Seemingly different spouses

[kittysnax]

How rude! Your name fits you. It must carry blood on it.

 

[kittysnax]

I'm sorry to have to ask this, but are you married to a man or a woman?

Why does it matter?

 

[HealthAndHappiness]

My Dad came to Bible studies and church with me a few years but wouldn't/ couldn't interact in discussions about a topic or anything spiritual like that. I was just glad that we were able to attend together. Then one day at dinner I asked him if he were to die today if he were 100% sure If he would go to heaven?
Then we talked about this exact subject in the video I'm going to post for you and your husband. I'm very grateful my Dad made a decision to receive the gift of everlasting life that evening. I didn't know at the time that he would leave this world two months later.
I hope that this is helpful. I'm available to answer any questions that you might have.
If I'm off line,. I will try to get back in 24 hours.

 

[Aslanfriend]

I feel like I'm in the same boat. My husband believes Jesus died for his sins and that's as far as it goes. He prayed the sinners prayer when he was 5 and believes he has been saved ever since and went to church his whole life. I, however, had a major conversion experience when I was 18 and up to that point was raised by an atheist who told me I evolved from apes, and a non-practicing Catholic who is agnostic now.
I'm glad my husband goes to church sometimes with me, but he's kinda antisocial and jets immediately out of service as soon as it's over. He won't do anything extra: worship nights, special teachings, men's groups, Bible studies, etc. He doesn't even read scripture. EVER. For any reason. I love the Bible and have learned so much over the years, but his response is, "I know what it all says. I've heard every sermon on every topic in there you can think of. And I read it all the way through once." I get SO frustrated to tears sometimes for his lack of enthusiasm for the Lord. He has many vices as well, but I won't go into all that because it's personal and I won't defame him on a platform like this.
We also have one adult daughter who at one point said she was an atheist, but now I think she is agnostic. She comes to church with us, at least. Being a daddy's girl, she has always looked up to him on how to live. Dad doesn't care about reading the Bible, so neither does she, etc. and Mom is the crazy Jesus-freak lady.

 

[Live4Him3]

I'm sorry to have to ask this, but are you married to a man or a woman?

Why does it matter?

It matters because the only type of marriage that God accepts is that between a man and a woman.

 

[Beckie]

mm
I think there are boy churches and then there are girl churches

but they just call them mens groups and womens groups
when people get married, churches like to split them up into different groups, but they usually meet on different nights, so that at least one person stays home wiht the children or you'll get robbed.

Although, if they do meet at the same time, as one church I know does, they go to different cafes. I once asked why dont they just all meet in one place or swap and my church member friend was like no that has never happened! And she looked shocked that I would suggest it. Mens groups are for men and womens groups are for women ONLY!

Sad what we do to one flesh.

 

[FreeGrace2]

My mom was more outgoing, by far, about her faith, both verbally and action-wise. I always thought my dad should be more the spiritual leader, but he wasn't. Both would go to church though, just different ones.

Now I feel like I am in the same situation myself, where I get "ga ga" about spiritual things, musically, Bible reading, spiritual book-reading, speakers, workshops, basically anything. My spouse doesn't. Sometimes it seems to be a time-related thing, but other than that I think the most spiritual anything for (spouse) is going to church (will put some other things ahead of church) and claiming to pray and pay attention/think about the messages at church. But at church (spouse) is basically reactionless, and it concerns me many a time, but has sounded defensive when asked about the seemingly lack of interest in it.

When I want to attend, join, or take an interest in something spiritual outside of church I feel alone in it, because I never see much enthusiasm about such things on (spouse's ) part. If (spouse has to miss some services I don't see him/her seeking to find out what they missed It puts a damper on me and I have a hard time wanting to express myself. I go head over heels in love with a particular type music, but I think (spouse) doesn't get into music --maybe because raised in a not-so-musical family?

People of the opposite gender or who I see living more outspoken and active in their faith get to looking appealing, yet make me sad that my spouse "can't " be like that too. I often feel unequally yoked.

