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I wonder if these five love languages begin to blend into each other on deeper analysis. If you like handmade things as gifts, you presumably like them especially when they are made well. But in a way, the time spent on making the gift could be seen as either an act of service or even "quality time" in the sense that it's time spent for a purpose that is focused on you. It is as if the person hands you all those hours/minutes when giving the actual gift. Also if we are talking about cards or letters, there are probably some words of affirmation involved. So it seems that the boundaries between these love languages aren't very clear-cut.
For some reason, this is kind of a hard question for me to answer. So rather than answer it, I'll just pose a couple of questions that may (or may not) be worth thinking about:
1. Are each person's love languages the same both in giving and receiving love? If not, is there a potential problem in that we may assume that they are the same?
2. What happens when we think about our relationship with God in terms of love languages? Are these still the proper categories? Are our love languages with God the same as with humans? What about God's love languages in his relationship to us?
1. Are each person's love languages the same both in giving and receiving love? If not, is there a potential problem in that we may assume that they are the same?
2. What happens when we think about our relationship with God in terms of love languages? Are these still the proper categories? Are our love languages with God the same as with humans? What about God's love languages in his relationship to us?
there are five tastes
sweet, salty, sour, bitter, savory
Im guessing people might prefer one over the other but they can be combined. People who like coffee would like bitter. Sweet and sour pork is a good combo
savory is more like anything thats herby or spicy
I'd say Im more of a salty and savoury person. When people invite me to morning teas and theres nothing but cakes and biscuits and sweet things, I balk. But people generally think if something is sweet, its a 'loving' food eg all chocolates, candy and things are sweet for valentines day. You can have TOO much sweet and it will make you feel sick.
Chefs try to create dishes that have tases that complement each other.
.its like people never heard of the five things before, but in Chinese culture. theres always five things. Five elements, etc.
When they are in harmony, and balanced they work but when they are in disorder they can be destructive. some will have more of one than the other.
The only thing about five love language books I get a bit tired of is the whole touch and gift things as there are taboos about touch (Theres bad touching and certain people you are NEVER meant to touch specific body parts, and it needs to be GENTLE touch) and gifts is often reciprical and culturally determined, as there are special gift giving days etc. I think the universal one that all humans need is time.
You cant rush things. as the Bible says love is PATIENT
sweet, salty, sour, bitter, savory
Im guessing people might prefer one over the other but they can be combined. People who like coffee would like bitter. Sweet and sour pork is a good combo
savory is more like anything thats herby or spicy
I'd say Im more of a salty and savoury person. When people invite me to morning teas and theres nothing but cakes and biscuits and sweet things, I balk. But people generally think if something is sweet, its a 'loving' food eg all chocolates, candy and things are sweet for valentines day. You can have TOO much sweet and it will make you feel sick.
Chefs try to create dishes that have tases that complement each other.
.its like people never heard of the five things before, but in Chinese culture. theres always five things. Five elements, etc.
When they are in harmony, and balanced they work but when they are in disorder they can be destructive. some will have more of one than the other.
The only thing about five love language books I get a bit tired of is the whole touch and gift things as there are taboos about touch (Theres bad touching and certain people you are NEVER meant to touch specific body parts, and it needs to be GENTLE touch) and gifts is often reciprical and culturally determined, as there are special gift giving days etc. I think the universal one that all humans need is time.
You cant rush things. as the Bible says love is PATIENT
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Not true. Time spent is about Personal, one on one interaction, or at the very least, just being around. What you're saying is the equivalent of a father that works 80 hours a week to provide for his family, falsely thinking he's a good father. Meanwhile his kids have lots of toys, but no connection to their father, which is what they really want and need.
Some things made May contain words of affirmation, but that is secondary and not the point or focus.
It seems to make this "blending together" you're suggesting only works if you alter or distort the true intent and meaning of each language.
Words of affirmation - this is about the words given, not the method of delivery. Whether it's verbal, quickly scrawled on a piece of paper or on a hand made gift doesn't matter. It's the words that are important.
Acts of service - this is about action. We see this commonly from wives with children. A husband coming home and vacuuming and helping with the dishes, for example. Again, a hand made gift may qualify, but the receiver is likely to appreciate the work it took more than the gift itself.
