Pastors, Please Quit Doing This

[SteveEpperson]

What, you ask? Berating men.

Enough, already.

We understand that the guy watching football on his couch instead of attending your Sunday services is hurting your bottom line. But please, just stop.

You are not going to get him there by telling him it's okay if his wife leaves him and that he deserves it if she does. It isn't okay.

Jesus (remember Him?) told us:

I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery. Mat. 19:9.

I have to assume that goes for the wife as well. For example:

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Eph 5:22-23

I don't think Paul was instructing the wives in the Church here in Ephesus to run off and take the children if they thought their husbands weren't Godly enough. Instead, he often instructed the men to love their wives, a subject you very seldom hear preached anymore.

I am tired of hearing how horrible men are in the church. Instead, I implore you: GO QUIET FOR SIX MONTHS. I promise your churches will survive the ordeal.

Put down your microphones, step out from the pulpit, and go into your communities. There, you will find that man on the couch, watching football, desperate for spiritual direction.

But now, instead of discipleship, he gets met with an anonymous contact form on a website. If your ministry doesn't care about human connection, why should he?

And I know the old, tired rebuttal about some being the hands versus the feet versus the mouth. However, no disrespect intended, but the mouth has gotten WAY TOO BIG.

You may think you're "calling out men" but instead, you are adding fuel to the 50 percent divorce rate among Christians. You do that by berating men in front of their wives. And since Satan is behind every divorce, he's relishing in the destruction of our families.

In the next six months, I challenge ALL pastors, no matter how "effective" you think your ministry is, to stop preaching and show the rest of us how to make two disciples. Then, those two will make four. And those four will make eight, and so on.

Before long, those horrible men sitting on their couches watching football will get activated. Then, watch the Gospel spread like wildfire throughout every nation, just like Jesus envisioned.

 

[NotmebutHim]

And I will add the contrast between sermons on Mother's Day and Father's Day....................

 

[Dino246]

And I will add the contrast between sermons on Mother's Day and Father's Day....................

Tell me about it. In one church I attended, the pastor praised mothers (and women in general) to the highest heavens on Mothers' Day, but on Fathers' Day, he focused on God the Father, neglecting the men entirely.

 

[shittim]

most who claim to be Christian aren't really, Pastors as well.
Playing "church" for an hour a week doesn't fulfill His requirements.

 

[TheIndianGirl]

My pastor praises mothers/mother-figures and fathers/father-figures on Mother's/Father's Day, since a lot of the youth in my church come from troubled homes/foster care, etc.

 

[Lanolin]

?


That pastor just needs to hook up with Missionary Athletes International.

 

[kaylagrl]

What, you ask? Berating men.

Enough, already.

We understand that the guy watching football on his couch instead of attending your Sunday services is hurting your bottom line. But please, just stop.

Wow! So as someone who was in ministry I'm gonna take a different view than most will. Or maybe first I need to ask a question, is the guy on the couch a Christian or not? Because I'm assuming he is. And if he is the pastor shouldn't need to berate him. He ought to be by his wife's side, doing whatever he can to be a help in church. Let footballs bottom line hurt and be in the house of God. If there was ever a day we needed men in church, it's today!

You are not going to get him there by telling him it's okay if his wife leaves him and that he deserves it if she does. It isn't okay.

Jesus (remember Him?) told us:

I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery. Mat. 19:9.

That seems rather specific. Never heard a pastor say that in all my years. But still, your pastor shouldn't have to guilt you (the guy on the couch) into going to church.

I have to assume that goes for the wife as well. For example:

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Eph 5:22-23

I don't think Paul was instructing the wives in the Church here in Ephesus to run off and take the children if they thought their husbands weren't Godly enough. Instead, he often instructed the men to love their wives, a subject you very seldom hear preached anymore.

Ok, but as the spiritual leader of your home, you ought to be in church. Especially if there are children involved.

I am tired of hearing how horrible men are in the church. Instead, I implore you: GO QUIET FOR SIX MONTHS. I promise your churches will survive the ordeal.