If anybody else has been in my position and been able to overcome the lonely, quasi-unequally-yoked feeling, and managed to view your spouse with a more loving and accepting lense, to where you can be yourself in how you worship, please let me know.

When the Bible tells believers to "not be unequally yoked" it is referring to not marrying an unsaved person, or be a business partner with an unsaved person.

 

[HealthAndHappiness]

I feel like I'm in the same boat. My husband believes Jesus died for his sins and that's as far as it goes. He prayed the sinners prayer when he was 5 and believes he has been saved ever since and went to church his whole life. I, however, had a major conversion experience when I was 18 and up to that point was raised by an atheist who told me I evolved from apes, and a non-practicing Catholic who is agnostic now.
I'm glad my husband goes to church sometimes with me, but he's kinda antisocial and jets immediately out of service as soon as it's over. He won't do anything extra: worship nights, special teachings, men's groups, Bible studies, etc. He doesn't even read scripture. EVER. For any reason. I love the Bible and have learned so much over the years, but his response is, "I know what it all says. I've heard every sermon on every topic in there you can think of. And I read it all the way through once." I get SO frustrated to tears sometimes for his lack of enthusiasm for the Lord. He has many vices as well, but I won't go into all that because it's personal and I won't defame him on a platform like this.
We also have one adult daughter who at one point said she was an atheist, but now I think she is agnostic. She comes to church with us, at least. Being a daddy's girl, she has always looked up to him on how to live. Dad doesn't care about reading the Bible, so neither does she, etc. and Mom is the crazy Jesus-freak lady.

My heart goes out to you Asianfriend.
To me it's encouraging that Timothy had a mother and grandmother who played an active role in him becoming one of the most famous pastors in history. I think that the biggest problem for most of us is allowing the public schools to influence children. They are influenced by unbelievers from early morning through the most productive hours of each day for at least 12 years. Much of that time is spent undermining what faith is in a child.

I would study videos on how to lead someone to Christ and set a goal for that on the calendar. Then witness to your daughter when she's in a good mood and open to conversation. I have all the videos available for the asking any time. I will pray for your daughter's salvation.

H&H

 

[FredVB]

My heart goes out to you Asianfriend.
To me it's encouraging that Timothy had a mother and grandmother who played an active role in him becoming one of the most famous pastors in history. I think that the biggest problem for most of us is allowing the public schools to influence children. They are influenced by unbelievers from early morning through the most productive hours of each day for at least 12 years. Much of that time is spent undermining what faith is in a child.

I would study videos on how to lead someone to Christ and set a goal for that on the calendar. Then witness to your daughter when she's in a good mood and open to conversation. I have all the videos available for the asking any time. I will pray for your daughter's salvation.

Schools are very much being used to mold the young generation to be what the state wants them to be, to fit in and function with rest which serves the state, and be dependent on that way of life, to not be independent. It is not the same as the aim of any parents, for whom it would be a better choice if they would manage it to educate their own children themselves.

 

[HealthAndHappiness]

Schools are very much being used to mold the young generation to be what the state wants them to be, to fit in and function with rest which serves the state, and be dependent on that way of life, to not be independent. It is not the same as the aim of any parents, for whom it would be a better choice if they would manage it to educate their own children themselves.

Your comment reminded me of two points of agreement.

The Prussian model of education that government education is based on throughout most of the world now has that goal. The large corporations set it up the way it is for their benefit rather than that of families and children.

There was a story of a boy two weeks ago who tragically died in a drowning accident. His family were all disabled. The father was wheel chair bound and mother blind. In spite of that, they home schooled him and nurtured his interests. He achieved more by his early teens than most do their entire lives. I looked and can't find the story yet. Maybe I will be able and post it.

 

[kittysnax]

It matters because the only type of marriage that God accepts is that between a man and a woman.

Oh, I see. It's a man/woman marriage. So no worries there.

 

[kittysnax]

Your comment reminded me of two points of agreement.

