Should I force Sunday school on my son?

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KarynLouise

KarynLouise

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#1
Jan 15, 2022
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#1
My son hates leaving the house. He's 9. He threw the biggest fit about going to church this morning. I feel like it's because he wants to stay home and play games or watch YouTube. The problem is that he makes himself so upset to try to convince me to let him stay home. He says he's in pain, that I hate him, and he cries. Once we get there, he calms down, has a good time, and is smiling when we leave. So do I force it on him, or worry that I really am hurting him to make him go through all of this agony to get there? I think I need to get him into counseling, but I'm trying to figure out how to do that with his insurance right now.
 
shittim

shittim

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Dec 16, 2016
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I'm an old man. Somewhere he has seen this behavior and is modeling it, just seems to me.
Shut off or monitor electronics perhaps?
Ask the Lord, holy Spirit will guide in all truth.
Praying in Jesus name
 
KarynLouise

KarynLouise

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#3
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#3
shittim said:
I'm an old man. Somewhere he has seen this behavior and is modeling it, just seems to me.
Shut off or monitor electronics perhaps?
Ask the Lord, holy Spirit will guide in all truth.
Praying in Jesus name
Click to expand...
I told him no electronics for the week if he didn't come, and he still went on with the drama.
 
tourist

tourist

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Maybe, for a few Sundays at least, you could possibly watch a church service online together. You could tell him that it would be more rewarding and enjoyable to go to your actual church. I know from experience that kids can be difficult. Of course, I just had my one daughter. I cannot even begin to imagine how hard it is to be a single parent. I lost custody of my daughter at the age of 5 due to the divorce.
 
tourist

tourist

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#5
Mar 13, 2014
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#5
shittim said:
I'm an old man. Somewhere he has seen this behavior and is modeling it, just seems to me.
Shut off or monitor electronics perhaps?
Ask the Lord, holy Spirit will guide in all truth.
Praying in Jesus name
Click to expand...
I'm an old man too, my friend. At least I feel that way. Your counsel is sound.
 
shittim

shittim

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Experiencing God was what brought a young man I know into a faith.
Can you pray with him and let him see answered prayer?
 
shittim

shittim

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#7
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my favorite ministry is jglm.org, it is the most bible based ministry I know to teach how to experience God. Many videos available, yt and on the site.
best wishes
 
posthuman

posthuman

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KarynLouise said:
My son hates leaving the house. He's 9. He threw the biggest fit about going to church this morning. I feel like it's because he wants to stay home and play games or watch YouTube. The problem is that he makes himself so upset to try to convince me to let him stay home. He says he's in pain, that I hate him, and he cries. Once we get there, he calms down, has a good time, and is smiling when we leave. So do I force it on him, or worry that I really am hurting him to make him go through all of this agony to get there? I think I need to get him into counseling, but I'm trying to figure out how to do that with his insurance right now.
Click to expand...
at 9 years old would you let him skip elementary school, middle school and high school?
just to play games and watch youtube?

i think you're fine.
he's trying to bend you to his will, and maybe yeah making himself sick doing it - but he's just a kid, and it's not his job to be in charge of such things. it's your job to teach him that in this life he will have to do many things that he doesn't particularly desire to do - not because he wants to do them, but because it is necessary they be done. recognizing such things and carrying them out is part of him becoming a man, and that's a process - a process of him growing up.
 
Roughsoul1991

Roughsoul1991

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#9
Sep 17, 2016
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#9
KarynLouise said:
My son hates leaving the house. He's 9. He threw the biggest fit about going to church this morning. I feel like it's because he wants to stay home and play games or watch YouTube. The problem is that he makes himself so upset to try to convince me to let him stay home. He says he's in pain, that I hate him, and he cries. Once we get there, he calms down, has a good time, and is smiling when we leave. So do I force it on him, or worry that I really am hurting him to make him go through all of this agony to get there? I think I need to get him into counseling, but I'm trying to figure out how to do that with his insurance right now.
Click to expand...
Force it like you force eating healthy. The parent knows what's best for his health even if he doesn't fully understand. His reasons for hating it may help you know how to fix it but sometimes if it is just technology then forcing it is best.

If they hate it because the teacher is bad, other kids bully him, bored, or he may be more intelligent and needs more in depth teaching.
 
A

azsheepdog

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#10
Apr 11, 2020
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#10
KarynLouise said:
My son hates leaving the house. He's 9. He threw the biggest fit about going to church this morning. I feel like it's because he wants to stay home and play games or watch YouTube. The problem is that he makes himself so upset to try to convince me to let him stay home. He says he's in pain, that I hate him, and he cries. Once we get there, he calms down, has a good time, and is smiling when we leave. So do I force it on him, or worry that I really am hurting him to make him go through all of this agony to get there? I think I need to get him into counseling, but I'm trying to figure out how to do that with his insurance right now.
Click to expand...
Be gentle but firm. I went through this with my youngest, but it passed. be firm, be consistent.
 
JStates

JStates

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Jan 5, 2022
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"A higher plane," hehe
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#11
Who is in charge in your house, you or your nine year old?

The Bible says that parents are to bring up a child in the way they should go. The Bible says that a parent who will not discipline their child hates them, because they are setting them up for failure later in life and avoiding their responsibility to teach their child, because discipline is hard.

When your son is a man, he can do as he pleases, but when he is a child in your home, he needs to be subject to your rules.