I'm sorry, I respectfully disagree. We've had our churches closed because of the pandemic. We have a lot of issues going on in this country, I don't know where you are, and the very last thing we need is the house of God closed. People are committing suicide at an alarming rate. People need the church to be open.

Put down your microphones, step out from the pulpit, and go into your communities. There, you will find that man on the couch, watching football, desperate for spiritual direction.

I'm sorry, but that's your job to go and win people in. Once they are there, the pastor preaches the Word. Once you go outside the church doors, that's YOUR mission field. Jesus commanded us to go and spread the Gospel.

And I know the old, tired rebuttal about some being the hands versus the feet versus the mouth. However, no disrespect intended, but the mouth has gotten WAY TOO BIG.

You may think you're "calling out men" but instead, you are adding fuel to the 50 percent divorce rate among Christians. You do that by berating men in front of their wives. And since Satan is behind every divorce, he's relishing in the destruction of our families.

When I traveled in ministry I was in a lot of churches, in all different denominations. I means hundreds of churches and one of the saddest things to see was churches full of women. About the only man there was the pastor, because it's better for a church to be closed than to have a female pastor. So the women did everything else, ran the church. Were they all widows? No, their husbands just attend church once a year at Christmas. If expecting a husband to take his spiritual role seriously and be by his wife in church is berating him, I think you have a serious misunderstanding. You may explain what you mean, and I may be off in left field. I'm only responding to what I see.

In the next six months, I challenge ALL pastors, no matter how "effective" you think your ministry is, to stop preaching and show the rest of us how to make two disciples. Then, those two will make four. And those four will make eight, and so on.

I'm sorry, but it's as simple as this, spread the Good News. You're armed with your Bible and the Holy Spirit. The pastor shouldn't have to spoon feed you. Have prayer meetings in your home. Start small. Reach your neighbors by asking to take their kids to Sunday school. Many parents have come to the Lord by coming to see their child in a play at church. Ask co- workers to come to special events at church. My father did that and today that man and his wife are pastors. It's not difficult, you don't need to be primed. Just share the Good News. Simple.

Before long, those horrible men sitting on their couches watching football will get activated. Then, watch the Gospel spread like wildfire throughout every nation, just like Jesus envisioned.

No, not necessarily. I left a church that decided they couldn't even get their own men to attend church so they bought a big screen tv. smh Even that didn't work. My husband loves sports, before we married I told him there are two things sports don't come before, God and family. He agreed and he has kept that promise to me. He has never not attended church because of a game or a family get together. You be the ember, you light the flame. It's not up to the pastor, his job is to preach the Word, your job is to share it with others.

 

[shittim]

Thank you Kaylagirl! Ididn't know you are so strong in ministry!
Not surprised as you always post Biblical truth.
We are seeing people here who have lost hope and are ending life, the devil is having his way to steal, kill and destroy.
The fields are truly white for harvest.
bless you

 

[kaylagrl]

most who claim to be Christian aren't really, Pastors as well.
Playing "church" for an hour a week doesn't fulfill His requirements.

Yes, but there are a lot of sincere people in ministry too. And I can tell you I traveled long distances to minister in churches, in snow and storms only to get to an almost empty church where the people couldn't even bother to show up. I've traveled long distances to have the pastor say " Don't expect many people tonight there is a football, baseball, hockey, basketball etc... game on tonight." Kind of hard to have sympathy for people with that attitude.

 

[kaylagrl]

Thank you Kaylagirl! Ididn't know you are so strong in ministry!
Not surprised as you always post Biblical truth.
We are seeing people here who have lost hope and are ending life, the devil is having his way to steal, kill and destroy.
The fields are truly white for harvest.
bless you

It breaks my heart when people say close down the church. I grew up in church, I went into ministry. My whole life has been around church life. When I see only a Sunday service because they can't get people to attend at night, it upsets me. Look at the crowds that attend sports events. How many of them would you estimate are Christians, or claim to be? We are suppose to be a light to the world. Everyone pick up an oar and row!! If there ever was a time we needed the church doors open and everyone attending it's now! We get fed then we go feed others. We ought to be on fire! My father always says " People will come to see a fire"! Let's show people we have THE answer to all their problems. It's time for revival!! It's not time for saints to sit on their hands and wait for the pastor to prime them. The last orders we got were "go"!! Let's go share that Good News!! Jesus still saves!!