The Prussian model of education that government education is based on throughout most of the world now has that goal. The large corporations set it up the way it is for their benefit rather than that of families and children.

There was a story of a boy two weeks ago who tragically died in a drowning accident. His family were all disabled. The father was wheel chair bound and mother blind. In spite of that, they home schooled him and nurtured his interests. He achieved more by his early teens than most do their entire lives. I looked and can't find the story yet. Maybe I will be able and post it.

If you are responding to my situation, I fail to see what you said above has to do with my situation.

 

[kittysnax]

I've read the responses above, and it's starting to look like a group discussion where everybody starts talking to everybody else. So I'm lost. And some responses really sound like they have nothing to do with the subject at hand, so I don't know what's going on. That's partly what I mean by it starting with one subject, but then everybody starts getting off the subject.

From the responses related to my post on here, I get the feeling this is wide-spread among men--acting like they do their Sunday "duty"

 

[HealthAndHappiness]

Schools are very much being used to mold the young generation to be what the state wants them to be, to fit in and function with rest which serves the state, and be dependent on that way of life, to not be independent. It is not the same as the aim of any parents, for whom it would be a better choice if they would manage it to educate their own children themselves.

Here you go Fred.
I forgot the "boy's" name and it took me a long time to find his Twitter feed and article summary about him. Check this young man's life out. Inspiring and Amazing!

https://twitter.com/thecolesummers

Article:

https://fee.org/articles/unschooler-entrepreneur-prodigy-the-story-of-cole-summers/

 

[HealthAndHappiness]

If you are responding to my situation, I fail to see what you said above has to do with my situation.

No Kittysnax, I was responding to Fred's post to me that time.

My previous post near the top of this page was directed to you though. I hope you had time to read it, listen to the message and that it provided some help.

Have a good night.

 

[Angela53510]

My husband led me to the Lord. But he wasn't going to church ever. I knew I had to be in church, and dragged him along with me. He thanked me for that. He was basically too shy to go to church on his own. Apparently he saved his tithes for years and years. He dumped all the money in an offering basket, one week, but would give his name so he never got an income tax receipt0. His loss!

I was very on fire for God! Went to every meeting dragging my husband. I always read my Bible daily, and so was he. Then one day, he stopped reading regularly then, not at all!

Should I have followed him, as he fell away from God? Of course not, nor did he want me too. He had some very erroneous beliefs about soteriology. He literally began to think he had lost his salvation. I began to wonder if I had, too. It was such a bad time, and I felt far from God.

About that point, I learned about eternal security. I started memorizing Bible passages, and really studying how we are saved. I knew I was not capable of earning my salvation, and I knew God had saved me, nothing if my own will! So if God had saved me, did he make a mistake? Did he picked the wrong person? Was he wrong?

Of course not! God is mighty and sovereign. He never let me slip away, even when I turned my back in him, when I was depressed from RA, and Word Faith people telling me I didn't have enough faith to be healed. My husband spent a lot of years far from God. I prayed for him diligently to come back to God. We started attending Baptist churches with excellent preachers and theology. But he never grew at all. Being in church was just a ritual to earn brownie posts to go to heaven. He really was working to be saved. Yet, 25 years earlier, he shared the gospel and God saved me.

At least he still went to church, but he was so intimidated. Meanwhile, I was in seminary, studying the Bible, under the influence of godly professors, and so many wonderful talks with the other students and God's call in their lives. -at least he was going to church, right? Then he started drinking, and trying to act out evil things. Should I have followed him then?

I did not! He had abdicated his responsibility as head of the house. My path was to follow God. From the day God saved me, I never lost the importance of God's miracle in saving a wicked sinner like me.

Since January I've been recovering from long COVID. I'm exhausted, in pain because my RA meds were not working, he wasn't going to church. Then one day he got up and started going in his own. He went on his own for months. I got on new meds, started improving. I went with him a few times, this Sunday I will be hopefully playing and singing in my worship team. I'm not totally better, but I am just going to push myself.

