How would you feel if you never got married even though you would of like to?

[Live4Him]

I was teasing you
I repent

Its good to want goodness
To some romance is goodness

No need to repent.

I've got a very healthy sense of humor (sometimes you just have to laugh).

I'm not into "cheesy romance", btw.

I just like women (if only the feeling were mutual...lol), and making them happy (by disappearing...lol) makes me happy.

 

[Encouragement]

I do not believe in romantic love
It is a chemical reaction
And does not last
I do believe God is big, really big
And he can and will meet ALL our needs one way or the other

How can you not belive in romantic love?
Things like liking someone,falling in love ect are traits that all human beings have which is part of how we have been created by God.Romantic affections becomes the foundation for most genuine romantic relationships.Naturally that emotional high of falling in love etc grows in stages over time from falling on love to being in love to staying in love etc etc.
What about the pain that romantic love brings when we are betrayed,abused or let down etc?
Yes iam sure scientifically things can be explained away because of our biological dynamics yet this doesnt make things any less real or authentic.

 

[cinder]

But the idea that romantic love should be the primary consideration when it comes to choosing a marriage partner is really a fairly recent (ie younger than the USA) development in human history. For much of human history, marriages were decided / arranged on other considerations. And being in love was just kind of an added bonus if it happened.

 

[Platosgal]

How can you not belive in romantic love?
Things like liking someone,falling in love ect are traits that all human beings have which is part of how we have been created by God.Romantic affections becomes the foundation for most genuine romantic relationships.Naturally that emotional high of falling in love etc grows in stages over time from falling on love to being in love to staying in love etc etc.
What about the pain that romantic love brings when we are betrayed,abused or let down etc?
Yes iam sure scientifically things can be explained away because of our biological dynamics yet this doesnt make things any less real or authentic.

I "believe" in The Bible- Jesus is the Christ, God is eternal, The Spirit is Truth

I do not believe in humanity's emotional moments
Because they are temporary and even delusional
Romance was created by people who wanted to sell something
Love is created by God to build something
Romance creates a facade destined to disappoint
Love Creates a foundation to build stability and strength
God is love and only through God can humans love

But what do I know? Admittedly not much

 

[Kireina]

Hi, Kireina.

I'll attempt to answer your questions, but, before I do, I need to say this:

My own personal experience is NOT the standard for marriage. God's word is the standard, and if anything in my own personal experience doesn't align itself with God's word, then it should be disregarded in favor of God's word.

Now, to your first question...

When it comes to marriage, the first thing that we need to understand is that God designed it to be a natural reflection of the spiritual union between Christ and the church.

We read:

Ephesians chapter 5

[22] Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
[23] For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
[24] Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
[25] Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
[26] That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
[27] That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
[28] So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
[29] For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
[30] For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
[31] For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
[32] This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
[33] Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

In marriage, a husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it. He is also to seek to sanctify and cleanse his wife with the washing of water by the word and to love his wife as his own body, even as Christ does for the church. Similarly, a wife is to reverence her husband as the church reverences Christ. THIS is what marriage was ordained of God to represent.

With such being the case, let me turn the first question that you asked me around to ask this:

Spiritually speaking, would Christ ever marry a woman, but in the end the marriage would be broken without hope for reconciliation?

Please consider Christ's covenant with the nation of Israel which is likened to a marriage covenant all throughout scripture for the correct answer to this question.

We read:

