I went to Dispensational churches with Armenian theology the first 15 years I was saved. The whole idea that you could lose your salvation, creeped me out. I know someone that still is not sure he is saved 45 years after becoming a Christian, because of this heinous Arminian doctrine. For me, I was sure God saved me, but I did get pulled down by the constant repetitions that we could lose our salvation because of our actions, when I KNEW God was in control.
So, in my many read through the Bible, I started copying down verses that supported each side. Other than the Hebrews 6 verse (which I later found out needs a different kind of interpretation!) and everything else supported eternal security. I also know I did not pick myself to be saved. I tried hard to be saved. Watched gospel shows, said sinner's prayers, and I knew my heart was black. One day, my husband told me I needed to repent of my sins, and I heard John 3:16 in my head! I knew I was saved, not because of my works, obedience, but because God had called me, and the Holy Spirit had changed my heart. I went from being a dead person, to God giving me a new heart.
"As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, 2 in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. 3 All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our flesh and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath. 4 But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, 5 made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved." Eph. 2:1-5
I learned more about the sovereignty of God. Like anyone would walk away from God! As 1 John 2:19 says:
"They went out from us, but they did not really belong to us, because if they had belonged to us, they would have remained with us. But they went out from us to demonstrate that all of them do not belong to us" 1 John 2:19
Anyone who says they are saved and walks away, was never saved by God. We are saved by the power of the Holy Spirit, who also gives us the strength to follow. When I first got RA, I was not on good meds, and in constant pain. I turned away from God. I stopped reading my Bible daily and praying. But, after 2 years God started calling me back and told me to read 5 Psalms a day, like Billy Graham did. It was wonderful to read what God's people had written. I read 5 Psalms a day for 2 years. One day, I turned around. I knew God had been there all the time, waiting for me to turn back to him. He never left me. He picked me for his purposes. He also knows I will hold on till Christ returns. That is all that matters, although I have tried to obey, and serve God with all my heart.
So glad I am not subject to a doctrine that breeds a fear of God, but instead, the bible tells me that he will "never leave or forsake me." Hebrews 13:5.
Nor will we ever reach sinless perfection in this life. When God saves us here is what happens:
1. Justification: God saves us. It is monergism. Only 1- God alone can save us. " Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ," Romans 5:1
2. Sanctification. This is God working together with us to refine our hearts and minds to become more like Christ. (synergism) After 42 year a Christian, God has helped me change radically from the evil, selfish person I was. "May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ." 1 Thess. 5:23
3. Glorification - Finally, God makes us his perfect saints. This will not happen till Jesus returns. But, it will happen! " And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. 29 For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. 30 And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified." romans 8:28-30
I think Arminians get very mixed up about this order of salvation. Like Catholics, they put sanctification first, and try to win God's favour. Catholics end up in purgatory (look that up in your Bible dictionary). Arminians just keep on trying to win God's favour, and be perfect. Follow the three steps above, and you will find a deeper and more real relationship with God, when you acknowledge him as sovereign,, and take yourself off that throne of thinking you saved yourself!