So, my husband did really change! It was God that led him back. I'd like to see him praying and reading his Bible more, but God is leading and changing him.

As for the OP, stop worrying about all the rigid thinking that he has to be the head of the house. Don't ever stop following God, and pray for him to either become on fire, or wake up to his need for God. Continue to model God's love and mercy! God answers prayer. Give God time to do a work in his life! Even if it takes 42 years, like it was for me!

 

[HealthAndHappiness]

My husband led me to the Lord. But he wasn't going to church ever. I knew I had to be in church, and dragged him along with me. He thanked me for that. He was basically too shy to go to church on his own. Apparently he saved his tithes for years and years. He dumped all the money in an offering basket, one week, but would give his name so he never got an income tax receipt0. His loss!

I was very on fire for God! Went to every meeting dragging my husband. I always read my Bible daily, and so was he. Then one day, he stopped reading regularly then, not at all!

Should I have followed him, as he fell away from God? Of course not, nor did he want me too. He had some very erroneous beliefs about soteriology. He literally began to think he had lost his salvation. I began to wonder if I had, too. It was such a bad time, and I felt far from God.

About that point, I learned about eternal security. I started memorizing Bible passages, and really studying how we are saved. I knew I was not capable of earning my salvation, and I knew God had saved me, nothing if my own will! So if God had saved me, did he make a mistake? Did he picked the wrong person? Was he wrong?

Of course not! God is mighty and sovereign. He never let me slip away, even when I turned my back in him, when I was depressed from RA, and Word Faith people telling me I didn't have enough faith to be healed. My husband spent a lot of years far from God. I prayed for him diligently to come back to God. We started attending Baptist churches with excellent preachers and theology. But he never grew at all. Being in church was just a ritual to earn brownie posts to go to heaven. He really was working to be saved. Yet, 25 years earlier, he shared the gospel and God saved me.

At least he still went to church, but he was so intimidated. Meanwhile, I was in seminary, studying the Bible, under the influence of godly professors, and so many wonderful talks with the other students and God's call in their lives. -at least he was going to church, right? Then he started drinking, and trying to act out evil things. Should I have followed him then?

I did not! He had abdicated his responsibility as head of the house. My path was to follow God. From the day God saved me, I never lost the importance of God's miracle in saving a wicked sinner like me.

Since January I've been recovering from long COVID. I'm exhausted, in pain because my RA meds were not working, he wasn't going to church. Then one day he got up and started going in his own. He went on his own for months. I got on new meds, started improving. I went with him a few times, this Sunday I will be hopefully playing and singing in my worship team. I'm not totally better, but I am just going to push myself.

So, my husband did really change! It was God that led him back. I'd like to see him praying and reading his Bible more, but God is leading and changing him.

As for the OP, stop worrying about all the rigid thinking that he has to be the head of the house. Don't ever stop following God, and pray for him to either become on fire, or wake up to his need for God. Continue to model God's love and mercy! God answers prayer. Give God time to do a work in his life! Even if it takes 42 years, like it was for me!

First, I hope that you were not given Remdesivir for Covid.
https://www.brighteon.com/f51d7811-3be8-4bfd-8817-6303d2c19baf

 

[HealthAndHappiness]

My husband led me to the Lord. But he wasn't going to church ever. I knew I had to be in church, and dragged him along with me. He thanked me for that. He was basically too shy to go to church on his own. Apparently he saved his tithes for years and years. He dumped all the money in an offering basket, one week, but would give his name so he never got an income tax receipt0. His loss!

I was very on fire for God! Went to every meeting dragging my husband. I always read my Bible daily, and so was he. Then one day, he stopped reading regularly then, not at all!

Should I have followed him, as he fell away from God? Of course not, nor did he want me too. He had some very erroneous beliefs about soteriology. He literally began to think he had lost his salvation. I began to wonder if I had, too. It was such a bad time, and I felt far from God.