Jeremiah chapter 3

[1] They say, If a man put away his wife, and she go from him, and become another man's, shall he return unto her again? shall not that land be greatly polluted? but thou hast played the harlot with many lovers; yet return again to me, saith the LORD.
[2] Lift up thine eyes unto the high places, and see where thou hast not been lien with. In the ways hast thou sat for them, as the Arabian in the wilderness; and thou hast polluted the land with thy whoredoms and with thy wickedness.
[3] Therefore the showers have been withholden, and there hath been no latter rain; and thou hadst a whore's forehead, thou refusedst to be ashamed.
[4] Wilt thou not from this time cry unto me, My father, thou art the guide of my youth?
[5] Will he reserve his anger for ever? will he keep it to the end? Behold, thou hast spoken and done evil things as thou couldest.
[6] The LORD said also unto me in the days of Josiah the king, Hast thou seen that which backsliding Israel hath done? she is gone up upon every high mountain and under every green tree, and there hath played the harlot.
[7] And I said after she had done all these things, Turn thou unto me. But she returned not. And her treacherous sister Judah saw it.
[8] And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also.
[9] And it came to pass through the lightness of her whoredom, that she defiled the land, and committed adultery with stones and with stocks.
[10] And yet for all this her treacherous sister Judah hath not turned unto me with her whole heart, but feignedly, saith the LORD.
[11] And the LORD said unto me, The backsliding Israel hath justified herself more than treacherous Judah.
[12] Go and proclaim these words toward the north, and say, Return, thou backsliding Israel, saith the LORD; and I will not cause mine anger to fall upon you: for I am merciful, saith the LORD, and I will not keep anger for ever.
[13] Only acknowledge thine iniquity, that thou hast transgressed against the LORD thy God, and hast scattered thy ways to the strangers under every green tree, and ye have not obeyed my voice, saith the LORD.
[14] Turn, O backsliding children, saith the LORD; for I am married unto you: and I will take you one of a city, and two of a family, and I will bring you to Zion:
[15] And I will give you pastors according to mine heart, which shall feed you with knowledge and understanding.

Here is but one of many places in scripture where Israel is called the LORD's "wife" (vs. 1) or the one that he was "married" (vs. 14) to.

Unfortunately, she (Israel) repeatedly played the "whore" (vss. 2-3, 9) or the "harlot" (vss. 6, 8), and she "refused to be ashamed" (vs. 3) or to "acknowledge her iniquity" (vs. 13), and she therefore never "turned" (vs. 7) or "returned" (vss. 1, 7, 12) to the LORD.

Because of her stubborn refusal to repent, the LORD ultimately "put her away and gave her a bill of divorce" (vs. 8).

In the case of the LORD and Israel, it's NOT that "the marriage was broken without any hope for reconciliation", but rather that Israel refused to do what was necessary in order for there to be reconciliation...and such was the case with my own wife and me.

Ultimately, my ex cheated on me repeatedly (there were many other problems as well), and she refused to either acknowledge that what she was doing was sinful or to repent of the same. In our particular case, I'm NOT the one who "put her away and gave her a bill of divorcement", but she is the one who divorced me.

Could we have been reconciled?

Yes, we could have been, but her own free will choices hindered that from ever happening.

When it comes to the ordinance of marriage, Jesus said:

Mark chapter 10

[6] But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.
[7] For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife;
[8] And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh.
[9] What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

Although God's desire for marriage is that "they are no more twain (two), but one flesh", a man or woman does have the ability, of his or her own free will choice, to put that which God has joined together asunder. It's certainly not God's will, but a man or woman can do so of his or her own free will choice.

This is what happened ultimately in the case of me and my ex. She chose to opt out of what God had joined together.

It's really that simple.

I hope that this answers your first question.

In regard to your second question, I do believe that God will lead us to who he wants us to marry.

For example, the LORD directed Abraham's servant to Rebekah who was to be Isaac's wife. I won't quote it from scripture, but you can read it for yourself in Genesis chapter 24 if you'd like to.

Finally work done yay! I wanted to reply earlier but i got caught up in my work.


Thank you @Live4Him 🤗 it is a good read...thanks for including some bible verses also 😊
Make sense to me now...I agree HE could have restored your marriage HE could have prevented your divorce.. nothing that GOD cant do...but GOD allowed your wife to exert free will...it is her disobedience...she had chosen to walk away from your marriage.


About my second question that means God will direct us to someone but God wont tell us who to marry like for example God will say to me "Kireina" John would be your husband to be... God can do that HE is GOD But HE wont do that...God doesnt do that ..this is something that HE allows us to choose...and the bible is our guide in finding/choosing the right kind of woman/man to marry. yeah..?


