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totallty wrong. i do not want things done for me . nor have i ever been interested in receiving gifts.
never assume that everyone in the world is the same as you.
i feel loved the most when i get to touch and spend time with a person.
That is the thing with the love languages. we need to know what the one we love needs feeding more in. and help them learn what we need more of.
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The love language thing is about knowing yourself and knowing your partner (and or other people). Sure selfish people can use it selfishly, but that doesn't make it a bad idea. In fact a lot of it is about paying attention and adapting to someone else's preferences so that it's easier for them to believe you love them.
Examples:
Couple at church that I slipped a card with gift inside to the husband, he didn't open it immediately and when he thanked me later he explained that his wife loved opening things so he always waited for her to open any letters or gifts. Quite likely one of her love languages was gifts.
A friend who started feeling like she was losing it because she was visiting her unreciprocated crush and he wasn't spending all that much time with her. We talked and I kind of pointed out that it wasn't that she was so hopelessly in love with this guy as that she was feeling lonely and unloved because no one was spending quality time with her.
My brother's ex seemed to be gifts gone bad.... to the point that I think I said of her "in her mind, how much money you spend on her is directly proportional to how much you love her"
Me. Quality time is my main love language. You can say nice things about me; spend yourself into debt to give me the fanciest gifts; spend all your time doing stuff for me so I don't have to lift a finger; or give me a quick hug every time you see me. But if you're not spending time with me, I'm not going to think I'm very important to you.
Examples:
Couple at church that I slipped a card with gift inside to the husband, he didn't open it immediately and when he thanked me later he explained that his wife loved opening things so he always waited for her to open any letters or gifts. Quite likely one of her love languages was gifts.
A friend who started feeling like she was losing it because she was visiting her unreciprocated crush and he wasn't spending all that much time with her. We talked and I kind of pointed out that it wasn't that she was so hopelessly in love with this guy as that she was feeling lonely and unloved because no one was spending quality time with her.
My brother's ex seemed to be gifts gone bad.... to the point that I think I said of her "in her mind, how much money you spend on her is directly proportional to how much you love her"
Me. Quality time is my main love language. You can say nice things about me; spend yourself into debt to give me the fanciest gifts; spend all your time doing stuff for me so I don't have to lift a finger; or give me a quick hug every time you see me. But if you're not spending time with me, I'm not going to think I'm very important to you.
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How about sacrificing your life on a cross?
lets see
touch...hands nailed - when Jesus touched anyone they were healed instantly
acts of service...it was totally an act of service...otherwise all of Israel could have been destroyed!
words of affirmation...love one another as God has loved you..the whole Words of Jesus in the Bible is an affirmation
Gifts...didnt Jesus give us the gift of the Holy Spirit?
Quality time....we get to spend ETERNITY with Him
Got the whole package...the Love of God He gave us his only begotten son so that we will not perish but have eternal life.
lets see
touch...hands nailed - when Jesus touched anyone they were healed instantly
acts of service...it was totally an act of service...otherwise all of Israel could have been destroyed!
words of affirmation...love one another as God has loved you..the whole Words of Jesus in the Bible is an affirmation
Gifts...didnt Jesus give us the gift of the Holy Spirit?
Quality time....we get to spend ETERNITY with Him
Got the whole package...the Love of God He gave us his only begotten son so that we will not perish but have eternal life.
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If you actually Read the book it teaches that Both members of the relationship should learn and adapt to expressing themselves so the Other person's natural and innate understanding of how love is expressed is met.
It is about knowing what you need (which is not selfish) as well as knowing what your partner needs and making adjustments so you fill those needs.
Christians have this false notion that anything that in any way indicates a person is taking care of themselves or wanting or needing something for themselves it is automatically, by default, selfish and sinful. Even Jesus himself recognized his own needs and took action to ensure his needs were met.
A truly selfish act is not one where a person acts in their own self interest, but one where a person Only acts in their own self interest, to the neglect or detriment of another.
It is about knowing what you need (which is not selfish) as well as knowing what your partner needs and making adjustments so you fill those needs.
Christians have this false notion that anything that in any way indicates a person is taking care of themselves or wanting or needing something for themselves it is automatically, by default, selfish and sinful. Even Jesus himself recognized his own needs and took action to ensure his needs were met.
A truly selfish act is not one where a person acts in their own self interest, but one where a person Only acts in their own self interest, to the neglect or detriment of another.
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