Should I force Sunday school on my son?

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Jesus_Leads

Jesus_Leads

Active member
#101
Aug 15, 2021
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#101
KarynLouise said:
My son hates leaving the house. He's 9. He threw the biggest fit about going to church this morning. I feel like it's because he wants to stay home and play games or watch YouTube. The problem is that he makes himself so upset to try to convince me to let him stay home. He says he's in pain, that I hate him, and he cries. Once we get there, he calms down, has a good time, and is smiling when we leave. So do I force it on him, or worry that I really am hurting him to make him go through all of this agony to get there? I think I need to get him into counseling, but I'm trying to figure out how to do that with his insurance right now.
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Yes you have to compel. As a kid he doesn't know what's good or bad for him. All he knows is, I like this and I don't like that. A person once said, age of accountability for women is 15 and for men its somewhere arround 33(kidding). So you have to be incharge atleast untill you have an assurance that he's with God or he's mature enough to decide. Proverb clearly states to be hard on kids to make them walk in right way. Also Bible says in Hebrew 12 " For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant; later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
Hebrews 12:11 RSV

Take it this way, most kids have to be compelled to practice piano or any other instrument they hate it but after growing up they'll realise how great of a skill that they have in hand. So don't worry about compelling him when he gets sad remember he'll be happy some day.
 
Moses_Young

Moses_Young

Banned
#102
Sep 15, 2019
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#102
KarynLouise said:
My son hates leaving the house. He's 9. He threw the biggest fit about going to church this morning. I feel like it's because he wants to stay home and play games or watch YouTube. The problem is that he makes himself so upset to try to convince me to let him stay home. He says he's in pain, that I hate him, and he cries. Once we get there, he calms down, has a good time, and is smiling when we leave. So do I force it on him, or worry that I really am hurting him to make him go through all of this agony to get there? I think I need to get him into counseling, but I'm trying to figure out how to do that with his insurance right now.
Click to expand...
Yup. Sometimes, what is good for you is not pleasant. And what is pleasant is not good for you. Sometimes, what is good for you even hurts. If you love him, you will give him what is good for him, not what is pleasant at the time.
 
Butterflyyy

Butterflyyy

Well-known member
#103
Oct 31, 2019
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#103
KarynLouise said:
I told him no electronics for the week if he didn't come, and he still went on with the drama.
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Stick to your boundaries Mama. If he succeeds in moving this one to suit his own will, where will it end? He needs to respect what you say, don’t allow his intimidation tactics work, if you don’t establish respect and reinforce your boundaries by carrying out the consequences ( eg. gaming ban) then by the time he is bigger and stronger than you it will be too late. It’s a tough job but look to the Lord and stick to what you stand for, consistently then he knows where the boundaries are, and what is expected of him.
I have 5 grown kids who were nurtered by their Dad to not respect me. At the same time as this, he was bullying me and wearing me down. When one of my boys was 12 he began staying out all night with older bad boys. At 14 he left home and went to live with an older girl. He never came home and is now an abusive 16 year old Cannabis smoking father of a new baby. I tried my absolute best to bring my children up well, even home-educating them for many years. When they went into the state school system there was a lot of bad influence; if they had respected me and my boundaries it would have protected them from harm.
These are difficult days to raise children.
Another helpful point may be that when gaming, the frontal lobe of the brain is stimulated- this is the same part of the brain used for anger- so maybe discussions and discipline need to be established before gaming- and he needs to understand there will be more limits on gaming time if his outbursts continue. Be strong.
Hope it’s a help.
God bless you x
 
Butterflyyy

Butterflyyy

Well-known member
#104
Oct 31, 2019
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#104
Jesus_Leads said:
Yes you have to compel. As a kid he doesn't know what's good or bad for him. All he knows is, I like this and I don't like that. A person once said, age of accountability for women is 15 and for men its somewhere arround 33(kidding). So you have to be incharge atleast untill you have an assurance that he's with God or he's mature enough to decide. Proverb clearly states to be hard on kids to make them walk in right way. Also Bible says in Hebrew 12 " For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant; later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
Hebrews 12:11 RSV

Take it this way, most kids have to be compelled to practice piano or any other instrument they hate it but after growing up they'll realise how great of a skill that they have in hand. So don't worry about compelling him when he gets sad remember he'll be happy some day.
Click to expand...
This is so true. If my parents had not been too weak when I was 12 years old, I would be a good pianist now 😟 and would have had a very good education. I have had issues with self-discipline which has hindered me in life and before I was a Christian my character was a mess. Thankfully God did not give up on me.
I’m 49 and planning to start piano lessons soon.
 
Butterflyyy

Butterflyyy

Well-known member
#105
Oct 31, 2019
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#105
2ndTimothyGroup said:
I would recommend that you speak with key people at your church, likely those in his Sunday School class, and ask them if they could somehow throw some kind of celebratory party for him. If your son feels like the people at church Love him, he will probably crave to go to church. An impromptu party . . . I'm incredibly serious.

This should be standard practice for anyone who is struggling and suffering . . . especially those who feel like they don't want to be alive.
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He’s trying to manipulate her with guilt, to get his own way.
 
Butterflyyy

Butterflyyy

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#106
Oct 31, 2019
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#106
Remember you said this,
“Once we get there, he calms down, has a good time, and is smiling when we leave.“
 
shittim

shittim

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#107
Dec 16, 2016
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#107
I wonder how it went today?:unsure::)
Praying peace over this sister and her son in Jesus name.
 
shittim

shittim

Senior Member
#109
Dec 16, 2016
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#109
I have asked and He has fulfilled His promise to bring people to mind when He wants prayer for them.
An awesome teacher, John Fenn, has a brief teaching on it.
 
shittim

shittim

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#110
Dec 16, 2016
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#110
Love it the way when we draw closer to him, He draws closer to us.(y):)
 
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