins. At least for me. Instead, a HUGE concern for me is Christians getting lax about right and wrong because of culture and political correctness. Those of us trying to hold fast may look like "haters" or "pharisees" or something else because sometimes we can have a kind of a knee-jerk reaction.

I don't know, I don't want to put words in any other Christians mouth, but that's kind of where I would be coming from. We need to hold fast to truth, yes. And may God help us to have a loving spirit when confronting it.
Perhaps the reason is found in Romans 1. Any type of sexual perversion is heinous, but homosexuality seems to be after God has given people over to their sin.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
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I don't know if this point has been made already but I don't think the hype made against homosexuality is so much seeing it as "the ultimate sin" while downplaying the wrongness of "normal" or "straight" sins. At least for me. Instead, a HUGE concern for me is Christians getting lax about right and wrong because of culture and political correctness. Those of us trying to hold fast may look like "haters" or "pharisees" or something else because sometimes we can have a kind of a knee-jerk reaction.

I don't know, I don't want to put words in any other Christians mouth, but that's kind of where I would be coming from. We need to hold fast to truth, yes. And may God help us to have a loving spirit when confronting it.
I completely understand what you're saying.

Thank you for the part of having a loving spirit when confronting someone.

Most of the gay people I have been around (through work and school) already knew it was wrong -- they didn't need for me to tell them that, or for me to preach at them.

Rather, we would talk about what steps they needed to take next in order to get closer to God and work out what it would take to change.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
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You are welcome twice over.:)

I thought attacking what you do not say only happened in the Bible Discussion Forum.
I am truly grateful to the people who have given me enough grace to try to see where I'm coming from. My Mom once said I was born with a disclaimer on my forehead that says, "Tell Me About Your Most Personal Problems."

From the time I was a teen, people were talking to me about their most personal issues. And I found myself crying in prayer A LOT when I brought all these things to God.

I usually don't get involved in discussions like this just because of how sensitive they are, but I felt almost compelled to say something.

I understand that others may or will disagree, and that's ok.

But I really did feel like someone out there needed to see these posts and this discussion, and I hope that for at least one person out there, they have been informative or even helpful.
 

HopeinHim98

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Mar 16, 2023
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Yes. I was married once. He moved out one day while I was at work and didn't tell me. I came home to a half-empty house and received papers in the mail that said, "You are being sued for divorce." He gave me no reason. I was told by Christians that at 25, I would have to remain alone for the rest of my life. I moved away from the area, and it later came out (a long time after he divorced me) that the reason he had left was to be with our 19-year-old co-worker. Once I was gone, they went public with their relationship. He had been dating her while he was still with me.


I'm so sorry that happened to you, it had to be so hard.
 

Cameron143

Well-known member
Mar 1, 2022
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I do think you're right yes!
Another reason is probably just generational. I'm 61. I grew up in an era when homosexuality was much frowned upon. Younger folks today are much more tolerant of it.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
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@HopeinHim98 -- I'm sorry I couldn't get your reply to post correctly, but thank you so much.

God got me through!

I honestly didn't think I was going to make it. I literally thought I would die from a broken heart. I was struggling so much with depression that I could barely function, but praise God, I was always able to work.

And God pulled me through to the other side so that I can hopefully be of help to others who have, or are going through this.

Thank you so much for your kind words.
 

HopeinHim98

Well-known member
Mar 16, 2023
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Another reason is probably just generational. I'm 61. I grew up in an era when homosexuality was much frowned upon. Younger folks today are much more tolerant of it.
Yes and that's not the only sin that seems to be tolerated nowadays unfortunately. :(
 

HopeinHim98

Well-known member
Mar 16, 2023
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@HopeinHim98 -- I'm sorry I couldn't get your reply to post correctly, but thank you so much.

God got me through!

I honestly didn't think I was going to make it. I literally thought I would die from a broken heart. I was struggling so much with depression that I could barely function, but praise God, I was always able to work.

And God pulled me through to the other side so that I can hopefully be of help to others who have, or are going through this.

Thank you so much for your kind words.
That's okay I messed up with the quote thing lol.

It's a wonderful testimony, how God brought you through. I have felt very similar to what you described, but I know my pain couldn't have been as intense as yours, after I broke an engagement nearly 2 years ago. I didn't think I could ever be happy again without him. But like you, God brought me through and has given me joy and a reason to live again.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,683
5,601
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Another reason is probably just generational. I'm 61. I grew up in an era when homosexuality was much frowned upon. Younger folks today are much more tolerant of it.
Yes and that's not the only sin that seems to be tolerated nowadays unfortunately. :(
It's a sobering thing to see how sexual sin has crept through every age and generation.