Thank you again for answering my queations 🤗 God bless you and tour family ❤

 

[Kireina]

I "believe" in The Bible- Jesus is the Christ, God is eternal, The Spirit is Truth

I do not believe in humanity's emotional moments
Because they are temporary and even delusional
Romance was created by people who wanted to sell something
Love is created by God to build something
Romance creates a facade destined to disappoint
Love Creates a foundation to build stability and strength
God is love and only through God can humans love

But what do I know? Admittedly not much

I do not believe in romantic love
It is a chemical reaction
And does not last
I do believe God is big, really big
And he can and will meet ALL our needs one way or the other

May i ask sister what is a romantic love...? Maybe your definition of romantic love...? Thanks 🤗

 

[Platosgal]

May i ask sister what is a romantic love...? Maybe your definition of romantic love...? Thanks 🤗

Romantic "love" is the intense emotional reaction
Most times triggering a sexual physical response
Sometimes triggering an ego based response
Always idealistic version of reality and projection based in the imagination
It disappoints 100% - with time
Usually 60 days sometimes a prolonged "feeling" of love can be created by physical interaction
But that is delusional

But hope is not lost
God IS !ove
So he Can and does unite people to build and grow together
Creates family and support
Psalm 68:6
"God sets the lonely in families"
I am sure he gifts "Eros " in the mix
And steady emotional support and joy

But "Romance" sells lipstic and nylons
Nothing more

 

[Encouragement]

I "believe" in The Bible- Jesus is the Christ, God is eternal, The Spirit is Truth

I do not believe in humanity's emotional moments
Because they are temporary and even delusional
Romance was created by people who wanted to sell something
Love is created by God to build something
Romance creates a facade destined to disappoint
Love Creates a foundation to build stability and strength
God is love and only through God can humans love

But what do I know? Admittedly not much

I am not sure what your life experiences have been in the area of relationships but the term romantic love is just used to distinguish it from say maternal love..parental love..the love a person has for a really dear best friend etc.
The capacity to experience romantic affections are Gods idea within human beings which has been marred by sin and the bible mentions about evil/deceitful desires.However liking someone in a romantic context can be cause by all kind of things like you have people who are infatuated by some singer they dont really know and have never even met..thats delusional as it's based on idolic fantasy.
Yet when you feel really attracted to someone in the right context such feelings are categorized as having romantic feelings for them..thats perfectly natural.
In terms of selling things off from that Is just the commercial element like valentines day..romantic environments ect...flower shops etc.
Saying you really like someone and they feel the same way too and saying you miss each other is all part of expressing romantic affections and for many they are real feelings and are genuine.Romantic moments are created between two people from so many things...a poem sent..a love heart sent,Holding hands,watching a summer sunset...the list is endless..
In terms of humans being unable to love only through God isnt exactly true..Humans have the capacity to give love and receive love even thought they have a sinful nature..Some people we know are just evil in terms of how they treat others for mans expression of love and Gods love are at complete different ends of the spectrum.Gods love is holy,righteous etc.. mans love is far from this...yet it still in many cases has certain elements of genuine care,tenderness,Sacrifice,affection and such like.

 

[Lanolin]

well
I think if you in a position in which you didnt get married (like you had an engagment and they broke it off) you would feel gutted and maybe you would have a hard time to get over it.

But if you never got engaged or accepted a proposal or prosposed to anyone then I suppose thats different.
I dont think you would miss what you didnt really plan on having.

 

[Live4Him]

About my second question that means God will direct us to someone but God wont tell us who to marry like for example God will say to me "Kireina" John would be your husband to be... God can do that HE is GOD But HE wont do that...God doesnt do that ..this is something that HE allows us to choose...and the bible is our guide in finding/choosing the right kind of woman/man to marry. yeah..?

