Relationship Goals
- Thread starter BattleAngel777
- Start date
-
Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.
If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!
To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
Having learned a lot during painful years, how can those years be seen as wasted?
Please excuse me for saying that this seems quite contradictory.
Perhaps the end result was not what you desired.
Has your faith and trust in God grown?
I would see that as a positive
Please excuse me for saying that this seems quite contradictory.
Perhaps the end result was not what you desired.
Has your faith and trust in God grown?
I would see that as a positive
I'm choosing to only look on the bright side here and by doing so, I choose to let go of the idea that I wasted time. Instead I've chosen to work on myself and my relationship with God. Because of that, it has grown significantly and so have I.
I cannot say that I am not also at fault here because I am. For years, I didn't fully trust God and I definitely wasn't obedient. So can I be surprised by the fact that things did not go as I desired them to?
I think that as time went on and the relationship remained a positive one, that is possible for me to forget the past. Especially given how terrible my memory is lol although some trauma does stick with you forever. My trust in God overpowers any personal feelings I have about the situation now.
So that means that even though you see it as another potential waste of time, I've chosen to Trust that God has it handled.
So that means that even though you see it as another potential waste of time, I've chosen to Trust that God has it handled.
I am sorry if I am harsh here..because I was in the same situation like yours a few years back...I just want to let you see the things I refused to see when i was with that man...
If God has called you and him to marry each other...why is that you don't feel at peace with him...? and there is confusion on your part...?
1.You were traumatized (he caused trauma in your life)
2. He is faking his faith to get something from you and this guy is deceiving you like what you have said(you've been deceived)
3. You don't trust him.
4. You feel like you have wasted your 7 years with him.
5. I am sorry to ask this but this guy is sleeping with you as well?If yes...you know that God won't approve His children engaging in pre-marital sex...
Are those not signs that God is not approving of your relationship with that guy?
I understand the 7 years thing...but girl...if the relationship doesn't align with what the bible says don't be afraid to walk away...don't waste another 7 years of your life trying to hold onto a relationship God doesn't approve...
-
1
- Show all
You're so right, we were both being disobedient and in return we had a toxic relationship. We've both realized that as long as we do what we want instead of what He wants, it's never going to work.
Yeah he definitely cause some trauma, but I've forgiven him. Doubt I'll ever forget, but I do know he's meant for me. I know that with all that I am. I tried to move on and it never lasted.
I am struggling with the idea that I can just choose to trust him. I know with God all things are possible, but have you ever had to do something like that?
Yeah he definitely cause some trauma, but I've forgiven him. Doubt I'll ever forget, but I do know he's meant for me. I know that with all that I am. I tried to move on and it never lasted.
I am struggling with the idea that I can just choose to trust him. I know with God all things are possible, but have you ever had to do something like that?
-
1
- Show all
You’re right to point out matters concerning issues of trust. You may not realize it, but the first trust issue you need to resolve is trusting God.
Sadly, you have continually disobeyed Him by living a sexually immoral lifestyle while claiming His Son as your Lord. I encourage you to meditate upon what Jesus says, “Why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord’ and do not do what I say?”
It is with great sadness that I hear story after story like the one you are telling. My advice is to repent of your wickedness, end this relationship and commit yourself fully to the Lord Jesus Christ.
Here’s a painfully similar story that was addressed by David Pawson in the video below (starting around 36 minutes and 50 seconds) concerning a woman who was also living a sexually immoral lifestyle with her boyfriend, yet she wanted to be a Christian as well. I’ve provided a transcript of the section for you to read below the video.
I pray you do the right thing.
I had another experience up in Aberdeen—Oil City. I was preaching the Gospel in a theatre for three nights. And at the end of the third night, a young lady came up to me. She was in a bad state. She was sobbing. She was, uh, angry. There were blotches in her skin. And she really looked in a bad way. And she said, “Mr. Pawson, you frustrate me!” And I said, “How do I frustrate you?” “You’ve made me want to be a Christian!” I said, “Well that’s why I came to Aberdeen.” And she said, “No, you don’t understand.” She said, “I’ve tried to be a Christian for 18 months.” She said, “Every Evangelist who’s preached in Aberdeen, I’ve gone forward at the end.” She said, “I’ve been counseled. I’ve tried to do what they told me. Nothing has changed.” And she said, “I came to the point where I believe there’s nothing in it.”
