Asian Women

[QuestionTime]

Someone told me once and I forget exactly what - but it was something they used to do apparently and it was a good thing. Heaping coals on someone's head I mean. It wasn't straight onto their head it was, like, on top of something.. I can't remember..

but basically it wasn't about scolding and harming someone but about warming them up. Literally.

Greetings Ellie,

I have never heard this description of that verse of scripture before, and I must say that I really like it.

Indeed, by being kind to them you warm them up to you. They begin to like you. I thought it was some sort of "be good so they burn up within and feel guilty" or something; but the way you describe it is probably more of what Jesus meant.

Just as we use expressions today, Jesus used expressions in his day. This perhaps may have been one of them, who knows...

Thanks for your insightful post!

Quest

 

[yenguccia]

hahaha so thats it!

they pretend to sleep so i wont talk to them! because they think i'll start telling them all about my asian driver stories.

on a side note, my favourite kind of t-shirt are those which have english writing on them but are made in asian countries - i.e. broken english. i have quite a collection, from china, HK, thailand, cambodia. the writing is hilarious.

also, engrish.com. love it.

We just got back from Spain and their menu written in English is so hilarious!!!
something like..!Pork jumped with garlic..".!! i wonder how the pork jumped...ehehhe

or

 

[seoulsearch]

We just got back from Spain and their menu written in English is so hilarious!!!
something like..!Pork jumped with garlic..".!! i wonder how the pork jumped...ehehhe

or

LOL!!! That's hysterical .

I can see it now... "Pork bungee jumped with garlic..."

 

[samcool77]

I am from Singapore. My wife is Singaporean. She looks after the kids, the house, some ebaying, and does a wonderful job. She respects me and I respect her. My wife is the take charge type and makes no excuses bout it, and I like that. I don't get hung up about it cos I talk to her alot and we pray alot together and minister alot together to people. When we went thru' tough times, she was there man. I mean tough. She never questioned our circumstances but just stood right beside me. That's more than enough for me.

I'd like to make a distinction here. Asian women can cast a net as wide as the ocean - the breath of types of Asian women cuts across the entire spectrum bec of the global influence, the net, etc. Pl do not stereotype them. Once we guys make a topic out of them, we are in for trouble. That's bec it gives rise to comparison.

At the end of the day, isnt' the church supposed to be borderless and ethnic-colour-region free ? We are all called to emulate Christ as husbands and wives, and we all have our own journeys as peoples, culture-groups, nationals, communities and most imporant of all, as individuals.

A wise pastor preached to us one day : "If you want to have an ideal wife, you first have to be the ideal husband". Cheers and Blessings, Sam

 

[Gojira]

Greetings,

I hope I can word this with sufficient eloquence so as not to offend...

In my work life I have had the pleasure of being co-employed with several Asian women. I have found them to be so wonderfully kind, non-judgmental, always friendly and very hard working. Most noticeable to me is that these women - specifically new immigrants - have grown up in a culture where men are highly respected.

I have found that North American women - in general - do not have the same respect for men that these Asian women have. North American women - in general - often do not have the same desire for quality work, and are often highly judgmental. If they sniff out a man and find that his position in life or confidence level is not equal to hers, they will often treat that man as an inferior.

To conclude, I present a question to the male readers of this thread specifically. Am I unique in this, or have any of you other men noticed these qualities in Asian women?

Quest (I'm Caucasian)

I prefer Latin and Asian women myself. They tend to take greater pride in their femininity -- as opposed to the "advanced" notions of their western counterparts, and they are more likely to adopt an "old-fashioned" or Biblical role in a relationship. Not condemning all American women, just not as impressed with them.

The only issue with being with such a woman is their culture. It can get in the way if you're an American. This happened to me when I married a Philippine girl 17 years ago. Her father did not seem to understand the boundaries between my household and his. This caused a massive argument and rift that also made things very difficult on my wife (they were eventually resolved).

Otherwise, between culture and physical traits (dark hair, eyes, olive-toned skin... dear GOD), I prefer Asian or Latin-American.

 

[Lynx]

*facepalm

Gojira, Gojira, Gojira... some of these old threads you dig up are good, topics we need to discuss from time to time. This, however, is not one of them. Sometimes you should just leave a thread buried.

 

[Gojira]

*facepalm

Gojira, Gojira, Gojira... some of these old threads you dig up are good, topics we need to discuss from time to time. This, however, is not one of them. Sometimes you should just leave a thread buried.

No one told you to waste your time on it.

If it's out there and stimulates thoughts, I'm contributing. If you or others don't like it, that's fine. Move on. I'm not specifically asking for your input

 

[Lynx]

Since when has that ever stopped ANYBODY on the forum from contributing input?