God can direct us to our spouses however he sees fit. My advice is simply to always be seeking God's will IN EVERYTHING, and then to follow his lead. In our particular case, God told us both that we were to marry each other on the same exact day. Also, as I mentioned earlier, we both spent considerable time praying after hearing that to be sure that it truly was God who spoke to us.

 

[Encouragement]

God can direct us to our spouses however he sees fit. My advice is simply to always be seeking God's will IN EVERYTHING, and then to follow his lead. In our particular case, God told us both that we were to marry each other on the same exact day. Also, as I mentioned earlier, we both spent considerable time praying after hearing that to be sure that it truly was God who spoke to us.

Yea I really do believe that being completely open to God and earnestly seeking his guidance is key as marriage is such a life changing decision.
I heard a true story of a woman who belived God revealed to her who her partner would be and she didn't even know the guy.She wa so convinced that she planned things and even brough a wedding dress in anticipation of marrying him.However when the guy found what was going on he made it close that he had no romantic interest in her at all ect...much to her utter despair and humiliation..So there is wisdom,common sense and really allowing God to convey truth in this area.
Ironically there are some Christians who just meet somebody...date..get engaged...then marry and have a great marriage..yet didn't spend a great deal of time seeking God ect.
I guess God deals with us individually in his unique way..

 

[Pipp]

Im cool either way. Lol

 

[Kireina]

Romantic "love" is the intense emotional reaction
Most times triggering a sexual physical response
Sometimes triggering an ego based response
Always idealistic version of reality and projection based in the imagination
It disappoints 100% - with time
Usually 60 days sometimes a prolonged "feeling" of love can be created by physical interaction
But that is delusional

But hope is not lost
God IS !ove
So he Can and does unite people to build and grow together
Creates family and support
Psalm 68:6
"God sets the lonely in families"
I am sure he gifts "Eros " in the mix
And steady emotional support and joy

But "Romance" sells lipstic and nylons
Nothing more

Those are when we start idolizing Romance but in a godly committed marriage romance can help improve your marriage... I think...I am not married yet and never been married...but I like romance in my marriage I think a lil romance is good as long as we won't let it rule over us...

holding hands as we walk along the shore lol (I think this is a song 😄) is romantic 😶


Making your wife/husband a cup of coffee in the morning is romantic for me too

Watching movies together at home

Lil things that you least expect your wife/husband do for you...

Sure,the things above will make me feel loved and feel appreciated... and will make me love him more... and will make our marriage more happier and stronger 😊


Thanks sis for answering my questions 😊

 

[Encouragement]

Im cool either way. Lol

Like the attitude.😊
With a short and simple statement..👍🏻

 

[Encouragement]

Those are when we start idolizing Romance but in a godly committed marriage romance can help improve your marriage... I think...I am not married yet and never been married...but I like romance in my marriage I think a lil romance is good as long as we won't let it rule over us...

holding hands as we walk along the shore lol (I think this is a song 😄) is romantic 😶


Making your wife/husband a cup of coffee in the morning is romantic for me too

Watching movies together at home

Lil things that you least expect your wife/husband do for you...

Sure,the things above will make me feel loved and feel appreciated... and will make me love him more... and will make our marriage more happier and stronger 😊


Thanks sis for answering my questions 😊

Yes romance within marriage or within any romantic relationship is a necessity..some partners occassionally complain that their spouse/Partner isnt romantic enough..🤣
..flowers anyone..🥀🌹🌹🌹🌹🏵🏵💮🌸💐🌻🌻..😉😉

 

[TheIndianGirl]

But the idea that romantic love should be the primary consideration when it comes to choosing a marriage partner is really a fairly recent (ie younger than the USA) development in human history. For much of human history, marriages were decided / arranged on other considerations. And being in love was just kind of an added bonus if it happened.

I think you may be right. Nowadays people have expectations for romantic love, and people will divorce for this reason (hence why divorce rates are high). People expect to be "in love." It's hard to be romantic if someone is not "in love."

 

[wisebeardman]

I thought about mail order bride once, but wasn't going to pay that much for shipping.