And I said, “And how did you come to be in the theatre tonight?” She said, “A friend urged me to come along and hear you.” And she said, “I’d stopped wanting to be a Christian. Now you’ve raised it all again, and I’m frustrated.” And I asked the Holy Spirit for a word of wisdom, and He gave me one. And I looked her in the eye, and I said, “Who are you living with?” And she colored up a bit, and she said, “I’m living with a young man.”
I said, “Are you married to him?” “No.” “Are you living as if you were married?” “Yes.” “Why aren’t you married?” “Well, he doesn’t believe in marriage. He said, ‘It’s just a bit of paper. As long as we love each other that’s all that matters.’” So I said, “You’ve never made any promises to him, and he hasn’t made any to you. So if he leaves you tomorrow, he’s not breaking any promise?” “Oh, he won’t leave me tomorrow. He loves me too much.”
I said, “Well, you’ve got a very difficult decision to make.” I said, “I wish I could make it for you, but I can’t.” I said, “You’ve got to decide which man you want to live with: Jesus or this young man. Because He won’t join in an arrangement like that.” And she was turned on me with anger and said, “Nobody else told me that!” But I said, “Nobody else has helped you. I’m telling you what they should have told you.” I was really just telling her what repentance means. It means giving up a wrong relationship, apart from anything else.
And she then turned around and ran out of that theatre. And I heard her weeping all the way out. And my heart really went after her. And immediately I thought of the young man, a rich young man who came to Jesus. And He loved him. He said, “All that you need is to get rid of your money, and come on and follow me.” And the young man loved his money too much. And when faced with a choice, he chose his money. And this girl, she ran out of that theatre sobbing her heart out. My heart went with her. I’ve been back to Aberdeen. I’ve hoped to meet her again, but I never have. And I’ve never forgotten her. And I knew just how Jesus felt when the rich young man went away—loving his money. I was telling her what repentance meant, but that was what she wasn’t willing to do.
Sadly, you have continually disobeyed Him by living a sexually immoral lifestyle while claiming His Son as your Lord. I encourage you to meditate upon what Jesus says, “Why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord’ and do not do what I say?”
It is with great sadness that I hear story after story like the one you are telling. My advice is to repent of your wickedness, end this relationship and commit yourself fully to the Lord Jesus Christ.
Here’s a painfully similar story that was addressed by David Pawson in the video below (starting around 36 minutes and 50 seconds) concerning a woman who was also living a sexually immoral lifestyle with her boyfriend, yet she wanted to be a Christian as well. I’ve provided a transcript of the section for you to read below the video.
I pray you do the right thing.
I had another experience up in Aberdeen—Oil City. I was preaching the Gospel in a theatre for three nights. And at the end of the third night, a young lady came up to me. She was in a bad state. She was sobbing. She was, uh, angry. There were blotches in her skin. And she really looked in a bad way. And she said, “Mr. Pawson, you frustrate me!” And I said, “How do I frustrate you?” “You’ve made me want to be a Christian!” I said, “Well that’s why I came to Aberdeen.” And she said, “No, you don’t understand.” She said, “I’ve tried to be a Christian for 18 months.” She said, “Every Evangelist who’s preached in Aberdeen, I’ve gone forward at the end.” She said, “I’ve been counseled. I’ve tried to do what they told me. Nothing has changed.” And she said, “I came to the point where I believe there’s nothing in it.”
And I said, “And how did you come to be in the theatre tonight?” She said, “A friend urged me to come along and hear you.” And she said, “I’d stopped wanting to be a Christian. Now you’ve raised it all again, and I’m frustrated.” And I asked the Holy Spirit for a word of wisdom, and He gave me one. And I looked her in the eye, and I said, “Who are you living with?” And she colored up a bit, and she said, “I’m living with a young man.”
