Are You More Attracted to the Happy-Go-Lucky Type, or the Tortured Soul?

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Encouragement

Well-known member
Aug 25, 2020
1,488
1,298
113
#61
I had a horrendously tough childhood in some ways. I could do with a hug now but don't want to be a drain or self pitying . I just need a hug

Sorry
IMG_20200203_000711_839.jpg
This is from me to you...I know nothing can replace a real life comforting hug to help ease the violent inner trauma of emotional/psychological pain.Yet i care enough to let you know that iam touched by your comment and I can hear your silent scream..💕
 
G

Gojira

Guest
#63
Hey Everyone,

When it comes to romantic attraction, do you tend to be more drawn to the "happy-go-lucky" (optimistic, cheerful, able to shrug off adversity, the glass is always half-full types,) or are you more taken in by a thorn-laden, tortured soul?

I know there are no absolute answers and mostly in-betweens, but I was pondering this question for myself and thought it would be interesting to see what you all have to say about your own preferences.

I also realize that because of sin and the way the world is today, "happy-go-lucky" types might also be nearly impossible to find. We ALL have thorns in our souls somewhere, so I guess what I'm really thinking about is the way people react to or deal with them.

For years, I was like a moth to the flame when it came to pain-laden, tortured souls because I used to think that there was something I could do to help, which is what I found fulfilling.

Over the years, one of the most important lessons I've learned (through a lot of trial and error, and mostly error,)is that some people cling on to their thorns tightly and don't want them removed (because it brings them attention or benefit - just look at daytime talk shows or even within the church.) And, even if a thorn is removed, its beholder might take out all the resulting pain on the one who is trying to help, or is closest to them.

Because of this, it's made be a lot more cautious about whom I get close to (whether in friendships or dating,) though it hasn't really changed my "nature" or preference. When it comes to romantic attraction especially, I am still often drawn to a tortured soul who is genuinely trying his best, while not making excuses or blaming others for his own subsequent choices.

I know it sounds crazy, but I wonder if I would feel rather useless if the other person didn't need me to somehow help him with his thorns.

And, it has me thinking about how I deal with my own thorns as well.

How about the rest of you?

* Are you more attracted to positive, optimistic people, or the darker, brooding types, and why do you think that is?

* On which end of the scale do you consider your own self to be?

* If you are attracted to those on one side of the scale, do you think you would, or could be, attracted to the opposite? (Or at least, someone who is more of what you normally attracted to.) Why or why r?

I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts. :)
This reminds me of...

 

HealthAndHappiness

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2022
10,250
4,294
113
Almost Heaven West Virginia
#67
Love the whhiiiiinnnnerrs!
I haven't seen it for a looong time. I think that little girl in the second skit is drew Barrymore, but I might be wrong.
I saw this again when I looked for the Jersey guy.
I used to have a drama class in HS. There were two friends that would do these skits constantly. It was funny the first tiiiiime.😕
😄
Castanza's a riot.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#68
that looks like Drew Barrymore
She seemed to always play happy go lucky types in movies. I remember one called 50 First dates. Hilarious.

Its funny how Hollywood stereotypes characters eg blondes are always happy go lucky and dark haired/brunettes are always tortured. You dont get blonde witches or happy go lucky emos.

its like hair colour represents your mood/personality. lol
 

HealthAndHappiness

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2022
10,250
4,294
113
Almost Heaven West Virginia
#69
that looks like Drew Barrymore
She seemed to always play happy go lucky types in movies. I remember one called 50 First dates. Hilarious.

Its funny how Hollywood stereotypes characters eg blondes are always happy go lucky and dark haired/brunettes are always tortured. You dont get blonde witches or happy go lucky emos.

its like hair colour represents your mood/personality. lol
I went to the YouTube description and that's right. But she broke the stereotype. Lol

"A nun (Mary Gross) thinks no one will ever adopt Wanda (Drew Barrymore), a young orphan girl who complains a about everything... until she meets Doug and Wendy Whiner (Joe Piscopo and Robin Duke). [Season 8, 1982]"
 

TheNarrowPath

Well-known member
Jul 17, 2022
1,012
548
113
#70
Hey Everyone,

When it comes to romantic attraction, do you tend to be more drawn to the "happy-go-lucky" (optimistic, cheerful, able to shrug off adversity, the glass is always half-full types,) or are you more taken in by a thorn-laden, tortured soul?

I know there are no absolute answers and mostly in-betweens, but I was pondering this question for myself and thought it would be interesting to see what you all have to say about your own preferences.