About that point, I learned about eternal security. I started memorizing Bible passages, and really studying how we are saved. I knew I was not capable of earning my salvation, and I knew God had saved me, nothing if my own will! So if God had saved me, did he make a mistake? Did he picked the wrong person? Was he wrong?

Of course not! God is mighty and sovereign. He never let me slip away, even when I turned my back in him, when I was depressed from RA, and Word Faith people telling me I didn't have enough faith to be healed. My husband spent a lot of years far from God. I prayed for him diligently to come back to God. We started attending Baptist churches with excellent preachers and theology. But he never grew at all. Being in church was just a ritual to earn brownie posts to go to heaven. He really was working to be saved. Yet, 25 years earlier, he shared the gospel and God saved me.

At least he still went to church, but he was so intimidated. Meanwhile, I was in seminary, studying the Bible, under the influence of godly professors, and so many wonderful talks with the other students and God's call in their lives. -at least he was going to church, right? Then he started drinking, and trying to act out evil things. Should I have followed him then?

I did not! He had abdicated his responsibility as head of the house. My path was to follow God. From the day God saved me, I never lost the importance of God's miracle in saving a wicked sinner like me.

Since January I've been recovering from long COVID. I'm exhausted, in pain because my RA meds were not working, he wasn't going to church. Then one day he got up and started going in his own. He went on his own for months. I got on new meds, started improving. I went with him a few times, this Sunday I will be hopefully playing and singing in my worship team. I'm not totally better, but I am just going to push myself.

So, my husband did really change! It was God that led him back. I'd like to see him praying and reading his Bible more, but God is leading and changing him.

As for the OP, stop worrying about all the rigid thinking that he has to be the head of the house. Don't ever stop following God, and pray for him to either become on fire, or wake up to his need for God. Continue to model God's love and mercy! God answers prayer. Give God time to do a work in his life! Even if it takes 42 years, like it was for me!

Touching testimony Angela.
Never give up on your spouse and keep loving God. Very good advice.

My Dad was an awesome father.
Like your husband, he was a bit introverted in crowds. He came to church for years though. I think it was mostly to be with me and share in that activity. One thing that bothered me was his lack of response to questions and conversations about the Bible.
One day out of the blue, we were about to sit down to dinner we started talking about John 3:16. Before dinner, he decided to trust Jesus Christ to save him. Note that he did not decide to "give his life to Christ", or "ask Jesus into his heart.". There are a LOT more false gospels I've heard in every kind of church under the sun, than true gospels. The response is very important, because if he were to give his life to Christ or some variation on the theme, he would not be saved. Most preachers and even many baptist/ evangelicals mess this up bad.
I don't know if that is why your husband took so long to get saved or not. However, it's the most common reason.

Here's one that I agree with. I'm curious as to what you think. I have to get to work, so have a good day!

Health and happiness

 

[Dirtman]

I havent bothered to speak on this because so many variables.
You criticize your "spouse" for not liking music. Have ya ever thought that maybe ; dont like your kind of music, and judging by your music; knows you won't like theirs (spouse's). I was a musician and can hardly stand music today. I was a church musician.

Also maybe spouse dont like yalls church because a bunch of nonsense, and you love that "nonsense". (I dont know I dont go your church). Mayhaps spouse dont find the things yalls pastor say compelling at all because, maybe its not at all compelling, but they see you love it so they go for your sake. (I dont know this of coarse, I'm not there) this is all conjecture, but its possible. I have seen it.
So maybe instead of battering in the spouses head you evaluate the circumstances. Maybe stop being so loud and give ole spouse a bit of a chance to be honest about it.

 

[Aslanfriend]

Can someone please explain the difference between the phrases "believe ON" and "believe IN"? What does believe ON Jesus mean? The English I grew up with means I believe IN Jesus....I trust IN Him, not ON Him. I just don't get the "On" thing.... Is it a Southern thing or a Baptist term maybe? I rarely hear anyone in church say believing ON. Someone please explain because I've wondered about this for awhile.