Next time you give someone a "gift" and tell them it is a "gift", do you impose conditions like
- You must REALLY REALLY REALLY believe me with all your heart
- You must be totally loyal to what I said
- You must totally depend on me
etc etc?
I think most of your potential recipients of that gift will say "Thanks but no thanks!"
The gifts of the Spirit are not for the possession of individuals. They are supplied to the body of Christ and the Holy Spirit divides the gifts among the members of the body of Christ as He wills, not as we think we should. Paul teaches that we must follow love and desire spiritual gifts. He says that without love, we are nothing. This means that there is a condition for use a gift supplied by the Holy Spirit to the body of Christ. We must love the Lord with all our heart and love our fellows members of the body of Christ as we love ourselves.
If we really love God, we will honour His Word, and place our faith on it, instead of human wisdom. If we are not perfect in love to God and our brethren in Christ, then the gifts will not be genuine manifestations.
The reason why there is so much misuse of the gifts is because people desire them for selfish reasons. They want to possess them for themselves so they can say, "I am special. I have the gift of [whatever]". If that person tries to exercise the gift he thinks he has, he is just a useless noise and no benefit at all to the body of Christ.
We don't see the gifts being manifested very much in our churches, because too many people are walking in the flesh and not the Spirit.
Manifesting a gift of the Spirit is like working for a company and having a company car to use for business purposes. You can't use it to take the family on a trip to the beach, or shopping, or for any other personal use. You have to use the car while engaged in the business of the company. To manifest a true gift of the Spirit, you have to be fully involved in the same mission that Jesus sent the Holy Spirit to the church. If you try to manifest a gift for personal reasons, it will be false and not genuine.
This is why there are so many false prophecies around, given by people who are dreaming stuff out of their heads, because they are giving these 'wonderful' prophecies to show how spiritual they are, and to bolster their personal reputation.
Just like manager who will take the company car away from someone who misuses it for personal reasons, the Holy Spirit will withdraw a gift from someone in the church who likewise misuses it.
One good Bible commentator said that tongues dried up after the 1st Century because so many were misusing it, that it became discredited and people stopped seeking it. This is why tongues is in disrepute today among so many - because of the wide misuse of it contrary to Paul's teaching.