I said, “Are you married to him?” “No.” “Are you living as if you were married?” “Yes.” “Why aren’t you married?” “Well, he doesn’t believe in marriage. He said, ‘It’s just a bit of paper. As long as we love each other that’s all that matters.’” So I said, “You’ve never made any promises to him, and he hasn’t made any to you. So if he leaves you tomorrow, he’s not breaking any promise?” “Oh, he won’t leave me tomorrow. He loves me too much.”
I said, “Well, you’ve got a very difficult decision to make.” I said, “I wish I could make it for you, but I can’t.” I said, “You’ve got to decide which man you want to live with: Jesus or this young man. Because He won’t join in an arrangement like that.” And she was turned on me with anger and said, “Nobody else told me that!” But I said, “Nobody else has helped you. I’m telling you what they should have told you.” I was really just telling her what repentance means. It means giving up a wrong relationship, apart from anything else.
And she then turned around and ran out of that theatre. And I heard her weeping all the way out. And my heart really went after her. And immediately I thought of the young man, a rich young man who came to Jesus. And He loved him. He said, “All that you need is to get rid of your money, and come on and follow me.” And the young man loved his money too much. And when faced with a choice, he chose his money. And this girl, she ran out of that theatre sobbing her heart out. My heart went with her. I’ve been back to Aberdeen. I’ve hoped to meet her again, but I never have. And I’ve never forgotten her. And I knew just how Jesus felt when the rich young man went away—loving his money. I was telling her what repentance meant, but that was what she wasn’t willing to do.
-
1
- Show all
Hi Tina, I believe that God can do anything that can be done (I don't believe that He can make a square circle, of course, as that cannot be done ).
That said, I don't believe that God forces others to do something that we want them to do (even if it is considered to be a very good thing from our POV), as that would mean that He would be forcing them to do something that is against their will, and such a thing, Biblically or experientially, hardly seems like His normal, modus operandi where we are concerned (does it to you)
If you want to trust someone, then trust God, by choosing to always be obedient to Him/by taking Him at His very word, and then by trusting Him with the outcome, as well .. e.g. Romans 8:28, knowing that He not only wants what is best for you, but that He knows/understands what the best thing for you actually is (like we, oft times, do not) and can see that you get it
Here's some simple, but profound advice from one of my favorite pastor/theologians. I try to keep this thought in the forefront of my mind throughout the day, especially when I'm faced with not knowing which choice to make and/or when I'm faced with not wanting to do something that I, at least, believe needs to be done (be it business or personal).
God bless you!
~Deut
). That said, I don't believe that God forces others to do something that we want them to do (even if it is considered to be a very good thing from our POV), as that would mean that He would be forcing them to do something that is against their will, and such a thing, Biblically or experientially, hardly seems like His normal, modus operandi where we are concerned (does it to you
)If you want to trust someone, then trust God, by choosing to always be obedient to Him/by taking Him at His very word, and then by trusting Him with the outcome, as well .. e.g. Romans 8:28, knowing that He not only wants what is best for you, but that He knows/understands what the best thing for you actually is (like we, oft times, do not) and can see that you get it
Here's some simple, but profound advice from one of my favorite pastor/theologians. I try to keep this thought in the forefront of my mind throughout the day, especially when I'm faced with not knowing which choice to make and/or when I'm faced with not wanting to do something that I, at least, believe needs to be done (be it business or personal).
God bless you!
~Deut
-
1
-
1
- Show all
I understand sis... I guess it is harder if "sex" is involved... I was with a man for more or less 6 years although we didn't sleep together...but I was emotionally too attached to my ex because he was my first boyfriend... We kept coming back to each other also...he was not a believer but tried to listen to me and agreed whenever we spoke about my faith and God... I think he was just trying to ride along with me because he wanted me... There were so many things I ignored...because I wanted him in my life and also In my mind I invested more or less 6 years of my life already to this man so I was determined I'll make things work out, ignoring the red flags and kept on forgiving and taking him back...