I also realize that because of sin and the way the world is today, "happy-go-lucky" types might also be nearly impossible to find. We ALL have thorns in our souls somewhere, so I guess what I'm really thinking about is the way people react to or deal with them.

For years, I was like a moth to the flame when it came to pain-laden, tortured souls because I used to think that there was something I could do to help, which is what I found fulfilling.

Over the years, one of the most important lessons I've learned (through a lot of trial and error, and mostly error,)is that some people cling on to their thorns tightly and don't want them removed (because it brings them attention or benefit - just look at daytime talk shows or even within the church.) And, even if a thorn is removed, its beholder might take out all the resulting pain on the one who is trying to help, or is closest to them.

Because of this, it's made be a lot more cautious about whom I get close to (whether in friendships or dating,) though it hasn't really changed my "nature" or preference. When it comes to romantic attraction especially, I am still often drawn to a tortured soul who is genuinely trying his best, while not making excuses or blaming others for his own subsequent choices.

I know it sounds crazy, but I wonder if I would feel rather useless if the other person didn't need me to somehow help him with his thorns.

And, it has me thinking about how I deal with my own thorns as well.

How about the rest of you?

* Are you more attracted to positive, optimistic people, or the darker, brooding types, and why do you think that is?

* On which end of the scale do you consider your own self to be?

* If you are attracted to those on one side of the scale, do you think you would, or could be, attracted to the opposite? (Or at least, someone who is more of what you normally attracted to.) Why or why r?

I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts. :)
I am more romantically attracted to a sense of humour and a problem solver. I think this is because my mum was hilarious and my dad liked to solve issues, it was who they were. So I find that a funny guy is easy enough to find but a guy that has a need to sort things out for those he cares about is a harder find.
In my experience happy go lucky guys are easier to deal with as long as they show other sides of their personality. Tortured souls are better left to professionals and your mental health will thank you later. Its just really depressing being around them when they are stuck in victim mode all the time as Ive found out.
 
G

Gojira

Guest
#71
I haven't seen it for a looong time. I think that little girl in the second skit is drew Barrymore, but I might be wrong.
I saw this again when I looked for the Jersey guy.
I used to have a drama class in HS. There were two friends that would do these skits constantly. It was funny the first tiiiiime.😕
😄
Castanza's a riot.
Have you ever seen Debby Downer? Particularly, the first one, in Disneyland?
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,243
9,303
113
#73
I am more romantically attracted to a sense of humour and a problem solver. I think this is because my mum was hilarious and my dad liked to solve issues, it was who they were. So I find that a funny guy is easy enough to find but a guy that has a need to sort things out for those he cares about is a harder find.
That's what almost every woman I know says. Yet here I am, still single.

Mind you, I'm not complaining. I'm enjoying life. But it seems like a contradiction. I'm not exactly having to beat girls off with a stick over here.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#74
negative nellies are depressing to be around so not sure what the attraction is personally

I think theres certain types of humour that you supposed to get. I dont enjoy sarcastic, put people down type humour which can be offensive.

Im more into funny light hearted witty humour..so it would be more Joey than Chandler. But then comedy duos always have to have light and shade. Most ppl are a mix and they'll probably attract whatever it is they dont have. Wheras a well rounded person , a whole person doesnt feel the need to attract anybody? They just are themselves.

People are naturally attracted to the light arent they? i.e Jesus says we are to be salt and light.
 

HealthAndHappiness

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2022
10,250
4,294
113
Almost Heaven West Virginia
#76
Nope, not wrong! You are correct (y):) I recognized her right away :D
You have a better eye for recognizing her than I do. I wasn't sure until I read the description.
She was a good little actress back then. Those kids stayed in character and she was so expressive.
 

HealthAndHappiness

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2022
10,250
4,294
113
Almost Heaven West Virginia
#78
No.... it was Rachel Dratch (spelling??) who played a negative Nelly, and my goodness did they take it to a silly extreme.
I JUST got done watching that on SNL. I was curious what"ride" at Disney land you were talking about. 😆
The search took me to the snl channel.
 

TheNarrowPath

Well-known member
Jul 17, 2022
1,012
548
113
#79
That's what almost every woman I know says. Yet here I am, still single.

Mind you, I'm not complaining. I'm enjoying life. But it seems like a contradiction. I'm not exactly having to beat girls off with a stick over here.
At least youre honest about it and not one of those guys always going on about how all the women are interested in him.

Youre starting to grow on me dang it! 😎
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,243
9,303
113
#80
At least youre honest about it and not one of those guys always going on about how all the women are interested in him.

Youre starting to grow on me dang it! 😎
And THAT is how you know you've been here too long. :p