Dating an older man: How old would you go?

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I_am_Canadian

Senior Member
Dec 8, 2014
2,469
836
113
#84
Here is the advice I gave my dad before he died, if he is going to date someone younger, 10 years should be the maximum limit. Of course he was 61, if a 25 year old took that advice they would land in prison.

So my advice use common sense. If your dating someone old enough to be your dad, it's probably not a good idea.
 
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Gojira

Guest
#85
Here is the advice I gave my dad before he died, if he is going to date someone younger, 10 years should be the maximum limit. Of course he was 61, if a 25 year old took that advice they would land in prison.

So my advice use common sense. If your dating someone old enough to be your dad, it's probably not a good idea.
Hmm.. why? I ask because these things are usually subjective. I'm curious to know if anyone has objective criteria for this. I can think of a few practical reasons to avoid someone 30 years your senior, but sometimes those practical reasons do not wind up factoring into the relationship.

So, what would be your objective criteria?
 

HealthAndHappiness

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2022
10,606
4,533
113
Almost Heaven West Virginia
#86
Hmm.. why? I ask because these things are usually subjective. I'm curious to know if anyone has objective criteria for this. I can think of a few practical reasons to avoid someone 30 years your senior, but sometimes those practical reasons do not wind up factoring into the relationship.

So, what would be your objective criteria?
Public fool systems world wide teach age segregation from preschool through college.x God intended families to be close and to help each other.
Families gave everything over to the devil's organizations. Now they have new sins and laws that aren't even Biblical. Age gaps are now viewed as somehow sinful. Some younger adults can't even hang out with friends more than a year or two different. They are immature and designed to be that way. Example, I had invited a guy student in college to my christian group on campus. He whines, "But there's nobody myyyy age. ☹️
I said, Mont, why don't I introduce you to some people who have things in common, and hey Mont, join us for a game of fuse ball.
"But they aren't myyy age." Whiners

Then why don't you invite one of your friends from church or class next week?
You get my example. It's a frame of mind called "age segregation."
It's that they were raised by school/gt and fed soy burgers instead of raised by a real masculine Dad. Teens do NOT need "father figures.". They need real father's that are like God intended them to be.
 

I_am_Canadian

Senior Member
Dec 8, 2014
2,469
836
113
#87
Hmm.. why? I ask because these things are usually subjective. I'm curious to know if anyone has objective criteria for this. I can think of a few practical reasons to avoid someone 30 years your senior, but sometimes those practical reasons do not wind up factoring into the relationship.

So, what would be your objective criteria?
Because it didn't go over well when my cousin dated a guy almost 3 times her age, she was about 18 at the time her boyfriend I believe was 1 or 2 years older than her dad. About 50 or 51 years old.

My criteria is watching it fail first hand.
 
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Gojira

Guest
#88
Because it didn't go over well when my cousin dated a guy almost 3 times her age, she was about 18 at the time her boyfriend I believe was 1 or 2 years older than her dad. About 50 or 51 years old.

My criteria is watching it fail first hand.
But it doesn't fail all the time.

I think this is a case-by-case thing, and that hard and fast rules do not apply to everyone equally.
 

HealthAndHappiness

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2022
10,606
4,533
113
Almost Heaven West Virginia
#89
But it doesn't fail all the time.

I think this is a case-by-case thing, and that hard and fast rules do not apply to everyone equally.
A book really needs to be written on this subject. Here's a chapter that I'll begin with.

Everyone has differences and there are many options. There are only a few laws God gives about marriage .
I was asked by a mutual friend to help him move furniture for a married couple he was friends with. My buddy and I had a business hauling heavy things and were used to that. No problem, I had a Saturday available and we all need a hand at times.
They had a double wide and a little piece of land way out in the country. She was employed in some technical role for NASA, high IQ, into the book of the week club, extremely pretty and healthy. There was something like a 50+/- year age gap. He was and also smart and able. He just needed help moving some big items into storage.

After that day, we connected with them on occasions at lunches at mutual educational and Bible conferences. I doubt if either one of them could care less what others thought about that little detail of their marriage. We thought they were pretty cool.. They weren't worried about opinions like some 14 year olds.

Were they living in sin? I couldn't find anything in the Bible that said two adults, male and female I should add, must marry at a certain age range. That's a choice, not a sin, or something addressed as our youth obsessed culture demands. On the other hand, it seems that worldly minded youth has no problem with the things God really cares about . Living in sin..... promiscuity......drugs and alcohol...... rebellion to the established boundaries that God has provided.....etc.
Then the weak minded culture looks to the youth as something to desire to make one happy, like some fruit on a tree of knowledge. They can have their warped sense of reality and immaturity. It's of the world, the flesh and the devil.
Christians can find enjoyment in everything God has provided within His Word. That's a lot and it doesn't carry the baggage of addictions or consequences.

Back to the conclusion about the couple that I knew. They were not Christians, but were active and pursued meaningful growth in areas of interest. They seemed very happy and met their needs without government assistance. They didn't even use the health care benefits.
The man had something that the wife thought he should have checked out.by a doctor. That turned out to be a mistake. He never needed medical care before and was not on any meds either. They were both healthy. Unfortunately, the hospital took care of that and his life was cut short. Many worry so much about widowhood. Well, the wife stayed single and died shortly thereafter even though she was yet a good bit younger. She died after a car accident. People usually have no idea when that day will come. With her, she was given just one year from the week we last spoke about the Lord.
 
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Ruby123

Guest
#90
I would date someone up to ten years older than me. In fact I would prefer it. Definately not someone younger than me.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#91
I have dated my dad...

We go out for McDonalds for breakfast and he pays. lol
 

GaryA

Truth, Honesty, Love, Courage
Aug 10, 2019
9,883
4,345
113
mywebsite.us
#99
(dunno how I stumbled into this thread, but in keeping with the theme, it only seems fitting to add...)

yup :D to an older man :D;)
You are not telling us much - I am pretty sure that the husbands of most married women are older than them...