My pastor is in his late 40's and he said that one of the most difficult groups he has to confront are middle-aged to elderly people who were once married, but lost their spouse due to divorce, death, or abandonment.

He was saying that he has had to confront many older couples because many of them just want to live together, and refuse to get married, saying, "Yeah, that celibacy stuff was alright when I was 17, but I'm a grown adult now."

I don't know if this is like this in other places, but this was in a large retirement community.

To be honest, I was kind of shocked. I don't mean this as a stereotype at all, but I thought if anyone was more devout about living out sexual purity, it would be the older generations.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,683
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That's okay I messed up with the quote thing lol.
It's a wonderful testimony, how God brought you through. I have felt very similar to what you described, but I know my pain couldn't have been as intense as yours, after I broke an engagement nearly 2 years ago. I didn't think I could ever be happy again without him. But like you, God brought me through and has given me joy and a reason to live again.
I know that exact feeling you're describing and I am so sorry you went through this.

I know what it's like to wake up every day with your heart shattered and wonder how you can go on.

But God put us back together again to bring people like you and me together, as well as to reach out to others in this awesome community! :)
 

HopeinHim98

Well-known member
Mar 16, 2023
529
417
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It's a sobering thing to see how sexual sin has crept through every age and generation.

My pastor is in his late 40's and he said that one of the most difficult groups he has to confront are middle-aged to elderly people who were once married, but lost their spouse due to divorce, death, or abandonment.

He was saying that he has had to confront many older couples because many of them just want to live together, and refuse to get married, saying, "Yeah, that celibacy stuff was alright when I was 17, but I'm a grown adult now."

I don't know if this is like this in other places, but this was in a large retirement community.

To be honest, I was kind of shocked. I don't mean this as a stereotype at all, but I thought if anyone was more devout about living out sexual purity, it would be the older generations.
Relationships are VERY cheapened these days. People are devalued when they give their body away to whoever how many times before marriage. It's so sad, and surely people long for something different!
 

CS1

Well-known member
May 23, 2012
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I am not really sure what you are going on about her, but you seem to imply that everything goes for a married couple, does that include BDSM and sodomy?

I really feel like you are not comprehending @seoulsearch point.

The sad thing is you say I am saying everything goes for married couples? Never said that what I am saying is you can't equate homosexuality with sexual relations of that between a man and a woman who are married.

And some think sex in any way other than " The Missionary Position" is a sin. What I am saying is me that my wife of 30 years of marriage never let anyone into our bedroom. So If I am doing something you think is wrong, God only knows, and it is between me, him, and my wife.

Homosexuality is wrong from the letter h. :)
 

CS1

Well-known member
May 23, 2012
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Yes. I was married once. He moved out one day while I was at work and didn't tell me. I came home to a half-empty house and received papers in the mail that said, "You are being sued for divorce." He gave me no reason. I was told by Christians that at 25, I would have to remain alone for the rest of my life. I moved away from the area, and it later came out (a long time after he divorced me) that the reason he had left was to be with our 19-year-old co-worker. Once I was gone, they went public with their relationship. He had been dating her while he was still with me.

At last! The first question of your post, "What sexual sin does a married couple commit?" is getting right to the heart of the matter, thank you!

Some Christians seem to think that being married means they don't commit any sexual sins. And some may not -- I'm certainly not accusing anyone of something wrong if they aren't actually doing something wrong.

And yes. A Godly marriage is one man, one woman, and a sanctified marriage bed involving only the two of them in thought, word, and deed. But does that mean a married couple doesn't commit sexual sins? Maybe for some. But not for all.

* If a husband is fantasizing about his pretty young redheaded coworker while with his wife, is he sinning?

* If a spouse is watching things on their computer they have to hide from the other person, is that sin?

* If a wife wishes her husband would make more money, is attracted to their wealthier more powerful neighbor and starts to picture herself with him instead of her husband in personal ways, is that sin?

* If one spouse makes the other participate in sexual acts or uses equipment they are not comfortable with, is that sin?

* If a married couples like to use things seen as unconventional accessories in the bedroom, is that sin?