During the last year of our relationship things became so clear already...i walked away......left him... And never looked back again... he tried to reach out to me but I was determined to obey God... ... It was a painful and hard decision but Thank God I did... If I didn't leave the relationship I am sure something worst happen to me if I ended up with him...now looking back I am like oh I didnt see this and that why I didn't see that... God opened my eyes clearly when I totally put my trust in Him and obeyed Him wholeheartedly... I think what you are doing right now is you are trusting God with only one of your feet because you want this person in your life...what I'm gonna advice is... Leap with your both feet into God's gracious hands whatever happens and you will never regret it...
I've been there... I understand how you feel about it... It is hard...
Nothing much I can say now but a prayer for wisdom and direction for you... God loves you to leave you in your situation right now. Thanks for sharing your time here with us. Hope you are enjoying your time here with us already 🤗
God bless you ❤
During the last year of our relationship things became so clear already...i walked away......left him... And never looked back again... he tried to reach out to me but I was determined to obey God... ... It was a painful and hard decision but Thank God I did... If I didn't leave the relationship I am sure something worst happen to me if I ended up with him...now looking back I am like oh I didnt see this and that why I didn't see that... God opened my eyes clearly when I totally put my trust in Him and obeyed Him wholeheartedly... I think what you are doing right now is you are trusting God with only one of your feet because you want this person in your life...what I'm gonna advice is... Leap with your both feet into God's gracious hands whatever happens and you will never regret it...
I've been there... I understand how you feel about it... It is hard...
Nothing much I can say now but a prayer for wisdom and direction for you... God loves you to leave you in your situation right now. Thanks for sharing your time here with us. Hope you are enjoying your time here with us already 🤗
God bless you ❤
-
1
-
1
-
1
- Show all
I read your story...it breaks my heart whenever i hear innocent kids stories of abuse ...they don't deserve that...and thank you for being so brave to share your stories...your stories could help change another person's it could encourage someone and it could provide hope to someone who might be living and experiencing the same pain....and most of all your story HIS glory 😇
I am not done yet lol 😂
I am being nosy here 😂 you mean A lady from my country? The Philippines? She was a famous model? I wanted to ask her name but I won't lol 😉
I am not done yet lol 😂
I am being nosy here 😂 you mean A lady from my country? The Philippines? She was a famous model? I wanted to ask her name but I won't lol 😉
I didn't read all the other replies so somebody may have already said this. But if you think that he is faking his faith in Jesus, then you ABSOLUTELY should not be even dating this guy. If he wants you to sleep with him, he isn't the right guy. End of story. Just like that. God NEVER calls Christians to marry unbelievers or rebellious believers. Yes, He calls us to love and forgive them, but I don't have to marry everyone I forgive. And the flip side of that coin is that we as females need to be the kind of women that God directs Godly men to marry. A relationship with the right guy won't be hard, or "back and forth" as you put it. There may be hard factors, like circumstances and difficult family members. But there shouldn't be a difficulty between you and the guy.
-
1
-
1
- Show all
Ha! Yes, she is beautifully Philippino! My goodness . . . the Lord knew what He was doing with He made the Philipina's! I've had two remarkably beautiful girlfriends for your race. Amazing people . . . truly. But I seem to believe in them much more than they believed in me. haha
And thank you for your strong comments. You know, I love, love, love to talk about all stages of my life. It doesn't bother me at all to talk about molestation and all of this nonsense that my life continues to endure. You know why? Because it isn't mine. I love to talk about the things that God has done through me . . . even the bad things. God is in full control . . . and he allows bad and terrible things to happen to us . . . sort of like Job. God allowed Satan to sift Job . . . what? This doesn't happen to us?? Oh, yes . . . it absolutely does! We shouldn't be upset by trials and tribulations . . . for these are promised by Christ to happen to His True Believers! So it's ok! To be hated by humans is to be Loved by God! So . . . we'd better start living the Christian life so that we too can be hated!