Receiving gifts - pretty straightforward here. Likely people tie a sentiment to gifts. It also tells that person you're thinking of them, even when not around. And well picked gifts also tells them you know them well enough to make such decisions. It's generally about the thought behind it rather than the cost, and often times handmade are more appreciated.
Physical touch - pretty self explanatory.
Quality time - is, as stated above, about spending time Together. Spending time apart, but doing something for that person, does Not qualify. It's about togetherness.
Is their love language the same giving and receiving? Yes. That's the whole point. It is the way this person understands how love and affection are shown. They are naturally going to give in the same way they feel to receive.
I don't think the purpose of this was aimed at that, but it may have some connection still.
Some things made May contain words of affirmation, but that is secondary and not the point or focus.
It seems to make this "blending together" you're suggesting only works if you alter or distort the true intent and meaning of each language.
Words of affirmation - this is about the words given, not the method of delivery. Whether it's verbal, quickly scrawled on a piece of paper or on a hand made gift doesn't matter. It's the words that are important.
Acts of service - this is about action. We see this commonly from wives with children. A husband coming home and vacuuming and helping with the dishes, for example. Again, a hand made gift may qualify, but the receiver is likely to appreciate the work it took more than the gift itself.
Receiving gifts - pretty straightforward here. Likely people tie a sentiment to gifts. It also tells that person you're thinking of them, even when not around. And well picked gifts also tells them you know them well enough to make such decisions. It's generally about the thought behind it rather than the cost, and often times handmade are more appreciated.
Physical touch - pretty self explanatory.
Quality time - is, as stated above, about spending time Together. Spending time apart, but doing something for that person, does Not qualify. It's about togetherness.
Is their love language the same giving and receiving? Yes. That's the whole point. It is the way this person understands how love and affection are shown. They are naturally going to give in the same way they feel to receive.
I don't think the purpose of this was aimed at that, but it may have some connection still.
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I see the "true intent and meaning" as a range or a matter of degree rather than one specific point. If such blending occurs, it's typically at the boundaries, so it won't be with the clearest examples from each category. I probably stretched the meaning too much with the "quality time" example, but there may be a better case of blending/overlap with some of the others. At least it's not obvious to me that there aren't.
It isn't exactly obvious to me that this is always the case. For example, I could easily imagine someone expressing their love by acts of service but being very hesitant and finding it awkward to have others do the same for him/her and preferring other ways. Probably goes back to things like what kinds of relationship dynamics and different roles in them one observes and internalizes.
It isn't exactly obvious to me that this is always the case. For example, I could easily imagine someone expressing their love by acts of service but being very hesitant and finding it awkward to have others do the same for him/her and preferring other ways. Probably goes back to things like what kinds of relationship dynamics and different roles in them one observes and internalizes.
the languages thing dont always work cos whos to say you cant be bilingual or multilingual or a polyglot. Or that you can speak pidgin English or something.
Everyone is trying to communicate, even those who have autism and are non verbal will try to express themselves. Is it on them to learn the langauge OR is it on the speaking person to try to understand them or a bit of both.
Not everyone is proficient to the same level in langauges either.
So at some point the premise starts to collapse. In terms of gift of tongues, when we speak, WE do not necessarily understand what we are saying, but God does! And we must pray for interpretation. Otherwise, its all hot air and tinkling cymbals.
I would say there are a lot more ways to show love than the five in the book, though its a start. The Bible lists a lot more about what real love is. The five love languages is lacking in that respect as it doesnt talk about forgiveness. Its all about doing nice things, easy things for people you ALREADY love but sometimes love can be hard, like loving your enemies!
Everyone is trying to communicate, even those who have autism and are non verbal will try to express themselves. Is it on them to learn the langauge OR is it on the speaking person to try to understand them or a bit of both.
Not everyone is proficient to the same level in langauges either.
So at some point the premise starts to collapse. In terms of gift of tongues, when we speak, WE do not necessarily understand what we are saying, but God does! And we must pray for interpretation. Otherwise, its all hot air and tinkling cymbals.
I would say there are a lot more ways to show love than the five in the book, though its a start. The Bible lists a lot more about what real love is. The five love languages is lacking in that respect as it doesnt talk about forgiveness. Its all about doing nice things, easy things for people you ALREADY love but sometimes love can be hard, like loving your enemies!