***Breaking News***
Bearded wise-men dressed in black clothes and wearing dark sunglasses have rescued beloved Jennymaesian Empress from a cave on the border of the badlands formerly known as Rubyland.
The rescue occurred moments before one of the Empress' captors could apply banana-flavoured, green lipstick to her otherwise healthy, untainted, Ruby-red lips and make her a pariah of Jennymaesia in accordance with the Jennymaesian penal code. According to a press statement given by Jennymaesian police, the kidnappers initially presumed the rescuers to be some sort of religious sect lost in the wasteland sands.
"Their clothes were black, they had long beards, and they wore those funny black hats atop their heads", one kidnapper confessed. "We naturally presumed them to be a group of wandering rabbis who'd lost their way whilst trying to navigate through the badlands to the closest synagogue."
"It was only when they started with the martial arts we realised they were more likely some form of ninja... but by then it was too late. Most of our group had been neutralised by the time Countess Kar - I mean - uhhhhh - our leader was ready to perform the ritual to deform the Empress' beautiful lips..."
Video tapes confiscated from the primitive criminal operation confirmed the kidnapper's account. It would appear the reason for the video recording was that the kidnappers had intended at some stage to make public their barbarous treatment of the Empress, although the motivation for this additional cruelty is as yet unclear.
The video tapes showed an ugly, presumably-female leader, bearing striking resemblance to Jennymaesia's own Countess Karen. The terrorist leader had just protracted some nefarious green lipstick from its tube, when a tall, mysterious figure - wearing similar apparel to that of the other dark-garbed, bearded wise-men - lifted the terrorist leader by the throat and cut the bonds binding the beloved Empress to a chair. The mysterious rescuer, together with the apparently captive terrorist leader and the bearded wise men proceeded to depart from the cave area in a van.
Jennymaesian police attended the scene some 15 minutes after these events, having received a tip-off from the dark rescuers. All criminals but the presumed leader were found constrained within used-car tyres. Beloved Empress Jennymae is reportedly in good spirits, having joked that the experience "would likely have been one of the worst honeymoons experienced by any newly-wed in her empire". Jennymaesia's newest Emperor - Jomés Band, has expressed his deep relief for the return of the nation's treasure, despite his reservations about the mysterious origins of the rescuers.
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