I know . . . all things backward, but this is the Plan of God. He doesn't operate the way the world operates.
And thank you for your strong comments. You know, I love, love, love to talk about all stages of my life. It doesn't bother me at all to talk about molestation and all of this nonsense that my life continues to endure. You know why? Because it isn't mine. I love to talk about the things that God has done through me . . . even the bad things. God is in full control . . . and he allows bad and terrible things to happen to us . . . sort of like Job. God allowed Satan to sift Job . . . what? This doesn't happen to us?? Oh, yes . . . it absolutely does! We shouldn't be upset by trials and tribulations . . . for these are promised by Christ to happen to His True Believers! So it's ok! To be hated by humans is to be Loved by God! So . . . we'd better start living the Christian life so that we too can be hated!
I know . . . all things backward, but this is the Plan of God. He doesn't operate the way the world operates.
-
1
- Show all
Ha! Yes, she is beautifully Philippino! My goodness . . . the Lord knew what He was doing with He made the Philipina's! I've had two remarkably beautiful girlfriends for your race. Amazing people . . . truly. But I seem to believe in them much more than they believed in me. haha
And thank you for your strong comments. You know, I love, love, love to talk about all stages of my life. It doesn't bother me at all to talk about molestation and all of this nonsense that my life continues to endure. You know why? Because it isn't mine. I love to talk about the things that God has done through me . . . even the bad things. God is in full control . . . and he allows bad and terrible things to happen to us . . . sort of like Job. God allowed Satan to sift Job . . . what? This doesn't happen to us?? Oh, yes . . . it absolutely does! We shouldn't be upset by trials and tribulations . . . for these are promised by Christ to happen to His True Believers! So it's ok! To be hated by humans is to be Loved by God! So . . . we'd better start living the Christian life so that we too can be hated!
I know . . . all things backward, but this is the Plan of God. He doesn't operate the way the world operates.
And thank you for your strong comments. You know, I love, love, love to talk about all stages of my life. It doesn't bother me at all to talk about molestation and all of this nonsense that my life continues to endure. You know why? Because it isn't mine. I love to talk about the things that God has done through me . . . even the bad things. God is in full control . . . and he allows bad and terrible things to happen to us . . . sort of like Job. God allowed Satan to sift Job . . . what? This doesn't happen to us?? Oh, yes . . . it absolutely does! We shouldn't be upset by trials and tribulations . . . for these are promised by Christ to happen to His True Believers! So it's ok! To be hated by humans is to be Loved by God! So . . . we'd better start living the Christian life so that we too can be hated!
I know . . . all things backward, but this is the Plan of God. He doesn't operate the way the world operates.
I guess that seems True... In my life..that sometimes when everything seems so smooth it scares me already lol 😂
Just continue sir sharing your life story... You never know who will gonna see or hear your story 🤗 I love listening to real people's testimonies What were their lives were like before Christ and How they came to know Him 😊 it is so inspiring to listen to them i shed so much tears already listening to some 😁
Ha! Well, I should say that my former GF from the Philippines CLAIMED that she was a former model . . . which may have meant that she's posed for quite a few cameras, but not actually modeling. Too funny. I didn't press her on anything she said . . . however, she truly was shockingly beautiful.
And thanks for the encouragement in my continuing to speak of past experiences. The way that I see it is like this: I am not my own anymore, for I have been purchased by Christ. I am the property of Jesus. If this is True, then my past experiences also belong to Him. I have no problem exposing myself . . . I don't fear the thoughts of men and women, but I do Fear the Almighty Power of God.
My friend, you have a great personality. I encourage you to be a positive influence on others more and more. You never know, the Lord may have created you to be a natural cheerleader! The Body of Christ needs people like you very much, so be sure to feel right about yourself. Believe in yourself in a most balanced way . . . learn to never hate yourself, but also learn to leg to of elevated ego and selfish pride. As I gauge your personality, you just might be gifted a peaceful, easy life by the Lord. People who encourage often don't suffer from incredible life pain . . . hopefully that will be you for the rest of your life!