 

[shittim]

This does seem to be the time of falling away.
I heard Chuck Swindoll ( Insight for Living) teach that if you want to go into ministry, you need to be prepared to have your heart broken every day.
Please don't give up, our very best is still ahead of us!
The ministry that teaches, blesses and sustains me the most is jglm.org, all the videos readily available on you tube and at the jglm site. The Divine Healing Training was the one that really jumpstarted and produced great results.
He gives his testimony at 30 minutes of number 2

 

[kaylagrl]

This does seem to be the time of falling away.
I heard Chuck Swindoll ( Insight for Living) teach that if you want to go into ministry, you need to be prepared to have your heart broken every day.
Please don't give up, our very best is still ahead of us!
The ministry that teaches, blesses and sustains me the most is jglm.org, all the videos readily available on you tube and at the jglm site. The Divine Healing Training was the one that really jumpstarted and produced great results.
He gives his testimony at 30 minutes of number 2

Thank you. I'm headed to the doctor with my mother who is going in for testing. Since she has gotten over her cancer she hasn't been able to walk. So she has to have tests today. I will try to watch the video this evening. Thank you for sharing. <3

 

[Aaron56]

As the spiritual leader in my home, the covering of my wife, and spiritual father to a multi-state household of saints I sat on my back porch watching a football game drinking a tequila with lime and enjoying a cigar last Sunday. Within the duration of the day I was able to encourage our daughters, connect with spiritual sons, and cover my wife with the word of God.

The house of God HAS NEVER BEEN A BUILDING. We are the living stones, built into a dwelling place for the Lord by the Holy Spirit. Do you think just knowing this will end our addiction to institutional religion? NO. We have to practice this. We go knowing that where the saints are, the Lord is there with them, that we consecrate a place by our presence not by our pews and stained glass. We are to live in the presence of God, not in a form of it without influence or power. Not in a manner handed down by the Romans and certainly not in a way that emulates the Mosaic priesthood ("You hear from God for us and tell us what He says").

Do you need a meeting? Have a meeting. But quit calling the building "a church" and quit calling the stage and pews "a sanctuary" and quit calling a man who doesn't know you "my pastor". We are weak and sick because we cannot discern the body. Those who financially benefit from this condition keep the people sick and weak for their own gain. My point: they cannot help you. But the Lord is with you, if He indeed lives in you, and He will never forsake you or leave you as orphans. When the Lord leads you out of the institution you will not lose a thing. In fact, you will gain the mind of Christ with the assurance that His love never fails.

 

[p_rehbein]

What, you ask? Berating men.

Enough, already.

We understand that the guy watching football on his couch instead of attending your Sunday services is hurting your bottom line. But please, just stop.

You are not going to get him there by telling him it's okay if his wife leaves him and that he deserves it if she does. It isn't okay.

Jesus (remember Him?) told us:

I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery. Mat. 19:9.

I have to assume that goes for the wife as well. For example:

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Eph 5:22-23

I don't think Paul was instructing the wives in the Church here in Ephesus to run off and take the children if they thought their husbands weren't Godly enough. Instead, he often instructed the men to love their wives, a subject you very seldom hear preached anymore.

I am tired of hearing how horrible men are in the church. Instead, I implore you: GO QUIET FOR SIX MONTHS. I promise your churches will survive the ordeal.

Put down your microphones, step out from the pulpit, and go into your communities. There, you will find that man on the couch, watching football, desperate for spiritual direction.

But now, instead of discipleship, he gets met with an anonymous contact form on a website. If your ministry doesn't care about human connection, why should he?

And I know the old, tired rebuttal about some being the hands versus the feet versus the mouth. However, no disrespect intended, but the mouth has gotten WAY TOO BIG.

You may think you're "calling out men" but instead, you are adding fuel to the 50 percent divorce rate among Christians. You do that by berating men in front of their wives. And since Satan is behind every divorce, he's relishing in the destruction of our families.