 

[Encouragement]

I think you may be right. Nowadays people have expectations for romantic love, and people will divorce for this reason (hence why divorce rates are high). People expect to be "in love." It's hard to be romantic if someone is not "in love."

well people should never be in a committed relationship if they are not in love or have a genuine attraction towards someone.
Havng said that falling in love with some one mostly happens over time and to actually marry someone who you don't even love can spell disaster.Gosh I could never so that to the other person yet alone to my own self.
However people can be motivated by so many things and some people can even act romantically toward someone because they mostly want something from them.
I have heard of Christian couples who have said never in a million years who they choose who God brought into their lives if it was up to them,yet then ended up loving them to bits in the end..
There was a real life court case where a woman divorced her husband..she said he was too nice to her..too perfect..🤪🤪🤪🤪

 

[Lafftur]

Hmmmm...... Here's a thought.... being single can be "heavenly" because.....

in Heaven there is no giving in marriage. lol!

Matthew 22:29-30 King James Version (KJV)
29 Jesus answered and said unto them, Ye do err, not knowing the scriptures, nor the power of God.

30 For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven.

Marriage is only for a brief moment on Earth......so, if one never marries they probably didn't miss much and avoided a lot of trouble! lol!

Although, there is a wedding supper of the Lamb....and there is a Bride of Christ so, that's the marriage I'm looking forward to!

Revelation 19:7-9 King James Version (KJV)
7 Let us be glad and rejoice, and give honour to him: for the marriage of the Lamb is come, and his wife hath made herself ready.

8 And to her was granted that she should be arrayed in fine linen, clean and white: for the fine linen is the righteousness of saints.

9 And he saith unto me, Write, Blessed are they which are called unto the marriage supper of the Lamb. And he saith unto me, These are the true sayings of God.

 

[CS1]

Hello today I was thinking about my life and stuff in general.There are am sure countless people in general who for whatever reason never got married through they would have wanted too...Christian and non Christian alike. Many women/men have experienced abusive partners in the past and never got the chance in life to experience someone falling in love with them In a genuine way. It makes me sad that this can happen..but I know that it does happen to some people.
For us as Christian's I know many would naturally want to meet someone special and get married..it's a perfectly natural desire to have and everyone has a different backgrounds.Some may have been married before and now are single,Some are single mums,Some may be widowed,others may have never had a relationship before,others have had relationships before yet for various reasons things didnt work out,some may have been hurt and though wanting to met someone is at the same time feeling anxious of being hurt again..the list goes on.
Personally I would want to met someone and get married most definitely yet at the same time honestly if it doesn't happen it wouldn't crush me (been through a lot over the years😔)..as the most important thing for me is to have done the will of God for my life though I am totally open to God regarding marriage too.I love romance and think its magical to meet someone special.
So my question is how would you feel if you never ended up meeting someone and got married even though you would want too?
How would it affect you view about God etc.Wanting to get married is a perfectly natural desire to have and the bible say that God gives us the desires of our heart and Paul also addresses the issue of wanting marriage in the context of going ahead rather than burn with passion. I know some people say they are not really bothered yet another time it shows that it does concern them somewhat. I know that women wanting to have children and their age too can also impact this too for some. I would love to hear you thoughts on this.

I would like to say it depends on why and the reason for not wanting to or having trouble to be married.

If a past relationship causes fear of marriage or one has been in the experience of marriage and is now currently not married. can produce many fears and insecurities. Also if we are looking for a relationship in the same manner we found and were in the lAST ONE it could be we are headed for the same result.

But the biggest challenges to overcome are:

Patience
loneliness
and belonging to something

The surest way to find that right person is to FIRST return to your First Love The Lord Jesus. Second Return to your first works serving Jesus with your gifts and talents.

Then as The Lord to bring you a husband or wife that meets your NEEDS and desires the calling you have on your life.

Then pray when you find them and continue to serve the Lord. There are many unsaved couples married couples who are still with the very wife or husband they married 30 years ago. IF the world can do it how much more can we?