Leviticus 26:13 NLT - "I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt so you would no longer be their slaves. I broke the yoke of slavery from your neck so you can walk with your heads held high."
Again . . . believe in yourself as a good, normal, balanced follower of Christ. No self-hate . . . no self-doubt. It's ok to question ourselves, but never ok to doubt.
And thanks for the encouragement in my continuing to speak of past experiences. The way that I see it is like this: I am not my own anymore, for I have been purchased by Christ. I am the property of Jesus. If this is True, then my past experiences also belong to Him. I have no problem exposing myself . . . I don't fear the thoughts of men and women, but I do Fear the Almighty Power of God.
My friend, you have a great personality. I encourage you to be a positive influence on others more and more. You never know, the Lord may have created you to be a natural cheerleader! The Body of Christ needs people like you very much, so be sure to feel right about yourself. Believe in yourself in a most balanced way . . . learn to never hate yourself, but also learn to leg to of elevated ego and selfish pride. As I gauge your personality, you just might be gifted a peaceful, easy life by the Lord. People who encourage often don't suffer from incredible life pain . . . hopefully that will be you for the rest of your life!
Leviticus 26:13 NLT - "I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt so you would no longer be their slaves. I broke the yoke of slavery from your neck so you can walk with your heads held high."
Again . . . believe in yourself as a good, normal, balanced follower of Christ. No self-hate . . . no self-doubt. It's ok to question ourselves, but never ok to doubt.
-
1
- Show all
Ha! Well, I should say that my former GF from the Philippines CLAIMED that she was a former model . . . which may have meant that she's posed for quite a few cameras, but not actually modeling. Too funny. I didn't press her on anything she said . . . however, she truly was shockingly beautiful.
And thanks for the encouragement in my continuing to speak of past experiences. The way that I see it is like this: I am not my own anymore, for I have been purchased by Christ. I am the property of Jesus. If this is True, then my past experiences also belong to Him. I have no problem exposing myself . . . I don't fear the thoughts of men and women, but I do Fear the Almighty Power of God.
My friend, you have a great personality. I encourage you to be a positive influence on others more and more. You never know, the Lord may have created you to be a natural cheerleader! The Body of Christ needs people like you very much, so be sure to feel right about yourself. Believe in yourself in a most balanced way . . . learn to never hate yourself, but also learn to leg to of elevated ego and selfish pride. As I gauge your personality, you just might be gifted a peaceful, easy life by the Lord. People who encourage often don't suffer from incredible life pain . . . hopefully that will be you for the rest of your life!
Leviticus 26:13 NLT - "I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt so you would no longer be their slaves. I broke the yoke of slavery from your neck so you can walk with your heads held high."
Again . . . believe in yourself as a good, normal, balanced follower of Christ. No self-hate . . . no self-doubt. It's ok to question ourselves, but never ok to doubt.
And thanks for the encouragement in my continuing to speak of past experiences. The way that I see it is like this: I am not my own anymore, for I have been purchased by Christ. I am the property of Jesus. If this is True, then my past experiences also belong to Him. I have no problem exposing myself . . . I don't fear the thoughts of men and women, but I do Fear the Almighty Power of God.
My friend, you have a great personality. I encourage you to be a positive influence on others more and more. You never know, the Lord may have created you to be a natural cheerleader! The Body of Christ needs people like you very much, so be sure to feel right about yourself. Believe in yourself in a most balanced way . . . learn to never hate yourself, but also learn to leg to of elevated ego and selfish pride. As I gauge your personality, you just might be gifted a peaceful, easy life by the Lord. People who encourage often don't suffer from incredible life pain . . . hopefully that will be you for the rest of your life!
Leviticus 26:13 NLT - "I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt so you would no longer be their slaves. I broke the yoke of slavery from your neck so you can walk with your heads held high."
Again . . . believe in yourself as a good, normal, balanced follower of Christ. No self-hate . . . no self-doubt. It's ok to question ourselves, but never ok to doubt.