In the next six months, I challenge ALL pastors, no matter how "effective" you think your ministry is, to stop preaching and show the rest of us how to make two disciples. Then, those two will make four. And those four will make eight, and so on.

Before long, those horrible men sitting on their couches watching football will get activated. Then, watch the Gospel spread like wildfire throughout every nation, just like Jesus envisioned.

Maybe this is aimed at YOUR Pastor? Clearly though you have a skewed view of what the duties of a Pastor are.............

Never ceases to amaze me how people will come here to poor mouth the men and women who have dedicated their lives to serving God. As if somehow, they are experts in that service........goodness........give it a rest.

Worry about what you are doing for the Kingdom, yeah, start there

 

[p_rehbein]

Tell me about it. In one church I attended, the pastor praised mothers (and women in general) to the highest heavens on Mothers' Day, but on Fathers' Day, he focused on God the Father, neglecting the men entirely.

Maybe that is because many of the men in the family are not men of God? Maybe because many of the men of the family do not take serious their role as the Spiritual Leader of the family? Maybe because many of the men of the family just are not SERVING GOD?

 

[ResidentAlien]

We need to get rid of the office of head pastors altogether. Not scriptural and not good for the body. It would give more men something to do. Keep the pastor if you want to, just get rid of the office.

 

[Edify]

As the spiritual leader in my home, the covering of my wife, and spiritual father to a multi-state household of saints I sat on my back porch watching a football game drinking a tequila with lime and enjoying a cigar last Sunday.

I am..... shocked, that you openly confessed such a thing as if it were nothing. The true standards of righteousness are way higher than that.

 

[Aaron56]

I am..... shocked, that you openly confessed such a thing as if it were nothing. The true standards of righteousness are way higher than that.

You misspelled "standards of religion".

Have no fear, all who are mature will understand and if you think differently than I, God will correct you too.

 

[EmilyNats]

I do think that we need to get rid of the idea that if someone isn't sitting on a pew for an hour on Sunday morning and Sunday night, they must be backslidden. I have heard a few pastors say that - but ONLY if the person skipped because of football, it's apparently okay if it's anything else (as if that pastor has never taken a Sunday off to actually rest on the day of rest).

HOWEVER. It is not the pastor's job to go out and evangelize. It is the pastor's job to be the head over his own flock, and to make sure they are all doing well and have a spiritual advisor, peacemaker, and listener when they need it. It is his job to visit sick members, both physically sick and otherwise, and provide prayer and encouragement for them.

It is the job of Christians to go out and reach the people around them, not just the pastor. And in fact, most people are more open to someone who does not have an office in church coming and speaking to them about Christ. When a pastor or deacon does it, I've heard many say things like "well it's their job to do it", and thus they see it as less genuine - like just something they have to do.

Also, I think it's kind of absurd to say that by pastors calling out men on their BS, they are making the divorce rates rise. First of all, I've NEVER heard a pastor single out men, and I've been to a lot of different churches and a lot of different denominations. Secondly, divorce is more accepted as normal today than it has ever been in American history. If Christians don't stand against it, who will? Absolutely preach against divorce. And preach on what unmarried people should be looking for in a good spouse too! And while they're at it, they should preach a whole lot more against gossip, and gluttony, and pride, and every other sin that seems to get neglected. Who should pastors model themselves after if not Paul, Peter, and all the other disciples?

The men sitting on their couches all day are doing so because they are indulgent and don't care to better themselves, no amount of babying from a pastor can change that.

 

[JaumeJ]

You misspelled "standards of religion".

Have no fear, all who are mature will understand and if you think differently than I, God will correct you too.

Hello A. Blissings always in Jesus Yeshua. In the spirit of your post, it is my desire that all who have received the Holy Spirit will come to the realization that what they learn afterward from the Word they actually already knew.
Our beloved Father is completing His work begun in each of us, making each of us holy and perfect. No we see no one other than our Savior so, however it will be accomplished on His day. Keeping the faith is more than enough for each of us.. It is the good works given us by our Father.