 

[Gojira]

Since when has that ever stopped ANYBODY on the forum from contributing input?

Well it's for your own benefit since it seems to annoy you so much. No sense in wasting your energy on it. But, if that floats your boat, I guess you gotta doo whatcha gotta doo.

 

[Lanolin]

not male or american or properly asian (I wasnt born in asia) but with Chinese parents I can tell you from my perspective... I wouldnt generalise and say that all women necessarily respect men but they will to their face and 'saving face' or politeness is a big thing in Chinese culture at least. We do not do things to embarass or bring shame to others. This can be good, but it can also be taken to extreme and cause people to lie or not say anything to 'save face'.

And of the Asian Americans I know, one of which my cousin became and married (and separated) ...I think maybe its not just a female thing but an American thing not to respect anybody..and independence is highly valued.

 

[Lanolin]

was going to add the other thing about Chinese culture...even with all the revolutions etc one cant just dismiss thousands of years of Confucian tradition that meant that family and ancestry and filial piety counts for much.

Even today when asians are somewhat 'westernised' the whole 'life, liberty and pursuit of happiness' thing is american dream, and that is tied to independence. It is not the same as the asian dream..the asian dream would be good fortune, a long life, and prosperity (good health) and this is always in the context of family...and family being much broader than the western or american concept of family which is only really the 'nuclear family' . In asian context family is like your ENTIRE village clan.

Fu Lu Shou is one of the three chinese 'gods' if you will representing those three qualities.

notice that 'liberty' is not really a value that asians esteem. A westerner would think nothing of cutting family ties or divorce at the drop of a hat if nothing was working out. But for an asian or easterner, cutting off family would be like losing ones entire support system, name and identity.

In Maori culture for example, when you introduce yourself its an expected oratory tradition to recite your pepeha which is where you come from, what tribe you belong to, what waka or canoe your ancestors arrived in nz from, which mountain and which river you are associated with. You might be expected to recite your geneology back to five or more generations. This a totally different worldview from how a pakeha or westerner would think.

And the 'mana' or status or respect that a person has is deeply tied with how they treat their family/tribe.

I cant explain it all in just one post but its kind of difficult to explain something that is foreign to many people in a way they can understand.

 

[17Bees]

was going to add the other thing about Chinese culture...even with all the revolutions etc one cant just dismiss thousands of years of Confucian tradition that meant that family and ancestry and filial piety counts for much.

Even today when asians are somewhat 'westernised' the whole 'life, liberty and pursuit of happiness' thing is american dream, and that is tied to independence. It is not the same as the asian dream..the asian dream would be good fortune, a long life, and prosperity (good health) and this is always in the context of family...and family being much broader than the western or american concept of family which is only really the 'nuclear family' . In asian context family is like your ENTIRE village clan.

Fu Lu Shou is one of the three chinese 'gods' if you will representing those three qualities.

notice that 'liberty' is not really a value that asians esteem. A westerner would think nothing of cutting family ties or divorce at the drop of a hat if nothing was working out. But for an asian or easterner, cutting off family would be like losing ones entire support system, name and identity.

In Maori culture for example, when you introduce yourself its an expected oratory tradition to recite your pepeha which is where you come from, what tribe you belong to, what waka or canoe your ancestors arrived in nz from, which mountain and which river you are associated with. You might be expected to recite your geneology back to five or more generations. This a totally different worldview from how a pakeha or westerner would think.

And the 'mana' or status or respect that a person has is deeply tied with how they treat their family/tribe.

I cant explain it all in just one post but its kind of difficult to explain something that is foreign to many people in a way they can understand.

What can I say - cultures are different. I mean, if I went to pick up a date in full Maori dress and say hello with my eyes wide open and tongue sticking out then slam a club on the ground and finish with a Haka war dance, I'd probably lose both the girl and my life, liberty and pursuit of happiness.

 

[Lanolin]

What can I say - cultures are different. I mean, if I went to pick up a date in full Maori dress and say hello with my eyes wide open and tongue sticking out then slam a club on the ground and finish with a Haka war dance, I'd probably lose both the girl and my life, liberty and pursuit of happiness.

well yea they wouldnt want to go live in america. No offense, but I dont see the attraction.

 

[Lanolin]

I dont know how americans date but it would seem (from the movies) they pick someone up in a very fast car and do some drugs at the same time while making out in back seat of said car in the middle of nowhere. Because apparently if you are in a car rules just dont apply.

If that appeals to you then thats probably how many are conceived...or in the countryside they just have a hayride.

In Asia they didnt industrialise until this last century so things were much different in terms of how men and women relate to each other, and a lot of marriages were arranged amonsgst families.