He's going to learn from your choices here. He's going to either learn a little something about authority and truth, or he's going to learn that you really don't have much of a foundation yourself since you are willing to capitulate to HIS will.

YOU are your child's counselor, by the way. You can delegate responsibility to teach and train your child to others, but you're rolling the dice on the result.
 
KarynLouise

KarynLouise

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#12
Thanks, guys. I felt like it was important to take him, but he was so upset that I was second guessing myself
 
JStates

JStates

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"A higher plane," hehe
www.youtube.com
#13
KarynLouise said:
Thanks, guys. I felt like it was important to take him, but he was so upset that I was second guessing myself
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Being a parent is hard. I have a little niece, three years old. My sister does a great job with her... but she's three, there are difficulties of course. It's hard to be consistent as a parent, but it's really important.

Hang in there!
 
Lighthearted

Lighthearted

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#14
Oct 17, 2016
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#14
KarynLouise said:
My son hates leaving the house. He's 9. He threw the biggest fit about going to church this morning. I feel like it's because he wants to stay home and play games or watch YouTube. The problem is that he makes himself so upset to try to convince me to let him stay home. He says he's in pain, that I hate him, and he cries. Once we get there, he calms down, has a good time, and is smiling when we leave. So do I force it on him, or worry that I really am hurting him to make him go through all of this agony to get there? I think I need to get him into counseling, but I'm trying to figure out how to do that with his insurance right now.
Click to expand...
I have a 9 year old daughter that can be the same way. She's 9...so yes, she goes WITH me to church!!! The most important job the Lord gave me as her mother is to plant a seed. I praise the Lord my parents planted a seed. That seed laid under the soil nearly dormant for a long time but it saved my life for eternity.

Train up a child in the way he should go, And even when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6
 
G

Gideon300

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#15
Mar 18, 2021
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#15
KarynLouise said:
My son hates leaving the house. He's 9. He threw the biggest fit about going to church this morning. I feel like it's because he wants to stay home and play games or watch YouTube. The problem is that he makes himself so upset to try to convince me to let him stay home. He says he's in pain, that I hate him, and he cries. Once we get there, he calms down, has a good time, and is smiling when we leave. So do I force it on him, or worry that I really am hurting him to make him go through all of this agony to get there? I think I need to get him into counseling, but I'm trying to figure out how to do that with his insurance right now.
Click to expand...
If he's ok there then ignore the tantrum. Sunday School may seem old fashioned but I've heard many testimonies of how it has helped people come to the Lord as adults. Children can be most manipulative, scheming and selfish critters. My son was a bit like that at kindergarten. He was upset right up until the time the ex turned around and walked off. He was a lot younger, of course. The devil does not want kids in Sunday School. We need to stand up to our children. They are innately rebellious and self centred. Love them, yes, indulge the sinful nature, no.
 
brighthouse98

brighthouse98

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#16
Apr 16, 2015
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Karyn,Things are far from what they used to be,the media has helped greatly in creating, and preserving fear in most people. You said you feel like,you mean you have not asked him why he is so fearful?? I would ask him why. It is not a question to me who rules the house,it is a question of how during this terrible covid fear,how you as parents can gain more trust from your child.

When my parents looked to make me eat things at the table I did not wish to eat,I took my beating,and no matter how mad they got, they would not break me! Why not have a Bible Study yourself with your child,and look to find out just what problem your child is having with going outside. ( Eph 6:4) You want to look to reason with your child not provoke him to anger.The discipline of the Lord is through love,not anger.

Can you force the child? SURE!!! But like me, the child will not forget what you have done,and later in his life,he will do what I did,and just leave the prison that was created. It's just a different way to look at this is all. You will do as you see fit,I am just looking to give you something to consider is all,not telling you what to do! You sure know your child much better then I do.
 
Dino246

Dino246

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#17
Jun 30, 2015
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#17
I'd recommend you read Boundaries With Kids by Cloud and Townsend.

Yes, take your child to church with you. No, don't tolerate the tantrums, and definitely don't reward them.
 
G

Godsgirl83

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#18
KarynLouise said:
My son hates leaving the house.
Click to expand...
Does he act like this only for Sunday school, or does this happen when it's time to leave for other things as well?
I know you mentioned before that you homeschool, so is Sunday school his main place of socialization with peers?
 
KarynLouise

KarynLouise

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Jan 15, 2022
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#19
Godsgirl83 said:
Does he act like this only for Sunday school, or does this happen when it's time to leave for other things as well?
I know you mentioned before that you homeschool, so is Sunday school his main place of socialization with peers?
Click to expand...
He fusses about going out in general, but...well, once he's made a friend somewhere, he does better, but he hasn't made any friends at Sunday school. He was less upset to stay in my class with me (I teach the first graders), but the children's ministry director said he needs to go to his own class.
 
Nehemiah6

Nehemiah6

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Jul 18, 2017
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KarynLouise said:
So do I force it on him, or worry that I really am hurting him to make him go through all of this agony to get there?
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Neither. What you could do is ask him what he knows about Jesus. If you have not really been teaching him about Jesus, then he does not see the connection between going to Sunday School and how it pleases the Lord.

We homeschool our grandsons and they learned about the Death, Burial and Resurrection of Christ last year. But before that they learned about His birth and His deity. If you do not have a good sound Bible story book for children with realistic pictures, it will pay to first go through the life of Christ until His resurrection. The problem is that too many Sunday schools go to the Old Testament first and the kids never get a systematic teaching on Christ.
 
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