* If a spouse prefers to use other body parts or apparatuses other than the ones God specifically designed for sex and the other spouse is unwilling, but is pressured into it anyway, is that sin?

The answer to your question of whether or not people in marriage can commit sexual sins would have to conclude with your own personal answers to these questions.
OK thank you, but I must say you base your understanding on the hurt that happened to you because you equate the sin of married people sexually from your experience.
I would not in any way try to discredit your experience.


You have listed many things, but what you failed to understand is the person(s) were addicted to pornography and brought that in to the relationship Marrige was not the problem of Sexual Idolatry. all the things you listed were brought into the marriage because someone has a sexual addiction. The marriage was doomed. Why? Because the Person(S) built more into the sexual experience out of perversion, not from love. Long before this happened, something was not right.


You did not answer my second question is being tempted a sin sexually, or is temptation a sin?
 

HeIsHere

Well-known member
May 21, 2022
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The sad thing is you say I am saying everything goes for married couples? Never said that what I am saying is you can't equate homosexuality with sexual relations of that between a man and a woman who are married.

And some think sex in any way other than " The Missionary Position" is a sin. What I am saying is me that my wife of 30 years of marriage never let anyone into our bedroom. So If I am doing something you think is wrong, God only knows, and it is between me, him, and my wife.

Homosexuality is wrong from the letter h. :)
Okay, I have a better sense of your view.

Yes I would agree homosexuality is wrong from the get go.

I would agree with @seoulsearch that there are sexual sins that may occur in a marriage and sometimes very serious ones.

I think if you read her post more slowly, as I did the second time, you will see she is addressing other problems in the church that are often not regarded as problems but should be.
 

CS1

Well-known member
May 23, 2012
13,112
4,374
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Yes. I was married once. He moved out one day while I was at work and didn't tell me. I came home to a half-empty house and received papers in the mail that said, "You are being sued for divorce." He gave me no reason. I was told by Christians that at 25, I would have to remain alone for the rest of my life. I moved away from the area, and it later came out (a long time after he divorced me) that the reason he had left was to be with our 19-year-old co-worker. Once I was gone, they went public with their relationship. He had been dating her while he was still with me.

At last! The first question of your post, "What sexual sin does a married couple commit?" is getting right to the heart of the matter, thank you!

Some Christians seem to think that being married means they don't commit any sexual sins. And some may not -- I'm certainly not accusing anyone of something wrong if they aren't actually doing something wrong.

And yes. A Godly marriage is one man, one woman, and a sanctified marriage bed involving only the two of them in thought, word, and deed. But does that mean a married couple doesn't commit sexual sins? Maybe for some. But not for all.

* If a husband is fantasizing about his pretty young redheaded coworker while with his wife, is he sinning?

* If a spouse is watching things on their computer they have to hide from the other person, is that sin?

* If a wife wishes her husband would make more money, is attracted to their wealthier more powerful neighbor and starts to picture herself with him instead of her husband in personal ways, is that sin?

* If one spouse makes the other participate in sexual acts or uses equipment they are not comfortable with, is that sin?

* If a married couples like to use things seen as unconventional accessories in the bedroom, is that sin?

* If a spouse prefers to use other body parts or apparatuses other than the ones God specifically designed for sex and the other spouse is unwilling, but is pressured into it anyway, is that sin?

The answer to your question of whether or not people in marriage can commit sexual sins would have to conclude with your own personal answers to these questions.
are you now a gay woman?
 

CS1

Well-known member
May 23, 2012
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Okay, I have a better sense of your view.

Yes I would agree homosexuality is wrong from the get go.

I would agree with @seoulsearch that there are sexual sins that may occur in a marriage and sometimes very serious ones.

I think if you read her post more slowly, as I did the second time, you will see she is addressing other problems in the church that are often not regarded as problems but should be.
I disagree as she has addressed her own experience in her own marriage.
 

CS1

Well-known member
May 23, 2012
13,112
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I am not really sure what you are going on about her, but you seem to imply that everything goes for a married couple, does that include BDSM and sodomy?

I really feel like you are not comprehending @seoulsearch point.
You know that everyone has some kind of sexual sin. Wow!! I have a qestion for you

Do you think being tempted is a sin? And is a sexual temptation the only battle Christians have to fight?
 

HeIsHere

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May 21, 2022
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You know that everyone has some kind of sexual sin.
I do not think I made this statement? :unsure:

Being tempted is not a sin. A Christian has a variety of battles I think, it varies from person to person.