What annoys me about people telling single Christians about dating
- Thread starter JohnB
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I suppose it is possible to find a woman who is that 'practical' as opposed to the romantic type. Our culture sets up certain expectations regarding romance, and there are certain social norms... and these have been exported all over the world for 100 years through film and other media.
They have a TV show where supposed experts set up people to get married. Marriages fall apart on that show because, even though they are getting married this 'practical' way, many of the people on the show bring in all these Hollywood movie ideas of love and romance, and if that isn't there, some of them go back on their commitment and dump their spouses. The experts, including a professional pastor, practically give them permission to divorce on the show.
As far as what you propose, if they are Christians, the husband is committed to love his wife and the wife is committed to submit to her husband.... if neither of them are bound by marriage or engagement to another, and their parents (or at least her parents) agree and properly participate, I don't see a problem with it.
The Bible says, "Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church...." It does not command "Husbands be in love with your wives before you get married." Proverbs say to rejoice with the wife of your youth. It is good to have loving and romantic feelings and all that, but arranged marriages have been around for thousands of years and feelings can also grow and develop over time.
I do notice the Old Testament commanded the Israelites to take wives for their sons and give your daughters to husbands. Jesus spoke of giving in marriage occurring until the eschatological events occurred that he mentioned in the Gospel. One way of interpreting some of Paul's teaching sin I Corinthians 7 is as referring to a father giving a virgin daughter in marriage. Lack of parental involvement... and recognition for the need for their approval (at least the father of a non-widowed bride if he is still alive) may be part of the reason for marriages breaking down and one of many reasons why it is so hard for some to find a spouse.
They have a TV show where supposed experts set up people to get married. Marriages fall apart on that show because, even though they are getting married this 'practical' way, many of the people on the show bring in all these Hollywood movie ideas of love and romance, and if that isn't there, some of them go back on their commitment and dump their spouses. The experts, including a professional pastor, practically give them permission to divorce on the show.
As far as what you propose, if they are Christians, the husband is committed to love his wife and the wife is committed to submit to her husband.... if neither of them are bound by marriage or engagement to another, and their parents (or at least her parents) agree and properly participate, I don't see a problem with it.
The Bible says, "Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church...." It does not command "Husbands be in love with your wives before you get married." Proverbs say to rejoice with the wife of your youth. It is good to have loving and romantic feelings and all that, but arranged marriages have been around for thousands of years and feelings can also grow and develop over time.
I do notice the Old Testament commanded the Israelites to take wives for their sons and give your daughters to husbands. Jesus spoke of giving in marriage occurring until the eschatological events occurred that he mentioned in the Gospel. One way of interpreting some of Paul's teaching sin I Corinthians 7 is as referring to a father giving a virgin daughter in marriage. Lack of parental involvement... and recognition for the need for their approval (at least the father of a non-widowed bride if he is still alive) may be part of the reason for marriages breaking down and one of many reasons why it is so hard for some to find a spouse.
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Of course, the bible does not command the husband to be in love with their prospective wife before they are married because that is an emotion based on feelings rather than loving your wife which is based on action. Still, loving and romantic feelings are a critical element, and intimacy too, otherwise why get married in the first place?
Lack of romance and intimacy is a recipe for a cold marriage and eventually would erode it.
The bible does state for wives to submit to their husbands but does not state that the husbands should command this. A wife is not the personal slave of the husband and expected to become a slave that must wait and serve his every whim and desire or have no say on anything of importance.
Husbands would do well to love their wives in their actions and to be in love with their wives in their emotions as well.
Lack of romance and intimacy is a recipe for a cold marriage and eventually would erode it.
The bible does state for wives to submit to their husbands but does not state that the husbands should command this. A wife is not the personal slave of the husband and expected to become a slave that must wait and serve his every whim and desire or have no say on anything of importance.
Husbands would do well to love their wives in their actions and to be in love with their wives in their emotions as well.
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No it is not. Hollyweird queers and Disney pedos. Have lied to you. The Bible continually warms us that the heart or emotions of humans is deceitful and not to be trusted.
In the command for a man to love his wife God in his wisdom designed a perfect system. Because this level of personal investment produces emotional attachment as the relationship grows, and it will be real, not stupid mindless romantic drivel.
In the command for a man to love his wife God in his wisdom designed a perfect system. Because this level of personal investment produces emotional attachment as the relationship grows, and it will be real, not stupid mindless romantic drivel.
I hardly believe that having romantic and intimate feelings towards the wife that you love are deceitful. Personally, I enjoy the romantic and intimate feelings that my wife and I both share with each other.
There is also such a thing as discernment that the Holy Spirit will give you in certain measure if you pray for it to determine whether or not the heart or emotions is deceitful. When wisdom is applied the heart and emotions can be channeled into a positive spiritual direction pleasing to the Lord.
Anger is an emotion too, one that Jesus displayed when he got a whip and started to flip over the money changers tables in his father's house. I don't believe that the heart and emotion Jesus displayed was deceitful either. I don't trust my feelings, but I do trust God to channel my feelings in a positive spiritual direction.
Not sure what the Hollywood queers and Disney pedos reference is applicable to having a healthy loving vibrant marriage. Don't get that at all.
In what sense is a heartfelt emotional attachment to your spouse is not also deceitful and distrustful? You say that the heart and emotions are stupid mindless romantic drivel and at the same time say that applying wisdom produces an emotional attachment as the relationship grows. Makes no sense to me whatsoever. Either the heart and emotions are deceitful, or they are not. Wisdom dictates that they cannot be both at the same time.
I thought you and I were on the same page in matters of the heart and emotion in marriage. Oh well, guess that is not the case.
I think that I will surprise my wife with flowers sometime soon. It may be a stupid thing to do but she may love me for doing it. It may be drivel but that's how I roll 'em. It may also produce romantic intimate emotional feelings too that may be acted upon. It's not so bad if you think about it.
Right now I'm trending towards chocolates too. It may be stupid and mindless, but I'll take my chances,
"I'll take my chances,
I forgot how nice romance is.
I haven't been there for the longest time.'
There is also such a thing as discernment that the Holy Spirit will give you in certain measure if you pray for it to determine whether or not the heart or emotions is deceitful. When wisdom is applied the heart and emotions can be channeled into a positive spiritual direction pleasing to the Lord.
Anger is an emotion too, one that Jesus displayed when he got a whip and started to flip over the money changers tables in his father's house. I don't believe that the heart and emotion Jesus displayed was deceitful either. I don't trust my feelings, but I do trust God to channel my feelings in a positive spiritual direction.
Not sure what the Hollywood queers and Disney pedos reference is applicable to having a healthy loving vibrant marriage. Don't get that at all.
In what sense is a heartfelt emotional attachment to your spouse is not also deceitful and distrustful? You say that the heart and emotions are stupid mindless romantic drivel and at the same time say that applying wisdom produces an emotional attachment as the relationship grows. Makes no sense to me whatsoever. Either the heart and emotions are deceitful, or they are not. Wisdom dictates that they cannot be both at the same time.
I thought you and I were on the same page in matters of the heart and emotion in marriage. Oh well, guess that is not the case.
I think that I will surprise my wife with flowers sometime soon. It may be a stupid thing to do but she may love me for doing it. It may be drivel but that's how I roll 'em. It may also produce romantic intimate emotional feelings too that may be acted upon. It's not so bad if you think about it.
Right now I'm trending towards chocolates too. It may be stupid and mindless, but I'll take my chances,
"I'll take my chances,
I forgot how nice romance is.
I haven't been there for the longest time.'
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