I was despairing at how long some of these replies are lol but am guilty as charged. A heads up if you only want a quick reply, this is a marathon. Just jump on over to the other side lol
This thread has been an interesting read so far. I have been to quite a few different denominations over the years, reformed, Salvation Army, AOG, Methodist etc.
Firstly I would have to say that I have found no two Individual churches are the same even if they are similar in style and differing.
It’s hard not to sound like an arrogant, self-deceived, judgemental nit-picker when discussing these matters to be frank, but I understand the posters dilemma and genuine desire to both follow their current convictions and to have fellowship.
So (despite the risk of being misunderstood and offending just about everyone - eek ) here goes.
Personally speaking, I have found similar human character flaws -and strong lopsided doctrinal bias in all of the churches and house groups I have attended, but I have also found many biblical strengths, and (At the very least) a handful of genuine believers in most.
I have spent several years in a “reformed church”. It was both a wonderful and horrific experience many ways. I met some wonderful believers and heard some good teaching and I learned a lot, but sadly I learned about who not to become by much of what I observed and heard the longer I stayed there. Overall, I don’t regret going though. As my gran used to say - (sorry to non meat eaters) you need to learn to eat the meat and just spit the bones out.
If you think the “reformers” have nailed Balanced biblical doctrine, follow the “church of acts“ lifestyle, and abound in the fruit of the spirit, more than any other denomination, I am sorry but you may find a big fall or at least a big disappointment awaits you.
I can’t say that you will find a better experience in any other bias and pyramid-power style denomination, or so called “free” non denominational (usually with non- accountable elders/leadership).
What I can encourage you to do though, is to maybe look for evidence of Christ in individual believers.
And in the whole, a Preaching of the genuine simple gospel,
And leadership (they all have them even if they claim not to) who have and hold to solid basic biblical principles - but also manifest an obvious down to earth humility and exhibit a great willingness to embrace those who disagree on non-salvational issues, and accept them equally into the fold as it were.
The “flock”should also have Healthy differences and respect for each other’s differing opinions and personal convictions, and a willingness to Genuinely LISTEN, to discuss and examine their own thoughts and beliefs even with those who seem to be at odds with them.
A church with a willingness to deal with sin, but also to not to force (Even the leaders’) personal convictions on one another.
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Please I urge you, don’t look for a label, look for the good in others. Look for the evidence of Christ, not human failings. If you don’t then you won’t go/stay anywhere Or fellowship with anyone except replicas of yourself who hold to your own specific convictions, misconceptions, errors in doctrine (we all have them) and biases.
If you want to grow in grace and the other fruits, go where you can be challenged, go where you have to bear with others and go where you find Christ, not a mirror.
Look for The fruits.... The love. The desire and attempting to live by scripture, even if it’s a bit lopsided or not all as you perceive it should be, (not talking about basic salvational issues or embracing obvious sin into the. church) the willingness to love, the willingness to learn and grow together. The willingness to bear with you as you are now, and to treat you as family and an equal.
I admire your desire to find a biblical church, but the biblical churches were a mess honestly. Large or small.
It isn’t about where we meet, it isn’t about how we arrange the “service”, “gathering” or whatever, it isn’t about one pastor, 12 elders, a little group of “equals” or any of that.
It’s about us wanting to come together in a place where we can all
Focus on Christ and one another.
Where we can worship our saviour and talk of His love, where we can follow a tradition or not follow a tradition to help us focus on Christ. Where we can be loud and dance like david, or Be still and know that He is God. It really doesn’t matter.
What matters is the body come together and they come together to be near those who love Christ, to grow to know one another better so we can serve and build up one another, and share His word and worship Him together.
Go where you can be at peace and where you can grow, but ultimately your walk and your growth depend on you clinging to Christ and seeking His face and studying His word to check what you hear and to challenge your own beliefs as you go. He will lead you in all Hos ways as you trust in Him, but never ever trust in man. Love man, fellowship with man and serve man, but remember you are as flawed as they and they are as right as you. Love them all.